I'm 17 and I think I'm ready to be a mom. I just recently found out. It has always been a dream of mine. My boyfriend wants to break up with me, so I think I'll use "preggers" as a way to make him stay with me, as he's a good catholic boy, he said if he ever knocked up a girl, for the sake of the baby, he would stay with her. With him by my side, we could be a happy family. He comes from a wealthy family. Do you think it's wrong?..
2007-12-09 17:49:54 · 38 answers · asked by Cherryberry 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Do you really want a man with you because your forcing him to be?
2007-12-09 17:54:42 · answer #1 · answered by Ash 5 · 10⤊ 1⤋
Being pregnant doesn't mean he'll stay with you, just because that's what he said. You wouldn't be a happy family if he stayed, he'd resent you, and why would you want to start a marriage based on a lie? And I'd hate to think about how someone would feel about a child that would essentially be "the trap"
Yes you are wrong. Just break up with him and wait until you find someone that WANTS you and to have a family with you.
(By the way "I just recently found out. And "always been a dream" sorta contradict each other)
2007-12-09 19:02:03 · answer #2 · answered by Zyggy 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The reason im gonna say i think its wrong is because you said that he wants to break up with you but he would stay with you for the sake of the baby, this would not lead to a happy family, i had my daughter at 17 and stayed with her father simply for her, i hated him and we aregued constantly because he knew he was only there for the child, as would you feel. For the 1st 9months of my babies life she heard nothing but arguments, this is no good for a baby. Once id threw him out and it was just me and her we had a much happier life, there were no arguments so i was happy leading to a happy child, no matter what any tells you raising a child alone doesn't have to be hard, your life is what you make it and you never know what is round the corner, my new partener had raised her as his own (she knows he is not 'daddy') and her real father has made no attempt at contacting her. A baby is not a good start to an already rocky relationship, i say get out of the relationship now and concentrate on you and your child. Good luck x
2007-12-09 21:52:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Happy family?!? Happy families start with two loving adults, not a girl who coerced and manipulated a boy into marrying her. And how would you be happy knowing he stayed because of the baby, not because he loves you. I'd let him leave, make his wealthy family foot the medical bills (after all, you are doing the rest) and then place the baby in a loving happy family who are unable to have children of their own. Then move on with your life, use your new experience to make better choices, and never look back at that good Catholic boy who knocked you up.
2007-12-10 09:59:42 · answer #4 · answered by KneeKnee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, of course not.
Of course you are ready at 17 to stop all studying and have a baby. Never mind that you're still a child yourself. Never mind that you have no money or an outlook on how life is going to be. If you feel you're ready, you should immediately make them.
No worries that you don't know the first thing about having babies - you want something cuddly, that means you have a god-given right to have babies! Don't worry what your boyfriend may think or what his plans for the future are!
Don't worry that you're putting a baby into the world because of your desires!
Only what you want is important!
And of course your marriage is going to work out. Don't worry your boyfriend is forced into being married. He will grow to love you, and he will never feel resentment.
2007-12-09 23:17:16 · answer #5 · answered by mgerben 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he isn't interested in you any more, I hope for his sake and yours and your child's that he'll be man enough to do what's right and leave you alone, while sending what money he is supposed to for child support.
By the way, no 17 year old is ready to be a mom. You should be getting ready to explore the world as you go off to college or at least out on your own, to find what interests you, and develop and follow your passions, the focus on which will lead to your success and your only chance for happiness in this world. How will you teach your kid to do that when you never did? Do you love yourself, the most important thing in the world? How will you teach your kid to love himself when you don't?
2007-12-09 18:16:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please do no longer permit persons make you perform a little-subject which you do no longer desire to do. you're old adequate to make this selection your self. that's gloomy to assert that maximum folk your age do no longer stay mutually perpetually. you're nonetheless so youthful and characteristic lots greater to journey in existence. you're the two nonetheless changing and could proceed to take action till into your early 1920s. i do no longer advise to be nasty or hurtful when I permit you comprehend this. you may actually the two be reliable mothers and dads to this toddler while not having married. i'm no longer against marriage the two. If afterward down the line you the two nonetheless see this as an selection and are nonetheless in love with one yet another then do so. yet you do no longer and should no longer be pushed into getting married at this point of the game. you ought to think of roughly your toddler and placed that ultimate on your innovations. Please wait. With the very maximum suitable desires to you.
2016-11-15 03:02:44 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!! You will ultimatley end up un-happy. I have 2 girlfriends who got married b/c they were pregnant.
The first friend of mine was 21 when she got pregnant. He didn't want to get married, but their familes kind of guilted them into doing it. Things were ok for the first year, but now they are both miserable. He has cheated on her several times, and she has cheated on him several times. They have a 2nd child and it just keeps getting worse. They are currently seperated and for the sake of the children, I hope they get divorced.
My 2nd friend was also 21 when she got pregnant by the guy she was with. They got married...shotgun wedding. This year would have been their 5 year anniversary...but they filed for divorce instead.
I have never known a baby to keep a relationship together.....unless its a strong loving relationship, that has prepared emotionally for a baby....it can tear 2 people apart.
2007-12-10 06:19:14 · answer #8 · answered by Mandy25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is really the father of your baby then he should marry you, but if he is not and your marrying him because his family is well off then it's wrong. Let's think about this as marriage is for life, it's not something to be entered into lightly. Marriage is a bond between two who are really in love. Do so with caution and thought. Being pregnant is not a true reason to get married.
2007-12-09 20:37:03 · answer #9 · answered by Georgia Preacher 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, this sounds like a joke. But if you are serious, I think it's wonderful you are happy about the pregnancy and not considering abortion. But marriage should have come first. I hope you will learn a lesson from this in that sex should be reserved for marriage alone. Inside marriage it is sacred and wonderful, outside, it is lust and quite disgusting.
He's obviously NOT a "good Catholic boy" because if he was, he wouldn't be having sex outside of marriage. Tell him you're pregnant and decide together what to do. But don't tell him he needs to marry you because you're pregnant. You want a husband who really loves you, not one who is going to be miserable because he felt trapped.
Take care of that baby and keep praying for guidance.
2007-12-09 19:00:08 · answer #10 · answered by oremus_fratres 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is and it's stupid. Maybe the guy doesn't want to be a father. Does he even know your pregnant? If he doesn't then you should tell him. He has a right to make his own decisions. That's a stupid reason to get married. Marriages that are only for kids never last. You'll probably be divorced within 1 year of marriage. I feel sorry for the baby and for the boy.
2007-12-10 04:23:38 · answer #11 · answered by wolfkarew 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋