I hate going to family gatherings as the only bf mom of the 3 new moms what can i do?

Question

I mean technically i can not go I know that. But i want my baby to be sociable and be okay with a bunch of people around. But at 6 months old people are frowning upon her still brestfeeding. i know its recommended until 1 yr but you cant reason with know it alls who say "i think all babies should be weaned by 4 months" "breastmilk has more fat than formula thats why the babies are so fat look at her legs" "by now breastmilk is too light for her she needs something more heavy" it gets freaking annoying i mean what did babies do before formula? NURSE! They were appalled when I told them babies nurse past 1 year old and this can be...gasp...normal. 2 yrs old was ridiculous for them. Should I just stop going altogether? I am tired of defending a good choice for both me and baby its aggravating and draining. I need to give them all books to educate themselves this xmas. Its like it doesnt matter what I say with most people laughing at me that i nurse more often than they must formula feed

Answer 1

i say continue to stand your ground. be firm but polite. if you stop going to family stuff it may be taken the wrong way.

good luck. i have a thick headed family as well.

Answer 2

First of all, my second was always very skinny, missed baby rolls. Babies are babies he would have been skinny breast or bottle. My third has the baby rolls. They were/are breast fed. What I would do is simpy ask them not to bring it up. Say look, we aren't going to change one anothers minds, I've never said anything to you negatively about the fact you didn't choose to pass immunities to your child through breastfeeding, lets just not bring it up. Or something to that effect. Let them know that many people who breastfed could make them feel uncomfortable if they were the only bottle mommy. Congrats on bf so long, I breastfed my second 22 mo and am breastfeeding my third. He's two months. Why do people make such a big deal one way or the other? It's a personal choice between that mommy and baby period. Women should support one another either way. Good luck, sorry you have to deal with that.

Answer 3

You should go once more. And when you are there and someone makes one of their inapropriate comments you tell them to either shut the f*** up or to expect to not see you or the baby again. It has no use to reason with people like that. And the thing that is important is not to convince them that what you are doing is right,( this, I fear you will not manage), but to make clear to them that they leave you alone and keep their stupid remarks to themselves. You are the one raising YOUR child and it is none of their business whether you breastfeed or not. If you choose to breastfeed your 3 year old it would still be none of their business. You have to make that totally clear to them. Sorry , if that is a bit drastical but I'm in a similar situation right now and it really p***** me off that some relatives think they have the right to comment and mock with my parenting choices, especially when they are clearly wrong.
Although , as we live in different countries, I have it only over the phone where I can just hang up whenever it gets too much..

Answer 4

You aren't going to change their minds so you might as well save your breath. I started hearing those things around the time my son was 4 months and continued to nurse him until he was 28 months old. That included through a pregnancy and you should have heard the crap I got about nursing while pregnant. Just keep your head up and ignore them. Keep going to things and keep nursing. If they mention you nursing change the subject...quickly. Even if it's completely obvious what you are doing, just change the subject. Good for you for doing what is best for your baby. It's not weird to nurse a two year old either. Good luck!

Answer 5

Obviously this group is more draining on you than helping. Isn't that what these groups are supposed to do? Help and support? I say find a different one that actually helps and supports. Your child will find other children to interact with on her own time, even if you don't go to regular play dates/ mommy groups. Trust me, there are other kids and mommies out there. Get rid of the drain, you need all your strength for your child, not other mommies who should be the most understanding and supportive of anyone.

Answer 6

breastfeeding is great for the baby and I think 6 months is to young to stop. I breastfed my daughter until she was 18 months old. when she turned one I would pump into a bottle then I would put it in a sippy cup for her to have with her food, and I did that until she was 18 months old. Don't worry what they think. Your doing a great thing for your baby and that makes you a great mom that you care so much that you want to keep doing it. I say ignore them they are wrong and have pride that your doing something great for your child.

Answer 7

I don't think you should stop going. People are always going to have their opinions. But guess what?? This is your child. Like you said you can breastfeed up until she is 2 if you want too. Do not let them intimidate you. Someone told me once " He who makes you mad, has control." You go to the famil, gathering and feed her like you would do any other day. Just merely state she is healthy. Do not feed into them by debating on what is healthy for YOUR child. OR you can pump before you go. The choice is yours. I just would not let them get to me.

Answer 8

Heck yes! GO!!! I hear this all the time from my parents- our baby is 16 months and nursing. You know what else??? She has not been sick yet. She has never had formula and I work full-time- it's all good stuff. They don't see that. They see "societal norms". In my honest opinion: what is best for my baby has precious little to do with "societal norms". So, go, and hopefully you will educate a few of them.

Good luck to you!

Answer 9

Oh, hon. Don't worry about it. I'm still breastfeeding my 13 month old, and I get some weird looks from people. The best thing to do is remember: you're doing the absolute best thing for your little one. It's such an awesome gift!

I would continue to go. Show them that you're not ashamed to be doing the RIGHT thing for your baby!

Answer 10

Stand your ground sweetheart! Theres no reason your family should be pushing you around about this. I agree, you need to buy them something to educate them about breastfeeding. If they don't like YOUR decision about YOUR child, then just tell them to back off. Be firm but polite. Your partner should be behind you on this! you can socialize your baby elsewhere if you have too.

Answer 11

go to the family gatherings let them tell you all their crap- them tell them ( i wasn't very nice about it) that you'll do what's best for your child according to your judgement and the advice of your baby's dr. i've just been going through the same bullsh- with my family- after this all but my great aunt left me alone and she shut up quickly when I told her to show me her medical degree... and the best part later you can chalk up being a little brash to new mom syndrome... at 6 months you're still getting the hang of things... the number one thing is to do what you feel in your heart and gut is the right thing for you n your baby. you shouldn't have to stay away from family, but if that's what makes things run smoother for you right now then doit- they'll quickly realize to stay quiet or miss out on one of the best parts of a family- new members...