she wants her mom to be in the room with us but i told her that i will feel wierd about it. do all women really have there mothers in the delivery room with them?
2007-12-09 08:01:11 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I definately don't want mine. And I can definately see why you want to share this special moment with just her. But, since she's the one giving birth, I would not push her on this decision. She's going to be the one in pain, and she wants a woman who understands that pain to be with her. I've heard of a lot of women that do. Personally I think it should just be the parents of the baby, but not everyone agrees with that, and really, the person having the baby gets to make the choice. Sorry.
2007-12-09 08:08:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is expecting her first baby in 3 weeks time and she asked me to be with her at the birth right from the very start - her choice (even though I have had four children I do not know how I am going to cope!) and thankfully her partner is happy for this arrangement. I will of course support her as only a mum knows how, but I can also see your point of view. As a solution I suggest that your wife's mum takes part in all of the labour until the final stage - the 'pushing out' then quietly leave the room - this is a very special time for mum, dad and baby and if you feel it will be wrong to have your mother-in-law there then you should voice your opinions. I think all three of you should have a long talk about this long before the birth - very best wishes to you all xxx
2007-12-09 08:40:41 · answer #2 · answered by gregoryr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on the woman's relationship with her mom. My mom was in the delivery room with two of my three (the third was an emergency c-section and they would only let my husband in). I have a very good relationship with my mom and I trust her expertise. She was a midwife's assistant for a few years so I know she knew all the technical stuff that the doctors and nurses talked about that we couldn't understand. I also know many women who wouldn't think of having their mom in the delivery room because they are very overbearing, annoying or just can't stand seeing their child in pain. My husband fought with me about having my mom in the delivery room with our third and I guess he got his wish because of the c-section!
With all that being said, it really is up to her because she is the one giving birth. If there is a problem with you and her mother being in the same room than she probably shouldn't want both of you in there together but it doesn't sound like that is the case. It does become all about the woman giving birth in the delivery room so you may not even notice with all the nurses that come and go and everything that goes on. The focus is on your wife and making her comfortable so you may need to succumb to her wants and deal with having her mom in the room too. I know that may not be the answer you wanted but it's the best I can do for you.
2007-12-09 08:14:43 · answer #3 · answered by jujube 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can ask her, but you might not like the answer. Explain to her why you want it to be just the two of you. That you have always pictured sharing that special moment together, not with others. Maybe suggest her mom be in the room until it is time to push. And who knows....You might WANT her mom to be there during the delivery! It might make your job easier and all of the attention the "never touch me again, it's your fault I have to go through this", and other labor induced rantswon't be focused on just you!!
2007-12-09 08:26:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is perfectly fine for you to ask but then you need to honor her answer. Personally I wanted no one but my husband - and the doctor of course :-)
Some women feel "the more the merrier" I have even been a participant in some of those very full birth experiences. Some women are very close to their moms and need them there at this time.
My mom is suffering from Alzheimer's now and I treasure every special memory I have had with her. Don't rob your wife of one of those. You will have plenty of time alone in the middle of the nights with her and your sweet, new baby.
2007-12-09 08:12:22 · answer #5 · answered by giraffegal 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It should really be your wife's choice.
But I've got to ask...is this a US trend, or just a very new one? My youngest kid is 8, and at the time in the UK, if the baby's dad was going to be present at the birth, nobody even considered having other family members there. You could, of course, but the only person I know who had her mum there was estranged from the baby's dad and didn't have him there to support her.
I would have felt extremely weird about it. I wouldn't have wanted any family member except my husband there.
2007-12-09 08:56:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that's perfectly OK to ask your wife.
She may not agree, but if you feel strongly that you want it to be just you two, then you guys definitely need to have that discussion.
We have only ever had just us two in the delivery room...and it'll be that way whenever #3 decides to make his grand entrance...we feel that it's a special private time between us as a couple, bringing our new child in to the world...and having the extended family there just isn't part of the picture for us.
You need to explain your reasons for feeling this way, and you need to hear hers...and hopefully you'll be able to come to a compromise together. :)
2007-12-09 08:11:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I had my Mum with me both times and she will be with me for the next one. I can tell you now that I personally wouldnt have been able to cope without my Mum being there to support me. She knew what it's like being in labor and was able know what I needed throughout without me having to tell her.
With this next one I will have my Mum, my friend and my hubby. He really doesnt care who will be there as long as he is.
No matter who is there in the room, it will still be a magical moment for you and your wife. But if she feels she needs the support of her Mother, than that really is her decision as she is the one giving birth and needs all the support and comfort she can get.
2007-12-09 09:06:14 · answer #8 · answered by Monkey Magic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If having her mom in the room will make her more comfortable then it's in your best interest to just let her be there.
My mom was several states away when I was in labor, and I wanted her there at the time. My husband is great and he was very supportive, but it would have been nice to have someone there who understood what I was going through.
2007-12-09 08:10:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
i don't know anyone who's had their mmom with them though many women do. my mom didn't want to be there anyway. you have to remember, you may feel weird about it but your wife is the one going through labor. if having her mom will make her more comfortable then that's the way it should be. who knows, she may change her mind the closed she gets to delivery. also, you can ask you mil for a few minutes alone with your wife during delivery. i'm sure she'll understand.
2007-12-09 08:14:25 · answer #10 · answered by racer 51 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋