Before I met my husband, I had a fling with some guy who I know is really good at sex. I know he is a player but I have to admit the sex was really good. Question... I have had some difficult problems with my husband and I´m separated at the moment, strongly thinking about a divorce. Misteriously I get an email from this guy I had the previous fling with and has asked me to meet up with him. I know what it will lead to. I´m just so unsure about the whole situation. I need help determining whether it is right to do this(meet up with him ) or just stick to my vows and worked it out. I´ve never been unfaithful and never thought about it or even doubted before this time. Please help me figuring this one out.
2007-12-09 11:20:52 · 20 answers · asked by jaaaam 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Without knowing what kind of marital problems you're having, I would suggest working things out with your husband. You are still married by law, and should not even be entertaining have sex with a fling if you're considering working things out with your husband. You already know the right answer, hopefully you'll do the right thing. Good luck.
2007-12-09 11:29:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What an opportunist this guy is!
He's a player, you know it, why would you let yourself be used like that?
You must give your marriage every chance. To sabotage it beyond all hope at this early stage of the separation, just for a bit of good sex, would be very sad indeed.
Regardless of whether you ultimately get divorced or not, I don't think you'd be at all proud of yourself for meeting up with this guy for a meaningless fling.
Have some respect for your marriage, even while it's on shaky ground. Don't do irreparable damage. And have some respect for yourself too. If you know that meeting up with him is not just about reconnecting with a friend, and is certain to lead to a sexual encounter, then stay away, however tempted you feel. You'll regret it later.
Good luck to you - I really hope you can get your marriage back on track. Invest the time and energy into your husband - not some guy who you know you mean nothing to anyway.
2007-12-09 11:47:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep your virtue!!!!!!!!!!!! At all costs!! Believe me, I understand about good, hot loving relations!! BUT they are not everhything. You gotta look in the mirror at yourself everyday and love yourself. You should not be weak and succumb to adultery if you can help it. Now, sin is sin, but I think a little fornication is better than a little adultery anyday-you took vows before god. Just think, if you get back with your husband and work it out, you will not be able to know in your heart that you have kept your integrity. Evil is present at all hands just waiting for opportunities like this. My husband cut up sideways and soon as the door slammed behind him, I got a phonecall from a guy i used to have the hottest steamy sex with wondering how my marriage was going, and if my husband had "broken bad" yet? He went on to say that whenever he did, I should be sure to call him. Don;t get caught up, whats important to your sense of self in that you persevere. Good luck!!! P.S. If this player is still out there, he will b e good for emergencies after your divorce!!!
2007-12-09 11:37:46 · answer #3 · answered by quienbee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The LAST thing you need to do right now is to further complicate what is already a rather complicated situation!
Finish one relationship before you start another.
The "great sex" will always be out there whether it's with your former fling or your current spouse.
You start this question by saying you're married which means you made vows. They should count for something!
Good luck working things out!
2007-12-09 11:37:13 · answer #4 · answered by pat z 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what you want to do. You have to live with yourself, nobody else does. If you are unhappy at home then go see this sex maniac. If you want to stay married and work it out then you know you should not see the guy right? You are trying to justify seeing the sex dude. You are the only one who knows what is going on and how you feel about everything. It is a chance that your husband will find out and that will ruin any chance of fixing your marriage. Is that a chance you want to take? Sex is not the only thing in life. Far from it. You should really think about what you do. You are going to do what you want to do anyway no matter what any of us say.
2007-12-09 11:47:57 · answer #5 · answered by Fergy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depending on what caused your separation depends on what you should do! If you separation is because of something HE did then go right ahead and have a 'good time' with this old fling (he obviously liked the first time with you as well), but if you were to blame for the separation and are still trying to reconcile then I wouldn't go near the 'fling dude'.
Remember you DID make your vows, but because you haven't said WHY you are separated then nobody really knows if it is O.K. to meet this dude!
YOUR CALL!
2007-12-09 11:40:12 · answer #6 · answered by Badass 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Easy. Remember its not having what you want,but wanting what you have. You have enough troubles with your marriage already so why add to them. Dont let a moment of grandeur ruin the rest of your life. The affair isnt worth the results and allthe regrets you will live with afterwards. try every effort to save your marriage and if all fails and divorce is inevitable,then worry about this other guy but not til then because he wont worry about you once he gets what he wants. Good luck and Happy Holidays
2007-12-09 11:31:07 · answer #7 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not a good idea to go to this guy. You are still married. You should probably try to reconcile with your husband. If there is no hope, wait till you're divorced. although, I would highly suggest going to a marriage counselor with your husband. Or you could go to a sex therapist as well. They work wonders! You fall in love all over again
2007-12-09 11:28:26 · answer #8 · answered by deathneedslove 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are still married, so you would be cheating. Cheating never helps the relationship. Work on your marriage, not on a date with a player. If your marriage doesn't work out, at least you can say you tried, then go have sex with the player all you want. Although, I still wouldn't recommend it...
2007-12-09 11:38:58 · answer #9 · answered by Student Doctor House 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you've never been unfaithful don't start now wait till your relationship is fully over before you start this fling up again that way you will have a clear conscious.
2007-12-09 11:28:52 · answer #10 · answered by Sexy Red 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋