what do you think of a dad like this?

Question

- refuses to have anything to do with poops and pees (and diapers in general).
- avoids doing anything that might pose a risk (like bath as he might drown baby, picking up/carrying baby as baby may fall, etc)
- at nighttime feeding, wakes up only to bark when mom fails to keep baby quiet, thus disrupting his otherwise peaceful slumber.
- vows never to touch or do anything with baby until there's no more risk (until he's no longer liable for any damage happens to baby, or until baby can take care of itself) or until baby can play or watch football.
- as baby breastfeeds, then all feedings and feeding-related activities are mom's responsibility.
- agrees to watch baby sometimes, as long as he can do it while sitting in front of his computer or tv.
- when asked to hold baby for a while, threatens to shake baby.
- expects mom to cook, clean, and put baby to sleep as quick as possible so that they can have some intimacy and perhaps make more babies.

Answer 1

I think in my house he would be a dead dad

Answer 2

PLEASE DON'T MAKE ANY MORE BABIES WITH HIM!!

He doesn't sound interested at all in the first baby that he's created. He doesn't sound like he cares about the mother's feelings if he doesn't do his share of the work taking care of the baby. Not all men will change diapers but he should be helping out by holding the baby when mom is busy, washing bottles, drying the baby after mom bathes the baby... you know? I'm sure there is something that he can do to help. He shouldn't be watching TV unless mom is able to relax too.

This dad needs to get more involved or there will be serious trouble. Mom won't be happy sitting at home with the baby while he goes out with his friends all the time and Mom never gets to leave the house. Choose your child's best interests first over this man. If the man wants you to neglect the baby to make him happy, get rid of the man fast.

Threatening to shake the baby isn't funny. I would get rid of this guy fast. He is not mature enough to be a dad.

He sounds like a SELFISH A-hole.

Answer 3

So, he won't hold the baby or take care of the baby due to risk of hurting the baby but threatens to hurt the baby by shaking it? Let him know that he'll go to prison and be eaten alive by the other prisoners if he chooses to shake the baby and hurt it.

Answer 4

Sounds like your 16 and a little immature. If I knew you I would phone SC&S and expect your child to be put on the Child Protection register.

If I was your other half, I'd have kicked you out long ago.

Sort yourself out sharpish as your kids are the best thing ever in your life! Don't waste time on being a losser

Answer 5

It actually sounds like the way a teenage big brother to the baby would act - aside from being intimate with the mother of course, that would be weird.-

If it really were the way a dad is acting, I would step up to the plate before he lost it all. It sounds like it would be easier for the woman to be a single mother than have to worry about/run after that loser!

Answer 6

I think there a lot of fathers out there, just like yours. Such people are scared of responsibility. I think what your father needs is counseling. You can ask your mother to take your father to a family counselor, but prepare the doctor beforehand.
( If your father won't agree to visit a counselor,even paediatricians can help them )
Such situations are not impossible to change so don't you worry. You will be surprised to know that many fathers are firstly jealous of the attention the baby gets.

Ask your mother to make your father feel that the baby is a part of him and that they are lucky to have a family.
Make him feel that the baby loves being with him more than any one.
You can also suggest your parents to surf sites TOGETHER on baby care as there are a lot of good sites that help such parents. (since you've mentioned that he loves to sit on the comp)
Don't develop hard feelings towards your dad. You are a family so try to understand each other. There are 2 faces to a coin remember?

Once he gets that sense of belonging in him and realizes how much trouble your mother takes for the baby, he'll be fine. You'll be surprised to see a change in him.

As a child you can send him cute Anne Geddes greeting cards and "best dad" or "thank you dad" type of cards out of the blue, telling him that you wanna be like him or something sweet. (its just a way to make him feel more dad like.)

First link is for "fatherhood". The second link is the type of cards I'm talking about.

Answer 7

Sounds better than my dad anyway. He left when I was 1 and never saw me again until I was 3, then he saw me again when I was 7, then at 15, then 17, and then the last time I saw him was when I was 22. It's been over 3 years since then.

Answer 8

I think he is an idiot, and any man who threatened to shake my baby would be shown the door before i murdered him, and a man who treats a women with such disrespect is an absolute disgrace and i think anyone who puts up with this needs a serious reality check do you not realise you are setting your child an example of it is ok to treat people like crap as they will just stick around for more for the sake of you and your child get rid of him

Answer 9

I think that is not much of a dad. Sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. What would happen if mom should become seriously ill and unable to watch the baby? It would just sit in a filthy diaper and starve?? Sounds like this "man" never had to do anything for himself and he is used to everyone else doing the work.

My condolences to his wife and child(ren).

Answer 10

You are using the word DAD very loosely here.
This person is not a DAD by any manner of means.
He may have brought a child into the world but is no DAD.

Answer 11

This selfish little man is NOT a father nor a husband worth having around.
He needs a fire lit under his bum so he'll get up and help. BUT he still seems like a jerk regardless and I wouldn't want him or his attitude around my children.