So I am 21 and away at school.
Today I get a call that my parents are splitting up.
I don't even feel like going home for christmas now, i was excited now i just feel weirded out. My dad did something outrageously jerkish to make my mom wanna leave him and now it makes me think differently of him because of what happened and that my younger sister was there to witness it and be traumatized.
Does any one have advice for this type of situation?? I know plenty of parents divorce or split up and its gonna be hard but i almost think its harder now that im older.
2007-12-09 18:12:05 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He tried sleeping with her sister in our house while my sister was within hearing distance. He was drunk but its still no excuse to expose my little sister to this.
2007-12-10 04:52:10 · update #1
When they have lasted that long, it is hard to accept, but many times that is exactly why it happens. They have stayed together only for the children's sake.
Your parents need to do what is best for them. You will not lose contact with them, but things will certainly change. In time you will be able to adjust to the situation.
Good Luck. You may need a bit of therapy to better deal with the situation. Try to find a counselor that will help you, if you feel that need.
2007-12-09 18:25:13 · answer #1 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What happened between your parents is between them not you. So your relationship with your dad shouldn't change. People can say what a person should or shouldn't have done, but unless your the one going through that situation at that time you can't or shouldn't hold him at fault. That's like picking between the two of your parents when really all you need to be is supportive of their decision and be positive for your younger sister.
2007-12-09 18:23:33 · answer #2 · answered by mrpuffandstuff 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait and see. Maybe your parents will reconcile. Your mom does need you at Christmas to be there and give her hugs, help her and try to keep things 'normal' (as possible). I'd speak up if it becomes clear that there are battles going on in front of you - verbal or otherwise - and say that you don't want them to even see each other around you if they can't try to be civil. It's a painful process, so painful that people try to make it work and get back together. So just hang in there. It may develop that your dad was a jerk but he is repentant. Good luck, dear!
2007-12-09 18:25:47 · answer #3 · answered by kathyw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go home and support your younger sister and let her support you. Leave the divorce stuff to your parents. It the holiday and they need to pull it together for the sake of the children. No matter what he will always be your dad and she will always be your mom. You have to make the best out of this. Don't ruin your holidays with their issues. If they focus on the issues then let them know you and your sister with be in the next room enjoying the holiday without them.
2007-12-09 22:10:45 · answer #4 · answered by Roxygirl71 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to my wife when she was about 23 or 24, and it does sound like it's harder when you're older. I'm not really sure on how to tell you how to handle it as she's still going through her troubles. All I can say is that if you are in a relationship with someone right now, don't take it out on that person! In fact, if you plan on getting married one day, make sure you get this whole thing straightened out with yourself emotionally before you walk down the isle!
good luck!
2007-12-09 18:20:43 · answer #5 · answered by qu1ck80 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My parents divorced when I was 20 and in college also. Honestly, I was upset at first, but realized that they are much better off apart. I get along with them great now (28 now) and their boyfriend/girlfriend. This year will be very hard for you, but you soon will move past it. Just have a forgiving heart and understand that they are adults and have to make decisions for what is best for them. I don't know what your dad did, but if he is sorry, then forgive him because he is your one and only dad. Good luck!
2007-12-09 18:25:14 · answer #6 · answered by forestbythesea 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
trust me i think it is harder as you get older i was 21 when my perants split and got a divorce iam now 24 and have really only just come to terms with it talking to a great counceller or a good friend helps lots good luck
2007-12-09 18:17:35 · answer #7 · answered by sez!!! 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What did he do?
2007-12-09 18:23:17 · answer #8 · answered by sparkling_apple 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋