I am married and pregnant. My Husband and I split up about 6 months ago. This is our third child. ( I am due any day now.)
He has a girlfriend that he moved into our family home a few months ago and I have my own apartment. He has the kids most weekends, which means I have to see him every weekend. I still love him, and would love to be with him again but he is unwilling to give up his girlfriend. I have decided to be strong for myself and my kids and work my *** off to be able to give them a good life. My problem is that everytime I see him I want him back. I can't keep myself from getting weak in the knees for him. How am I supposed to get over him? I don't want a rebound, I want to be happy without a man, and live for me and my kids. Any advice?
2007-12-09 18:31:26 · 11 answers · asked by anyhoo085 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know its going to hurt for along time, and now that you are very much pregnant, your emotions are running high too, let him go though, he is not worth your time if he has left you when you are pregnant with his child. After you have the baby and get back into shape, go out when it is his turn to have the children, and have some fun. You will eventually find someone who will treat you like a queen, and except your children too, forget the loser, he is not worth your time.
2007-12-09 18:41:43 · answer #1 · answered by tiny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First make out a list of good and bad things about him - like the fact he left you while you were pregnant with his child and may very well have been cheating on you the other two times you were pregnant as well. Next I suspect that you may have to raise your self esteem. You have the children and you should have the family home and he should be living elsewhere Get an attorney - legal aid if you can't afford one - and get the house and child support from him. I will give you a site dealing with life choices and you should read the section about self esteem. a rebound relationship only happens when you try to find the same person you love in another man, but make friends, date eventually when the baby is born and old enough for a baby sitter and you may find the person you should have married instead and be much happier than you ever were with this jerk. any man who would leave a wife 3 months after finding ut she was pregnant is not a man at all and deserves no respect, let alone love. you can and will do better and if you want to be happy without a man, the one who convinces you to trust him and that he loves you enough to make you want to try again will be a far better man than this one and will give you much more happiness. Good Luck to you and I hope the baby is a bouncing baby girl! :)
2007-12-10 03:06:22 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The exact same thing happened to me and now I am happily married to a wonderful man that loves me and all of our kids more than anything. Let me tell you, you may think he is worth it, but he's not. If he did it once, he will do it again. That is what is so sweet about his "girlfriend", it is only a matter of time before he does it to her too. You sure don't need that for the rest of your life. I would avoid him until you can look at him and not want him back. Have someone else drop your kids off and pick them up from their father's house. You definately don't need him and he certainly doesn't deserve you. Find things you like to do with your kids and go do them. He obviouisly has no respect for you or for your kids, not only is he doing this to you, but look at the example he is setting for "his" kids. I say you are lucky and you just don't realize it yet. Please do NOT go back to him. In fact, if he says he wants to get back together, say okay, and then when he moves his girlfriend out, tell him, no...I changed my mind!
One more thing, the next man you meet: notice how he treats his mom, if he loves her, helps take care of her and is good to her, that's a man you want.
2007-12-10 02:56:41 · answer #3 · answered by Marta G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont have an answer for you but I too am going through the EXACT same thing. I was a newlywed last year, was 6 months pregnant when I found out my husband was cheating on me. We filed for divorce in September this year. It's been really hard for me becuase like you said, I still love him a lot. When he was served with the divorce papers the BIMBO was in MY home!! Very furious! Just this week he finally broke it off with her, something I never expected. You don't know how much I tried making sense of life for him. He refused and said he had feelings for her, was going to move in with her and marry her. It's been the worst experience of my life!!!! I dont know how religious you are but I have turned to my sister in law who is a big Christian. We went to a women's retreat together and that helped me A LOT!!!! I learned that GOD has a plan for each and everyone of us. This obstacle that you and I are going through are meant for us to learn from them. God has something waiting for us at the top of the mountain but we have to overcome these tuff obstacles of life. I know it's easier said than done. There are times I want to give up, but I remember all these things I learned ......
Please feel free to email me!
2007-12-10 02:57:50 · answer #4 · answered by Pocahontas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to dress up one day when you drop the kids off and look smokinnn. Yeah you are pregnant but you can look just as good as you did the day he met you.
Make him see that you are better than his girlfriend. make sure you act like you have no interest in him. It might not get him back..but it will make you feel a lot better! Good luck on your pregnancy! you sound like a very strong woman and mother!
2007-12-10 02:38:54 · answer #5 · answered by Shaye 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust that one day you will find a better man to be there for you, love you, care for you like no other. I promiss you this will happen. Just have faith. I know its hard cause of the baby, but after a while, it wont matter anymore.
Time is the true healer. Focus your attention on your baby and raising it the best you can.
2007-12-10 02:40:49 · answer #6 · answered by ★♥AJ♥★™ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can make a long trip in other country which might make your mood better. It is pity you lost love but love is not the whole contents of life. Try to think about bright future not the pale past. You belong to yourself and cann't be controled by others, you should believe in you and you can live a good life with your kids in future.
2007-12-10 02:47:55 · answer #7 · answered by windant 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just pray to God. He is the source of our strength, always there for us, and ready to help us no matter what.
If he loves you then he does'nt hurt you and he will broke-up with his girlfriend. Be strong. Concentrate and love your kids. I know time comes your children will undertstand you. If you talked about your feelings to your husband and still he live with his girlfriend then its time to move on. It hurts but you try to accept. Goodluck and Godbless...there's a right man for you out there.
2007-12-10 03:56:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Turn into a dyke for the time being ;) Sorry, I was just kidding....
I think you should sit with him and discuss in details that you are willing to forgive his extra curricular interests and he should not give up on the wonderful life you have together...
If he still doesn't care, I guess yu have to forget him.
And by the way, rebound is not that a bad idea.
2007-12-10 02:47:10 · answer #9 · answered by ihrobin 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Live for you,you are worth it , learn to love you ,until then do you really need anyone ? -NO you probably only want him because he does not want you , look how he treats you ,he will do the same to the new girl
2007-12-10 02:40:46 · answer #10 · answered by Jon K 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋