the question is pretty much self explanatory. How do I go about this??? She had all the details that really scare me about this and now that I betraid her trust, she will hate me. WHAT WOULD YOUD????
2007-12-09 17:56:51 · 21 answers · asked by ★ Vaginal Discount ★ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I notised that a screen door was off the window a few nights a few months ago but I didnt think that it was anything. I guess now that she was going out the window???OR this perpadrator was coming in...SO I guess he is over 16 and his name is Bones.
2007-12-09 17:58:10 · update #1
I thougt she was a virgin
2007-12-09 17:58:54 · update #2
I dont want her to run away and no my doughter wont stop this
2007-12-09 17:59:52 · update #3
I am so sad
2007-12-09 18:05:51 · update #4
Okay, well, I'm gonna voice my opinions. Well, first of...to these people who are telling you that you "must be a terrible terrible person" or "you need help with your parenting skills". Whatever! People, **** happens, kids make mistakes and even if you talk to your child and let them know that you don't approve of certain behavior..if they wanna do it....they are gonna do it! There are very few young children that do EXACTLY as there parents say! And as far as you going through her stuff...as a mom....I think you have the RIGHT!! If you had any suspicions or was wondering what was "different" about her or going on...then, hey, we ARE the parents....remember?! I think for you it is a tough situation and I do agree with the girl that mentioned using the whole no pads/tampons way of bringing it up as the best way. You need to confront her, but you also need to let her know that you still love her, but you are disappointed. She needs to have her mother right now though. Who knows how it all happened. Maybe this boy was taking advantage of her? Maybe she's going in the wrong direction? Maybe it was mutual? We don't know the situation, but you need to learn it. She needs you to be able to be there for her no matter what and she definetly needs your trust. I wish you luck and hope that this works out for all of you in the best way it can.
2007-12-10 01:48:25 · answer #1 · answered by mom_of_two 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all,
SHE IS 13!!! THE ONLY RIGHTS SHE HAS IS WHAT YOU GIVE HER!!!!
Now, take her to the doctor to confirm this. If she is pregnant, you want the name of the father. THEN you take her to the father's parents and insure that they can support their new grandchild's medical bills and provide for the baby. If the new father says ANYTHING about it not being his, have his A** thrown in jail for statutory rape. Your daughter is a minor. She doesn't even have to testify. The medical records and a DNA test will confirm he had sex with your daughter. If does not matter if the sex was consentual at her age. The law states she is incapable of this type of consent. Either way, you need to make sure she knows Mom is concerned, there for her, and mad at the same time.
P.S. Aren't you the one that questions about your live in boyfriend that is a criminal getting ready to do the Big Nasty or something? Moving guys in and out is not the best thing for a 13 year old to see. Have your boyfriends but keep them away from your daughter until it is marriage time! Oopppsss, too late. Sorry.
Get the boy for support or statutory rape.
2007-12-10 03:09:15 · answer #2 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may not be pregnant, but then you can not be sure. I read the rest of what you put and if I were you I would get that Bones guy arrested because that is statutory rape if she is pregnant. He is too old for her. Have you ever heard the saying 15 will get you 20. If not I think you probably understand it. You will have to find out if she is pregnant and you should sit down and have a serious mother to daughter talk. Assure her that you are worried about her and you heard that she may be pregnant. You don't have to tell her that you read the diary. Don't yell at her, be as calm as you can be, if she starts yelling, calm her down and tell her that you just want to talk. Don't fight with her. Good Luck. God Bless.
2007-12-10 02:20:33 · answer #3 · answered by Doodle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront her anyways. You are her Mother and she needs you the most right now!!! Don't be vicious or mean when you approach her.
Tell her the truth that you read it in her diary. Apologize for snooping but tell her you are glad you did because she needs your help right now.
Let her know you are there to help her first. Deal with it calmly and collectively and then when all is said and done let her know how much her life would be changed by having a baby at that age.
Good Luck and God Bless!!!!
2007-12-10 09:14:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the mother....there are times that our children will HATE us....whether we like it or not we have to be the adult.
So you read it.....if you sit back and do nothing you are putting your daughters lively-hood in jeopardy. Its our jobs to protect them and raise them with morals, integrity and respect.
Take a deep breath...call your family doctor, make a appointment. Suggest having a physical (let the doctor know why you are making the appointment) and maybe just maybe she will open up to you before you get there.
Have the conversation you are now 13 and stepping into a maturity phase that warrants a physical......type thing.(if it turns out that she is not pregnant I would give the advise of when to have sex and because you know/or have read that she is active I would offer birth control and or condoms) Talking about her future without having a teen baby and living a life free of STD'S might also be important.
Being there for her is the first step....don't judge point fingers...however grounding her for life would be good...said with a smile.
What I am trying to say....what is done is done...you can only move forward.
best wishes and (((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
just my opinion and I truly think I would do this
2007-12-10 02:12:56 · answer #5 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
There is no getting around how you found out, but you do need to confront her right away. Part of being a parent is being a parent-there are going to be moments in her life (mainly teenage years) that she thinks you are horrible and mean, but that is part of being a parent. I would start by asking if there is anything she needs to tell you. Have you noticed maybe that around the time of the month that she normally gets her period, that there have been no tampons or pads in the trash/being used? If so, you can use that on why you are "suspicious" if it comes to you having to directly ask her. Seriously though-do it ASAP. You and her need to discuss options and her future and this boy "bones". And him and his parents should probably be notified as well.
2007-12-10 02:02:40 · answer #6 · answered by Jackie 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Take this from a parent that have just gone through hell to pull my child out. You can not be her friend and her parent. If she act out of line, go to the juvenile justice department and tell them that she is being unruly, find out who this bone person is and warn his parents and tell him if he does not stay away from your child, you will get him for '' contributing to the delinquent of a minor''. Oh yeah, in the state of NC. 16 year old that hang around younger kids after the parent ask them not to , can be charged with this crime. I am so glad I had the guy the pulled my son into running away from home, drinking, drugs and just acting like a devil's child, arrested. He was locked up twice for hanging around my son and giving him a place to stay when he ran. Now that me son, have gone threw disciplinary actions in the courts, camp ect... he act as if he is getting it together and the older guy that I had arrested is doing 11 years for break ins. That could have been my son, right along with him. You haven't betrayed her trust, you are looking out for her best interest. If she hate you now, she'll love you later. You best do something, it's already out of hands.
2007-12-10 02:15:15 · answer #7 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, well I would not mention that you read her diary. Snooping around their room and reading their diary is a betrayel for young girls. So, don't tell her you read her diary. Try sitting down with her one day and lead into the conversation telling her that "you love her and that no matter what you will love her." That there is nothing that could ever make you hate her. Ask her if there is something she needs to tell you? Tell her that she can tell you anything and you will not get mad at her. She is probably feeling regret and scared that you might hate her if she tells you. Try doing something like that. Take her shopping, spend mom and daughter time before you ask her. Good luck.
2007-12-10 02:06:25 · answer #8 · answered by Lilly 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Is there anyone eles in the family she is close to?? they might be able to help but in the end you have to tell her you no and she will have to see a doctor so talk to her tell her what needs to be done and ASK her what SHE wants to do its hard and takes time but in some ways you have to let them make up there own minds
by the way if you can get a hold of the boy cut his you no whats off I wanted to
2007-12-10 03:03:52 · answer #9 · answered by Myra N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call your daughters doctor, make an appointment (tell her they overlooked something at her last check up) they will do a blood test for pregnancy without her knowing.
If it comes back positive than you can in the office with the doctor delivering the news address this.
If it comes back negative, than your daughter is trying to see if you are trustworthy or snooping in her diary/stuff.
Either way the Dr's appointment will cover you and when you have a child who is putting themselves at risk you as a parent have the right to violate any privacy that they think they deserve because they have broken your trust.
Good luck!
2007-12-10 02:04:59 · answer #10 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋