My girlfriend of 2 years isn't ready to get married anytime in the near future (5 yrs.) Since the beginning of our relationship, I have prepared myself to get married. I am 30 and she is 28. What should I do? I love her but 5 years it too long to wait on someone that I feel isn't sure about me.
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2007-12-09 10:05:17 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She sounds like she isn't 100% sure marriage is what she wants right now. Maybe she takes it very seriously and looks at it as a lifelong commitment, so she's really giving it some thought first. That's good. Because you want someone who is 100% sure she wants to marry you, right?
So, if you think she really is THE ONE, give her some more time. Maybe not 5 years (life's too short for that), but maybe just a little more time.
2007-12-09 10:14:00 · answer #1 · answered by kathleenjohnson 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, would you be OK with just living together? You should ask her if it is just the idea of being married that scares her, or if she is unsure about her feelings for you. If she is just scared of the marriage word, then don't bug her about it or bring it up again unless she does. If you push her about it, even if it is done in a joking manner, it will only make her apprehension worse. Chances are that eventually, she will get over it, as long as you don't push.
If she is unsure about her feelings for you, then you need to make a decision. In two years, you both should already know each other well enough to be able to answer if there is a future for you as a couple. It is a tough decision either way. If you give it time, she may soon develope the feelings for you that you want her to have. Tthen again, you shouldn't waste unnecessary time with her if it isn't likely to happen. And if she can't say that she is in love with you after two years of dating each other, I'd say your chances are slim.
You should also question your own desires to get married. You don't want to get married just for marriage's sake. You want to marry someone whom you truly love, and it is equally important that she loves you the same way. If either of these two conditions are not met, your marriage is doomed from the beginning.
Five years is not too much time if things work out. One month longer is too much time if they don't. Only youu can make that call. But if you are happy with her, and she with you, it might be worth it to be more patient.
El Chistoso
2007-12-09 10:20:43 · answer #2 · answered by elchistoso69 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A person knows if they want to marry someone or not and waiting 5 years will not change the way she feels now. A long engagement won't change it either. I would recommend that you and her settle your relationship and move on, it's obvious by what you have written that you are ready to settle down with that special someone and share your life. Go out there, find her, marry her, but quit waiting for this one to make up her mind!
2007-12-09 10:12:10 · answer #3 · answered by Donnertagskind 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were 19 or 20 I would say to wait. But, I think 30ish people, who have known each other a full two years, ought to both have a clear understanding of the relationship and what they want. I believe that if she really felt certain of her love for you, that she would agree to marry very soon. What to do?
You can break up and hope she realizes what she lost, but be prepared to stick to your guns if she doesn't come around.
2007-12-09 10:20:43 · answer #4 · answered by 13th Floor 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be ready to move on if she doesn't want to get married. Tell her that you want to be married in the next year, and that you can't wait any longer. Be prepared to walk away if you have to .
2007-12-09 10:10:13 · answer #5 · answered by prairieprincess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She might feel this way for a number of reasons. Frst of being that sh ereally just isn't ready. She might feel that you are pushing her into this, even though you might not mean to. She also might be taking her ques from you. why should she marry someone that is not willing to honor her wishesm wants and needs NOW? I wouldn't
2007-12-09 10:10:07 · answer #6 · answered by Brandi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't push! If you love her just take the time you have and live! She may decide 5 years is too long too.
2007-12-09 10:16:27 · answer #7 · answered by Grandma 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married??? ride the roller coaster with no ticket. You got the free ride and your complaining? If it doesn't work out good thing you didn't....if it does last 5 yrs thats good too.
2007-12-09 10:10:30 · answer #8 · answered by cotton3860 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats too long to wait.She should not make you wait that long if she loves you.Its time to go on with your life and find that mrs.right.If she truely loved you,she would say yes and if she wanted to wait a little make it a long engagment like a few month.But to wait 5 years thats just wrong.I don't see any love on her part.Go find love somewhere else.
2007-12-09 10:11:05 · answer #9 · answered by faithfulangelhun 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I have a feeling she may the best thing that happened in your life or else you wouldn't be here asking this. S...........wait dude!!! All good things are worth waiting for! Trust me!
2007-12-11 01:33:46 · answer #10 · answered by Mdosi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋