We've only been married 1 1/2 years and he is self employed, and chooses to work at night and sleep during the day. when he's not working he stays out in the garage all night playing online poker, watching porns behind my back and doing drugs. I've asked him to come to sleep with me but he wont unless we have sex. I'd love to have sex, but I just wish he'd want to spend some time with me. Or at least come to bed with me every night. I don't understand why he lies about everything and continues to watch porn and keep a bottle of lotion by the computer instead of being with me????
2007-12-09 19:05:10 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
his heart isn't with u, he avoids u like a sore thumb, his behavior tells it all.
2007-12-09 22:55:15 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is selfish. He loves only one person and that is himself. How in the world can you be married to someone like that? Do you think so little of yourself that you don't think you can do better. And let him beat his meat. . .not being with you is his loss. . I know you care about him but there is no way he is going to change unless he really wants to. . I just had a thought, why don't you replace part of the lotion with some bengay. , muscle cream. I bet when his wiener gets hot from that, he might even think long and hard before he whacks it again. As far as the porn and the drugs goes, I don't know what to tell you to do, I would not stand for my man doing that. Tell him to either get help or you are history. I wish you all the best. It don't sound like you are very happy and I don't think you will ever be happy with someone as selfish and self centered as he is. . .
2007-12-10 00:19:37 · answer #2 · answered by lucylocket7258 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because guys are idiots. I went through THE EXACT SAME THING with my baby's dad when I was pregnant. He was hiding porn and lotion, he was calling 900 numbers for phone sex, and because I was pregnant i wanted to have sex all the time but he never did- his excuse was that he wasn't 16 anymore ( he was 24), he was also doing drugs and lying. A month or two after all this started he came home one morning at 10 am and left to go to work, after he had changed clothes- and I found used condoms in his pocket. So just give him enough rope and he'll hang himself- he's stupid like that.
2007-12-09 19:25:31 · answer #3 · answered by rshshly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My grandmother constantly instructed me in case you do no longer understand what to do, then do no longer something. for my area i think of you're conflicted because of the fact you go with your suited cookie cutter existence yet you go with the cake too by way of having the guy on the area. Your husband would not sound like a foul guy. He would not beat you. he's sturdy with money. He has a competent job and works complicated, and he did no longer cheat. might your husband even take you returned at this element? There at the instant are not any assure's which you're splendid approximately, yet i think of for the soundness of your infants's lives it would be superb in case you waited to locate some exhilaration on your existence till they have been older and moved out of the abode. What if this new guy would not artwork out? you in elementary terms delivered yet another guy into their lives and up-rooted each thing they understand and then it would not artwork...what do you do??? locate yet another guy and positioned them for the period of the full technique throughout returned? in case you weren't being selfish and putting your infants first you've by no skill cheated. Its one element to leave a guy because of the fact he's treating you badly its yet another to leave because of the fact he isn't paying interest to you. Your a mom and a spouse no longer a splash princess. come across a thank you to reconnect which comprise your husband and positioned your infants first.
2016-11-14 06:56:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to feel upset and confused about his behaviour. This is a big problem.
Ask him if he want this marriage to work, then it's needs to come from both sides. I definately think that this relationship could benefit from professional help, i.e. your pastor or a marriage counselor.
But don't give up, there is hope. I seen couples divorce, only to remarry each other again. Love him, but let him know that this behaviour is unacceptable.
There are many women who are in your position. You are not alone. This isn't as uncommon as people would have you believe. I'm sorry that you are going through this and pray that everything works out for the both of you.
2007-12-09 20:38:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you should be happy that he is not sleeping with you. Put a bed in the garage and let him stay there. Are you for real or are you trying to get a lot of responses to your question? You gotta know you sound like an idiot if you are worried about if this guy is sleeping with you when he is addicted to the computer, porno, and drugs. You need to leave the damn drugs alone too... Ok I am sorry, because if you are really that stupid you probably can't help it. (couldn't resist)
2007-12-09 19:22:15 · answer #6 · answered by James Q 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get out now. He is not doing drugs, drugs are doing him. He gets high, watches porn to get horny and get off, and plays poker to waste time. You are too young to live like this. Find someone that really loves you and wants to be with you. He will be just as happy by himself for years to come.
2007-12-09 19:18:52 · answer #7 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
its either he has some psychological problem or he just dont want to sellp with you. If i got married and my wife love to have sex i will have sex every night. How did you guys meet and got married anyway? Maybe there are certain things he does not like about you, maybe he was forced to marry you or etc and did you not know things he was into before you got married? well if you need help let me know hehehe
2007-12-11 11:56:51 · answer #8 · answered by johnny52172 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married men/matured men masturbate mainly for one reason unlike the adolescent. Men often find sex to be provocative. When one do not get excited to make love.. they just wanna ejaculate without feelings.
what i meant is, married/matured men watch porn and end up using their hands is because they are unable to satisfy their feeling of what is done in the tv screen in reality. They often find it difficult asking their partner to experiment. This could be due to the men's shyness or the women's unwillingness to understand their partners' need. Not all men just wants to get in between the legs and get it done and over with.
Now talking about the solutions...
either u can trying experimenting with him, make every night / love making session different. dun limit yourself to missionary or on the bed. U bought the whole house, make use of it( it takes only once to make him understand and realise)
or u can try understanding his needs by knowing what kinda porn he watches. ( of cos, if he is watching gayism... good luck to u)
2007-12-09 19:22:21 · answer #9 · answered by JAY 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Gosh...
porn,drugs, all-night computer games...it sure isn't the recipe for a successful marriage.
Maybe getting in touch with a marriage counsellor would help shed light on this...if he won't go, you go. You need to really understand what is happening from a professionals viewpoint.
2007-12-09 19:15:37 · answer #10 · answered by southwest 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You said hes doing drugs!! You cant expect anything from him. Why would you. Ppl who are addicted are in their own world. Sorry your just there in case he wants a beer or clean cloths. Your not happy there that's plain to see... Move on, things aren't going to change there for you. I'm sorry, and good luck.
2007-12-09 22:56:07 · answer #11 · answered by deerlady2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋