but he says he'll call the cops and they will not let me take her. I know it'll be an ugly scence if i try to go and i don't want her to see that or be a part of that. Is it illegal for me to leave with her?
2007-12-09 11:24:53 · 18 answers · asked by dlh1402 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have to echo the other respondents and say contact a lawyer. A father has rights, but no more rights than you do. Since he is using the threat of calling the police if you leave, this indicates to me that he is manipulative at the very least. It is NOT illegal for you to leave with your daughter since she is your child. He can fight for custody. If you leave and do not take your daughter with you, you will need to fight for custody. The parent fighting for custody has a tough battle.
2007-12-09 11:43:19 · answer #1 · answered by C J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Cops in most areas, will be all on your side at first, than it will flip in court!!
But the results of running away, will cause lots of problems, on everyone! So slow down!!
First go see a marriage councilor than a lawyer. Not the other way around!!
PS
Males have just as much rights, love and responsibility to kids. This means he can get shard custody without ever being married, especially if he has been living with all of you.
Get the whole family in consoling. Work things out to stay or leave very slowly!!! BUT ONLY if no one is in any danger. If things are good, than and only than everyone should take their time and effort to plan out a consoling and separation at some point. Moreover try some dating around on line NOW! The GRASS is not green anywhere, So, you both should want to work it out! Few can not make things workout in the end! It is the best thing for everyone, especially the rest of the families. But you all must live and maintain a healthy and supportive environment even if you separate, for the KID!! GET IT!!!!
So, first contact a console than a lawyer. Got it!
2007-12-10 06:55:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it is not illegal for you to take her unless there is already a court order granting him custody, if no one has filed any paperwork then you can just pickup and leave, but be smart don't leave when he is around and the first thing you should do is file paper work before you leave, take your daughter with you and don't let him see her until you have custody in writing as he can take her and not return her so that is were you are at, talk to an attorney and get custody papers filed, the cops will not make her stay with him but they wont make her go with you either, so leave when he isnt around, and your little girl dosen't need to see that anyway try to keep her out of it as much as possible, if he is abusive then you may not be able to keep her off the stand but if he is not and is a good dad than she needs her dad too, the only reason you should keep her from him is for this short time until you can get a tempory custody order, or if he is abusive
2007-12-09 11:51:03 · answer #3 · answered by Dale T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not illegal for you to leave. I was in a similar situation and know alot about this. The only thing that can prevent this is a court order that establishes primary physical custody of your minor child. Bear in mind that he can take the child and leave also and there is nothing you can do about it. The police will not arrest for kidnapping because there is no court order. If you are going to leave you need to do it as soon as possible and then take some legal action like file for childsupport if you still need or want him to support the minor child. I will be more than happy to chat with you about this if you need more advice. I have knowledge about this because i actually went through it. There are other things you can do to protect yourself just depends more on the specific aspects of your situation.
2007-12-09 11:42:31 · answer #4 · answered by REALADY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check your state laws. Babies born out of marriage sometimes need a test to determine paternity (especially if you deny he's the father) It may be he currently has no rights. Better yet, be calm and leave when he's gone. That will spare your child the scene that's likely to occur. You can always come back with a cop to get your things. Then let him take you to court. (Get a lawyer if you go to court)
2007-12-09 11:39:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the family lawwyer's advice but have to add if you can not afford an attorney check with legal aide. If you are leaving because he is abusive in any way, you can also contact a local domestic violence shelter for help there. He sounds like he may be pretty contolling and that also is or can be domestic violence. Good Luck to you.
2007-12-09 12:00:35 · answer #6 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definately need a lawyer or at the very least some legal advise. One thing in his favor is that the child has been in the same home with him since birth and that could have some effect on custody.
2007-12-09 11:34:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Illegal, no, since you aren't married, however if you have any type of custody agreement in the local courts - it could be a factor in what could happen if you do take her - so read your papers carefully - if you never established anythig in a court, then it's fine - but bear in mind - he IS her father - and although you have the right to leave, what you DON'T have the right to do is to keep him from having a relationship with her.
Feel free to move, but you must ensure that he gets to see and spend time, even overnights with the child. You might not be happy with him anymore, but that hos nothing to do with his parental relationship.
2007-12-09 11:31:14 · answer #8 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is irrelevant when it comes to paternity. If his name is on the child's birth certificate as the father, that means legally he has just at many rights to the child as you do. Unfortunately, he's right in saying that he will call the police if you leave with the child... in order for you to be able to leave with her legally, you'll have to have full or majority custody granted to you by the courts. Good luck with your situation. With regard to whatever you decide to do, please put the child's best interest at the forefront.
2007-12-09 11:35:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sympathies.
My heart is with you ALL THE WAY!
But...just remember, she is 8 YEARS, not 8 MONTHS....
O how i wish i had taken that step when my X kidnapped mine at 11 months and 2 yrs.....I would have LEFT then!...his reason for kidnapping them? (He thought I WAS LEAVING HIM and going to take them away...)
The judge ordered him to give them back immediatley...but its 8 years later, and i STILL live in fear that one day...he will do it again! Please dont put your little girl through this! She needs BOTH her parents..!!
When they are THIS age, they are just too old and will be forever emotionally harmed if you do that to her now.
2007-12-09 11:40:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋