Please, listen to me....give me your honest opinion?

Question

Hi everybody. I am a teenager who is looking forward into working in a field of bussiness. I want to do accounting and hopefully be one of those high class people. Three years ago when I was thirteen, I made the dumbest mistake. I was really immature and all and was lookiing for love in the wrong places. One time at night when I was walking to school this guy stop and convince me to talk to him until the point that I gave him my phone #. Two weeks later witthout me knowing him at all, meaning I knew nothing about him, I had sex with him, and I feel extremely sad and depress after I did that You don't imagine. My school now talks about sex more and relationships and I feel like I just want to die. Well, somebody told me that if you are not a virgin, it would not be good to marry a smart and intelligent person. Also many guys says today that they prefer to marry virgins. I really won't like to marry a dumb and a low class person because of many reasons. I really wont' like to tell my future husband that I am not a virgin. I was thinking of getting the hymen repair surgery, but at the same time I don’t want to lie to him. And I really don’t want to tell him the truth either. If I would pick one of those two, telling him the truth or doing the surgery, I would pick the surgery. What do you suggest? Do you have a better suggestion? Please help me I beg.

Answer 1

I'm 15, but I might be able to help you.
In this day and age saving yourself is hard. There are girls in my grade that aren't virgens. Now a days sex is common before marriage and chances are he may have done it too. You can get the surgery if you're afraid of losing him over it. But if he loves you he won't care about what you did in the past. He should understand the conditions of todays world. He will support you and love you and he will learn to over come that flaw.
I'm planning to save myself until the night of my wedding. You may have been to but sometimes things don't happen as we plan. Sometimes we do things that we regret. We shouldn't suffer our entire life over it. So think about it, is he the over reacting type? If he's had a bunch of girl friends he himself may not be a virgen. Talk to him generally. Like "Oh, what were you like before you met me?"
"Have you ever done anything that you regret?"
"What kind of woman did you picture your self with. An out going social person who has had relations in the past. Or have you preferd the conservitive type, who's mellow and quiet and doesn't take the bull by the horns."
If he doesn't accept you for who you are then he doesn't deserve you. If he can't forgive and forget something that happened before him then he'll never be able to let go of anything. I hope I helped.

Answer 2

Isn't it odd that all brides are supposed to be virgins, but all grooms are supposed to be experienced? I don't know who told you that non-virgins cannot marry intelligent people. There is no point penalizing you further for an old mistake. I would not bother with hymen repair surgery. Unless you marry a obstetrician, he will probably not notice.

If you ever get serious about a fellow who is himself a virgin, you may have to tell him, if it seems important to him. Anybody who would reject you just because you are no longer a virgin doesn't deserve you.

Answer 3

Perhaps 'somebody' told you wrong. While it is nice to offer your virginity to your husband, it is not all that common in our society. (Guys want you to be a virgin AND to really know your way around a bed.)

First, decide on the type of relationship that you want to have with your future husband. If the relationship that you want is based upon false impressions and deception, get the surgery and lie that you are a virgin. If you seek a relationship that is based upon trust, you must be trustworthy. It's not that hard to figure out what to do.