Can you revise my thesis?

Question

here is my thesis
"If advertising is used effectively it can promote global awareness."

My research paper contains effective advertising skills and what mediums are best to promote global awareness. It also explains what global warming and ways to become "green"

"Green" meaning environmentally friendly. Like building green

my project in general is to advertise for a benefit concert that will contribute to an organization. This organization however does projects that improves and cleans the environment.


Since I'm not good with words, do you guys have any suggestions? Thanks a lot

Thanks guys even if its not much it helps a lot

Answer 1

It seems that the thesis is to specific seeing as your WHOLE article will not be about the advertisement, as you've said you have some info about global warming and ways to become green....

how about........

The world will be a better place if its human inhabitants are guided toward becoming more environmentally concious.

the advertisement could be the method of banding the people together while the broadening of the thesis allows for other information besides advertisement to fit within the thesis's confinements.

Answer 2

I don't know the grade level your paper is for, so I'm unsure how substantial your evidence and citations need to be to support your thesis. However, it appears generally solid, although somewhat broad and ambiguous. Like, well, "Duh"
Advertising is used to sell products and the messages (in various media forms) should be tailored to attract the desirable market from each media audience, the ones you hope to reach are the people most likely to be influenced to buy your product. Are you selling the concert? If yes, your advertising can be targeted to people who listen to radio stations that regularly feature your concert's main act...and mentioning that the concert ticket proceeds go to an organization that helps the environment may further attract people who only sorta like the concert's lineup....the concert itself, then is an advertisement in a way, in that promoting the concert is equally akin to advertising a special project...kinda like Farm Aid and "We are the World."
Advertising can change global awareness, even ineffective advertising...you're creating influence through the use of media channels...but your results are never guaranteed. If the concert sells out, is that effective advertising? But what if the environment is further damaged despite the concert....does that mean the advertising wasn't effective? That reasoning kinda tells me your thesis is not a good one.
Maybe your thesis should be: "Global awareness can best be achieved by advertising when the products or services being advertised appeal to a mass audience."

Answer 3

Your thesis is supposed to be the main idea of your paper. Your thesis has nothing in it about the environment. Global awareness of what? Are you just trying to say that advertisining can make people aware of the globe? Also Try not to use passive verbs. "Is" is weak. And starting out with "If" is also rather weak. Try something more like-

"Effective use of advertising can promote global awareness of environmental issues."

Only you can change it a little to make it more specific to your subject.

Answer 4

Effective advertising promotes global awareness.

Answer 5

this might properly be a stable thesis assertion which you have written: Abigail Williams makes use of the Salem Witch Trials as a thank you to launch the resentment she has in direction of society. i might upload: Abigail Williams makes use of the Salem Witch Trials as a thank you to launch the resentment she has in direction of society by ability of (checklist reason one, reason 2, reason 3). checklist the justifications you will talk on your essay interior the order you will use them on your paper.

Answer 6

try finding a correlation between green companies and their profitability, say the greener the company, the better their profits are, that can be your hypothesis