Is perfectionism bad? honestly, is it?

Question

i am a serious perfectionist. i have no idea why..but if i cant do what I'm doing perfect, i get reaalllyyy upset.

I am rarely happy with what i do....because it isn't perfect, it's not good enough.

Of course, I'm a good student, but I'm always afraid i'm going to suddenly fail something...or even get a 'B' on something. A 'B 'is NOT good enough to get into any college, i think.


Is this really bad??

Answer 1

Please listen. I am a terrible casualty of perfectionism. You must try and tackle this as early as possible. Few of those who are not true perfectionists can understand how difficult it is.

I've had it my entire life, and I am a confident person from a loving home so contrary to popular belief, perfectionism is not necessarily caused by snide, hurtful or wounding comments, or some devastating childhood blow to the ego. Some people have the tendencies naturally.
When i was little, it was seen as a funny character trait. Later, it served me very well in schoolwork and exams etc... However, it was already starting to fester;a problem unchecked...I was having other seemingly unrelated problems, but I now know their source. Then, I started college (My A's got me a tough-entry degree at a prestigious university) the perfectionism found another outlet, and manifested itself into full blown OCD relating to the way I looked, in other words Body Dysmorphic Disorder. A funny little character trait had become a real mental disorder that ruled my life. My grades plummeted due to my obsession, and I was desperately unhappy trying to reach the sky high standards i set myself. My friends had no idea. And then the depression started....so I dropped out. I went to a safe-house (my home,where my family is) and became a bit of a hermit for a few months. I am now trying to work out ways to live with imperfection, as its the only way one can live and be happy in this horribly imperfect world.

Happiness is the only, and i mean only, thing that matters in this life. If you are sad, and if it is because you are falling short of impossibly high standards, then you owe it to yourself to change. Talk to someone you trust and feel utterly comfortable with, explain what you feel is wrong with how you deal with stuff. Perfectionism will always be there, its a matter of finding ways to harness it, not let it control you and most importantly, not let it drag you and your life down in a cloud of inadequacy.

Perfectionists are tunnel-visioned, seeing only the light at the very end, and every point before that as dark. I guess its just a case of, without sounding too sappy, letting the light fill the tunnel, so we can enjoy the whole ride..

Answer 2

I don't know because I'm a perfectionist myself. If I do something, it has to be perfect, or I'm not doing it.

I don't think it's entirely a bad thing because it really helps me (maybe even you) strive for the best. I do get good marks and I am often the top student in my class. If I didn't have that perfectionist in me, I don't think I would do as good.

However, when it becomes obsessive, it's bad. I do catch myself sometimes redoing stuff over and over again because it's not perfect enough. That's a little extreme, so I try to stray from that.

Other than that, if you aren't obsessive about it, and continue doing good, it's nothing bad!

Answer 3

I have the same thing and mine has even morphed into Body Dysmorphic Disorder. It can certainly get in your way of having a fulfilling life, due to all the constant stressing over needing things to be perfect. Usually it onset began when somebody in your past really drove it home to you that you had to do better than you were and maybe they embarrassed you and/or made fun of you or withheld praise or even love from you as a result. Now you have it ingrained within you that you have to be the best to be "good enough" to be loved and/or appreciated and/or accepted. I have been working on not being so hard on myself and unlearning these negative thoughts. When I first discovered that I was a perfectionist I was shocked because I though being a "perfectionist" mean you were perfect and I knew I wasn't perfect. LOL Anyway, good luck to you as I know how difficult it is to deal with this disorder. (See below for more about Body Dysmorphic Disorder.) P.S. Just realizing that it isn't necessary to be perfect can help you to calm your tendencies. Remember, you have to love yourself first in order to love others.

Answer 4

It's ok to work hard for something, but perfectionism can be bad if you get too self critical, never happy with the results, or the hard work you put in.
There has to be some kind of balance.
If you can accept your failings when times get rough, than perfecting yourself is great.
Only being happy when things are perfect is a bit like someone that only loves you when times are good but dumps when times are bad!

Try to treat yourself as you would treat a friend, or someone precious to you, have fun, work hard!
Relax.
Good luck!

Answer 5

If perfectionism is preventing you from being happy with what you do in your life, then yes! It is bad. I'll elaborate.

Perfectionism is only good when you have naturally high expectations for yourself. You set high goals and work hard to achieve them, which can help you go really far in life.

It's bad because if you're setting goals you can't possibly achieve 100% of the time, it upsets you. If you are rarely happy with anything you do, you can't be expected to live a happy life, no matter how far in the world you go.

That being said, I'd recommend seeing a school counselor. I know high schoolers HATE to go see counselors, but trust me. They go to school for years to learn how to help kids with all sorts of problems and they help.

If you aren't able to do as well as you want it might be because you have some time-management issues. Your couselor can point you in the right direction and show you how to manage your time more correctly.

I would ask your counselor if she could look up information about Obsessive Cumpulsive Disorder (OCD) for you. Many people who call themselves "perfectionists" actually can suffer from this disorder and never know it. It can be different for everybody, and for perfectionists the one thing they're obssessed about is themselves and their performance as school, work, or otherwise. I know, because my formor college roommate was a lot like you and just got diagnosed with OCD this year. It's worth checking out.

Hope I helped a bit.

Answer 6

perfection is not bad into a certain point. A human can only do so much when it becomes to perfect. I love to be perfect but i have learn i cant do every thing perfect all the time. The thing with about being perfect it that you become obsess with it and then you start to let it effect you when you do something not perfect and there is where the problem relies. Just remember we are only humans try your best and that's all that matters if you did your best and it wasn't perfect then you know you try but don't become obsess with being perfect when you know at times is impossible no matter how hard you try!
=]

Answer 7

For school and work this is excellent.. Can you handle doing this much for your education and work... Now try to take it easy at home.. No one wants to hear about the streak of pee that you had to scrub off of the outside of the toilet. No one wants anyone to nag them just because you are the a1 housekeeper. Go easy on people at home and yourself.. If you need certain things spiffy clean good for you but keep it to yourself. I won't climb into a bath tub that has a ring around it not hairs falling here and there. But eventually I realized no one really cares but me. But it is required to be perfect in school and in work because if you were a surgeon you can not afford to make errors. If you are a bookkeeper they want you to be accurate. if you are a factory rat. They still want a perfect product. So just educate yourself and realize it is time to make priority's. There is nothing wrong with being less than perfect around the house let your hair down and take a break.. Best wishes.

Answer 8

Perfectionism is not the problem. The real problem is PRIDE. You need to be humble enough to admit there are things at which you will fail and fail miserably...and then be OK with it. YOUR pride will cause you to be miserable in that you will never be satisified with anything you do. You need to accept your weaknesses and learn from them, take your strengths and know there are those stronger than you, and that is OK. We all have strengths and weaknesses. You might start by allowing some things to be not quite perfect to remind you to not be prideful in a world where lust for greatness, power and money is the ruin of all mankind.

Answer 9

Yes. Let things get messy. Don't clean your room for a while. Get use to having things in life that are not perfect. Nothing in life is "perfect". So trying to make life perfect can be exhausting and pointless. It also slows you down so you can't move on to more important things in life. So STOP! You will be amazed at how bad you can get away with doing things and it will be good enough! Hope this helps. :)

Answer 10

Defined as you have, yes, it is.

But there is nothing wrong with striving for excellence. You cannot achieve perfection in all things. Learn to live with what you are good at and pay someone else to do the others.

For instance, you may be a great musician, but not a great writer. Write the music and collaborate on the lyrics.