I REALLY do. I have been married for 3 years, but have not been happy for the last 2. I really want to make this work, but it seems like a dead end, and everytime I try it blows up in my face. Husband says he wants to make it work, but he doesn't really try. Maybe I shouldn't say that....he may try for about 1 week, and it will be great for that week...the he will just go back. And believe me, Im not a saint myself, I have a temper, Im spoiled, but I have NEVER EVER lied to him, which is something that I get a lot. Could someone please tell me some steps that may help in saving my marriage and maybe turning us BOTH into something that the other will love, and what we can not change, learn how to live with it. I know marriage is hard and NOT in any way easy....but, it can't always be like this. Any help is appreciated...thanks...=)
2007-12-09 13:10:05 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have a great marriage...worth bragging about it really.
I think these things are key to keeping it this way:
1) Live and follow the Golden Rule. Do onto others as you would have done unto you.
2) Never start sentences with the word "You...".
3) Remember that you are both making compromises, all of the time.
4) When you feel angry and upset, think about why you got married in the first place.
5) Share experiences; volunteer together, travel together...
6) RESPECT each other.
7) Be best friends.
7.5) Cook for him.
8) have sex a few times a week. 4+...
9) Pick your battles.
10) be honest.
Hope this helps...I think the Golden Rule kind of applies to all of these things. I live by it in my marriage and friendships; always worked for me.
all my best.
2007-12-09 13:52:42 · answer #1 · answered by MYFP2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-19 09:07:51 · answer #2 · answered by Martin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might want to look into some marriage counseling. Without knowing what the specific problems in your relationship are it's hard to tell you a different first step. Counseling could be with a counselor or minister (if your religious). Being one who has been in difficult times during my 10 yrs I found a few things that help in my relationship: 1-open up and be honest about feelings, despite how they might hurt. 2-try seeing things from each others p.o.v. 3- I pray, alot. #3 might not work for you and I understand, it takes some of the control out of your hands and that's scary at times. Ultimately you cannot save your marriage alone, he has to want to resolve his issues also and want to make long term changes. It's like tangoing, it takes two.
2007-12-09 13:22:13 · answer #3 · answered by The Duke 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a book called "The Five Languages of Love" that I think could help. It talks about how every person has a primary love language and you have to know yours and your partner's. Also, he gives examples of how it has saved marriages in real life. I read lots of books on different things and I really bought into this book more than most others on similar topics. I encourage you to try it. And good luck with everything. I hope you are able to make it work and not sacrifice your happiness.
2007-12-09 13:16:26 · answer #4 · answered by KC 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
One of the most common questions spouses ask when confronting a marriage crisis is this: How can I save my marriage if my partner doesn't want to help find a solution? How do I succeed I am trying to save my marriage on my own? Learn here https://bitly.im/aMmrd It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains 'in love', the other is uncertain. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving his or her marriage' alone.
2016-05-18 07:25:51 · answer #5 · answered by Diane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it takes both of you to work this marriage out. And I think you can start by doing simple everyday things together. For example, you can go shopping or marketing together, go see a movie together, go for exercise or jog together at the park or beach, the list is endless. The idea is to do things together and maybe from there, you can re-kindle your love for each other again. It may not happen just overnight but give it time like a few months and see what happens. If one of you fall behind, try to encourage and show care and concern for the other. I hope this works for you. Good luck.
2007-12-09 13:22:37 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps counseling will help but if you have been unhappy for he last two years, a lot of work will have to be done to save the marriage if it is possible. I will give you a link to a site which may help dealing with life choices and you may ge some help thjere also. Good Luck to you!
2007-12-09 13:17:26 · answer #7 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Speaking to a counselor can help you save your marriage. Also, getting over that hump of tension that you both feel is key. Setting aside a night for you two to enjoy each other can be helpful as well.
2007-12-09 13:19:40 · answer #8 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counseling. If you're open-minded going into it, it is VERY beneficial.
If you're both willing to acknowledge your faults and truly work on them, your marriage can be saved.
2007-12-09 13:13:42 · answer #9 · answered by cas 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Try to see marriage counseler. Also, talk to your husband to find out why he reverts back to his old self. Explain to him that you are unhappy with his behavior. Ask him if there is anything that you are doing to irritate him or causes him to misbehave.
Communication is key.
2007-12-09 13:26:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋