My husband and i are expecting our first children, twins, in january/february. His parents are comming from 1000 miles away. his dad is staying for three days, driving back, hubby said he was going to drive back with him and leave me while i am still in the hospital or the first night home. I think that is wrong. His mom is staying about 2 weeks. by the time she leaves she wants me to travel about 1 1/2 hours to have a baby shower with her family, (she would not give the addresses to the hostess of my shower because she wanted to have one fo herself). I will be recovering from c-section and trying to get the hang of breastfeeding twins, dont like that idea either, I just want to stay close to home especially because it is flu and RSV season. Hubby is mad cus i said i would see if i was up to it, and he said it is fine i can just take the boys without you and give them a bottle, which can cause nipple confusion, he just laughed. THat made me mad too. am i unreasonable?
2007-12-09 06:49:40 · 10 answers · asked by oes 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
he also seems to care more about his parents being first time granparents then me becomming a first time mommy. Because when i say I would like them to wait a week before they come out or i just want it to be him and i the first few days home, he says well they are their first grandchildren. THat mkes me mad too I feel like he thinks this time is more important for them than me.
2007-12-09 06:52:25 · update #1
I forgot to add, my husband will be just getting home from deployment when i give birth.
2007-12-09 07:16:10 · update #2
No, I don't think you're being unreasonable about any of that.
I think you should voice your concerns to your doctor. I bet he or she will share your concerns, and be willing to take the fall for any flack you get. I bet your in-laws will respond better to "the doctor said no way" than to your preferences.
And it would be a cold day in hell before I would let anyone, including DH, take my newborns 100 miles away without me.
2007-12-09 07:06:17 · answer #1 · answered by GranolaMom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How rude! Of all of them! Having a baby is a big deal by itself. But you are having a C-section AND with twins. They cannot expect you to want to go anywhere that soon. They are all being way too inconsiderate. You really need to sit down and talk to your husband. I'm sure your doctor would advise you to take it easy for a few weeks as well, so have him/her talk to your husband. The baby shower can wait if your MIL is so set on having one at her place. She'll just have to be patient. And your husband should not be going anywhere those first few days, especially when you're still in the hospital.
2007-12-09 06:55:00 · answer #2 · answered by N and A's Momma 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I dont think your being unreasonable at all.... Child birth is a very exhasting thing to go thru whether it be c section or vaginally.... And gettin the hang of havin a lil baby around can be a bit stressful at times.... But when you first come home from the hospital its nice to have people there to help so that way mommy can get some rest.... On the other hand men dont seem to understand how difficult it is for us women to go thru child birth i guess they think we were made to handle it regardless. and we are but its still not easy
2007-12-09 06:59:58 · answer #3 · answered by moon_shadow420 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No men underestimate how being a new parent really affects the new mother. You have all these new responsibilities and worries. It seems as if no one else cares. I say stay at home and try to have someone close to you come out and help while your husband is gone and your mother in law is there so there wont be too much bickering going on....
Good Luck!!
2007-12-09 06:55:49 · answer #4 · answered by ablockgurl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO NOT AT ALL!! YOU CANT DRIVE ALL THAT WAY RECOVERING FROM A C SECTION "IT FEELS LIKE YOU HAVE GOTTEN RUN OVER BY A TRUCK" CAR BUMPS HURT SO BAD YOU WILL BE IN SO MUCH PAIN FOR THE RIDE .AND YOU SHOULD STAY HOME THE DOC TELLS YOU TO STAY HOME WITH THE BABIES FOR 2 WEEKS ,OH AND YOUR HUSBAND LEAVING WHAT IS THAT MY HUSBAND IS NOT PERFECT BY ANY STRETCH BUT HE WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME WHILE I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL! DON'T LET HIM DO IT BRING ON THE WATER WORKS TELL HIM YOU DON'T WANT HIM 2 GO BELIEVE ME GRANDMA IS NICE TO HAVE AROUND BUT YOU REALLY WILL NEED DAD!!!!!!
2007-12-09 07:02:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with you ... my wifes parents came down on her "due" week and to me it was just completely ANNOYING !!!
and then when the baby was actually born we had to lie to them to keep them out of the delivery room,then the mil kept wanting to hold the baby do she could "bond" wiith her "grandson" ....... I felt like you didn't raise your daughter to live in a "family atmosphere" for the past 40 years don't come around here now wanting to be "grandma" ......
I HATED all of the people coming by the hospital that NEVER have come to our home ......
I feel it is a private moment to be shared between a husband and wife ....... unfortunatley there doesn't seem to be very many true marriages now adays anyway .......
2007-12-09 07:17:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and the babies are number one. You are only asking what anybody would ask. His parents sound kind of controlling actually. It should be you and him and the babies alone for the first month or so. His mom shouldn't stay there either. Two weeks, Hell no. You need the time and you can't be entertaining them.
2007-12-09 07:28:04 · answer #7 · answered by johN p. aka-Hey you. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahh i feel really sorry for you, if i were in your shoes id go barmy. I think you`ve got enough on your plate without your in-laws and hubby making things difficult. Id tell them all to get stuffed personally. It really makes me wonder what goes on in peoples heads. I'm expecting my first baby on January the 18th and to be honest i think i might just lock myself away with my baby for the first couple of weeks as i don't want my mother in law anywhere near me as she irritates me now, only god knows what ill be like once the baby`s born!! I honestly don't think your being unreasonable in the slightest if anything your being extremely tolerant with all of them.
2007-12-09 07:23:25 · answer #8 · answered by JD 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will probably be glad to get rid of the husband for a few days after having a baby but your mum shouod know better. You need time to relax get over the labour and bond with your baby. Tell them all to bugger off and enjoy you babe in peace!!!
2007-12-09 06:53:36 · answer #9 · answered by Danielle R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
these people shouldn't be putting you in this position, it is OK to be selfish at this time (although its not selfish) a c section is major surgery and you need to be concentrating on getting well and getting used to having two babies. your husband is out of order and shouldn't be leaving you at all. it would be better for you not to have all these people around you anyway as your going to be very tired and will need your space
2007-12-09 07:00:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋