firstly I would like to clear the fact that i did not allow the relationship with my friends husband to go anywhere when he made a move.
My friends husband and i work together and and had to travel interstate for the week. While we were there we went out to dinner etc as friends. then at the end of dinner as we were returning to our rooms (seperate rooms) he decided to kiss me on the lips. I did not kiss him back but instead stood back looking very confussed. He apologised to me and said he just had to do it( before you ask neither one of us were under the influeance)
I am friends with his wife and have no idea if i should tell her or keep it to myself. Her husband swears he has never done that before and wont do it again, basically begging me not to say anything.
My friend has 2 children to this man and i dont want to destroy the marriage but if i keep quite and he ends out doing it again to her i would feel guilty for not warning her
Should i tell her? and if so what should i say
2007-12-09 10:59:48 · 33 answers · asked by april 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Chances are that if your friend really loves her husband, she won't believe that he made the move on you (you don't say if you are married or not) - but that you instigated it.
Don't tell her. My advice, be there for your friend. If he tries it on someone else and your friend finds out, she is going to need all the support she can get.
2007-12-09 12:54:00 · answer #1 · answered by Kelly A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tricky and delicate situation.
You'll have to weigh the consequences both ways!
I'm sure this guy is a cheater; and your friend may or may not know about this. The fact he crossed boundaries with you has put you in a very stressful position, and I think he's either very stupid, very insensitive, very manipulative--- or thinks he's irresistible.
Whatever his motives, what he did is clearly wrong..not only because he intends to cheat on his wife; but also because he hit on you, HER FRIEND.
I'd say be very careful and avoid all contact with him. Never see him alone and never accept any kind of contact that is not work-related.
I would even consider asking you to think about commenting to your husband that you've heard office rumors that this guy is a player; so if things explode in the future (when he cheats with someone else) your husband won't be too surprised.
Good luck.
2007-12-09 12:31:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough situation but, if you tell her it may ruin your friendship, but i think it has to be done. Whatever happens you would have done the right thing, at least you would have tried. He would probably do it again to someone else and when she finds out she'll feel bad about getting mad at you if she would. Then you guys can be friends again. When you tell her you should tell her in a way that won't be so tough on her. You can write her a letter... explaining everything so she doesn't have to assume anything. Let her read it privately, so if she is sad and cries she won't have to feel stupid and embarrassed in front of people, but maybe it would be better for you to be there so you can comfort her. I dont know, but good luck
2007-12-09 11:08:51 · answer #3 · answered by tuyet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 2c is to advise you to say nothing.
The most likely outcome is that you will be the one to be targetted. In these situations, it is always the messenger that gets it first.
First, it could be explained as impulsive, especially if nothing else has happened.
Secondly your friend may not thank you for unsetting her view of her domestic bliss.
Third, if he is an ********, he will tell her that it was you who tried it and that you are trying to take him away, but he resisted.
Fourth, is that it could kill your job. Sadly, in some workplaces, philandering blokes are seen as okay and guess what.
If he does anything unfaithful in the future, then you will not be responsible. He will be fully responsible, end of story.
2007-12-09 11:59:19 · answer #4 · answered by Terryc 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't say anything just yet. If it was just a "weak Moment", then it's not worth ruining the Entire Family. Plus, things would be tense for you at work since you work with him. Now if he ever does it again, then you should tell her. I'd want to know if I was the wife. Keep an eye on him ! good Luck !!
2007-12-09 11:09:20 · answer #5 · answered by casper 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This guy's got some stones, but I know you women just can't resist destroying a good relationship with flirty actions and compulsory gossip. I hope he's a good spindoctor, and a senior in the company.
2007-12-09 11:13:04 · answer #6 · answered by zelgadiss 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you tell her, you will lose her as a friend. Not maybe......you will lose her. Which is more important to you? Her company as a friend or her marriage? If he has tried this with you, he has tried it with others. Allow them to be the messengers if you must save her from him. Play whatever role you like in orchestrating his demise but don't tell her this. If you do, you will not be her friend. You will be the constant reminder of what she learned. You know this to be true. You've seen it.
2007-12-09 11:12:04 · answer #7 · answered by noshaymatall 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he tried it with you he surely tried it with others. The part about ratting him out is another matter. She may have her head in the clouds but You should not blow up her world by being blunt. Perhaps saying You saw him making a pass at someone could do more than involving yourself as the other woman. Letting her know the watch him closer is one thing but putting your friendship on the line is another. In her mind She may end up blaming You for what happened.
2007-12-09 11:05:59 · answer #8 · answered by hardnose 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Yes tell her! She'll probably get mad at you to though. My friends brother in law made a pass at her,and her sister got mad at her. That was her first reaction. She eventually came to her senses ,and placed the blame when it belonged...with her husband!
2007-12-09 20:05:54 · answer #9 · answered by ariel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her! let her know how her husband is cheating on her. She has the right to know..
If you don't after a while when she notice every thing you ganna lose your friendship with her.
Don't let her down and tell her the truth..
2007-12-09 11:07:35 · answer #10 · answered by 1Motion 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋