My eyes are dry yet tears are falling,
People say I'm dreaming-
then why am I bawling?
I get to a point to where I can't take it
"WHY?", I ask myself, "WHY?" can't I just leave?!-
I can it's my choice.
i kinda wrote it
2007-12-09 14:34:31 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
ok what about-
my eyes are dry yet tears are falling, people say I'm dreaming yet why am I bawling?-
I get to a point whre I can't take it anymore,
"Why", I ask myself, "Why" don't I run through that door?-
I DID!? is that better?
2007-12-09 15:06:45 · update #1
when I said "I kinda wrote it" I meant like in a shy way, like "Well what do you think I worte it myself" see?
2007-12-09 15:08:50 · update #2
okay listen her you witch you don't have to be so f***ing rude you *****
2007-12-11 09:40:49 · update #3
Most who come here with a piece ask the same Q, no offense.
It sounds extremely personal to you, and LIKE might not be exactly accurate.
It is a bit vague or simplistic, but expressing feelings should never strictly be "judged" It reads as if it's coming from some relationship issue.
I'm more confused by your last statement however. "I kinda wrote it"???
2007-12-09 15:05:01 · answer #1 · answered by DIY Doc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not getting best answer for this one...
There's no depth to the poem. The speaker might be crying (and I say might because her eyes are dry, remember? so is it someone else that's crying?), but we have no idea why, so it's hard to tell if we should sympathize, or just scorn her as silly - because the instant revelation she has of an obvious fact is something that is a bit silly!
When it feels like the tears dried up in a half-second, it doesn't feel like they were very real.
In the future, try to think of what you're going to get a reader to feel, and how you'll do it.
2007-12-10 01:04:10 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly?
It sounds like something personal
so It may be hard for us to understand what it means.
Makes me (the reader) feel like you wrote this when you felt it.
Witch could be about anything really.
Also Don't take critics to the heart
and don't stop writing.
:)
2007-12-10 02:49:22 · answer #3 · answered by Wicked Aliens 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r good! u should enter this writing contest its where u email ur work to the submission staff at submityourwork@live.com then if they like it they will post it on their website: submityourwork.spruz.com and they also have monthly contests and if they think ur eligible they will give u feedbak and stuff its really cool u should try it!!!!!
2007-12-09 23:06:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like the poem, I don't know if you will actually take this answer because im only 13 but I like your poem.
2007-12-09 22:42:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, well um, its kinda out too far like you know what i mean?
I can its my choice? Nothing interesting?
keep writing i know you will imporve!!
good for starters, if you are one..?
scarlet<3
2007-12-09 23:00:25 · answer #6 · answered by Gemma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It makes perfect sense! Publish it!
2007-12-09 23:20:46 · answer #7 · answered by Яɑɩɳɓɵw 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋