I have a friend that isn't afraid to answer questions, but has a major problem with trust. So I am trying to figure out a question that will give him a little courage to open up about himself, make him think of the future (we have talked about getting together), and goes along with the "what if" format." So my question is can anybody please give me an idea of what question I can ask him that would make him think of the above criteria, but requires a bit of thinking and not just a yes or no answer?
2007-12-09 09:31:42 · 16 answers · asked by picc0999 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
not future of him and me together...like goals and things like that.
2007-12-09 09:43:24 · update #1
also it's some what of a dare. He asked me a question and I am still working on an answer. Now I am returning a question, but so far he has had tons of answers for them all. Something to stimulate the brain is good.
2007-12-09 09:50:26 · update #2
'What if you could see into the future, but for only a short time period. Who, other than yourself, would you want to see in the future and why?'
2007-12-09 09:46:25 · answer #1 · answered by Bob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are naturally reticent to talk about themselves. In other words, they are very private people. If his problem is trust, then something must have happened to him to produce those feelings. Maybe he is not ready to answer questions that are personal, or that invade his trust. Therefore, you might stick to questions of a general nature that don't reflect on him personally, such as politics, history, marriage (general, not relating to your relationship), the community you live in, sports, movies -- that's a good one, and so is books. And remember to be a good listener when he finally does open up. If he doesn't, then if you like him and want to keep his friendship, you'll just have to accept him the way he is. Good luck!
2007-12-09 17:38:55 · answer #2 · answered by gldjns 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What if you could of done what you wanted to, and it turned out alright?
That's an example. Some people are very unsure of the future. What if he opened up a restaurant, for example? It could go down, but what if it did incredibly well as well? In this point of view don't allow him to think of just negative aspects, make sure he thinks of the good points as well.
2007-12-09 17:35:24 · answer #3 · answered by winds_of_justice 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is why women are perceived as manipulative. So, you want to talk about the future, huh, because you have talked about getting together. WHatif format puts him on defensive, because, just like you, how the heck should he know ?
Abandon your current line of thinking. Instead of saying What If. . .. why don't you try saying "In the next 1 or two years, I would like to _____ (fill in blank). Do you think I could do that?"
Get rid of the heavy questions. Partners will come to you when they want to talk heavy stuff.
2007-12-09 17:40:14 · answer #4 · answered by weallwannaknow 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Next time he uses the "What-If", Tell him "If What-If Was A Fifth, We Would All Be Drunk"., and also tell him to be a Man!, and quit trying to cower-out of answering questions, Otherwise sweety, you need to find someone else, regardless of how-much he means to you. you can still be friends, But remember, he's the one who is blowing it by acting that way. Good-luck hun. God-Bless, And Take Care. 1st Sgt., 7th Special Forces, (Ret.) Vietnam 67-70
2007-12-09 17:39:33 · answer #5 · answered by KatVic 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask him "What if I never existed, how would that make you feel?". I say "existed", because if you said "never met", he'd probably say he'd be ignorant of your presence and therefore wouldn't care, but if you never existed I'm pretty sure he'd feel some absence in his life. If he doesn't start blabbing about how much you mean in his life, he clearly trust no one. Which is all good.
2007-12-09 17:52:16 · answer #6 · answered by God Gundam the Heaviest Gangster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
huh?
erm what if the world was going to explode and there was only 1 way to saftey which was a rocket to blast off the earth and find a new planet. there is only 6 places on this, and you are in charge of who goes on it and who is left to die....you take up one of the 6 spaces, and have to choose 5 more people to take with you. hwo would you take?
2007-12-09 17:39:26 · answer #7 · answered by ☆♥..Kt South☆ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
when guys say "I dont like to play head games"...this is what he's talking about.
He doesnt need "courage" to open up about himself.
He needs time...and the right person.
f you are the right person, you will simply give him time.
Time= no limit of time...even if its 30 years from now.
Your question to him may as well be: Will you be dumping me today for playing head games, or will it be later?
2007-12-09 17:38:20 · answer #8 · answered by parrothead 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How about
What do you consider the 10 most fundamental foundations of a successful marriage?
2007-12-09 17:35:52 · answer #9 · answered by Canuck1 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
how come you dont open up to anyone else?
Why are you so shy ?
Ask questions, not answers.
Ask him all of those 3, hopefully you will get something other than a shrug. Good Luck !
2007-12-09 17:35:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋