Im 14 and pregnant by my 18 yearold boyfriend and my father wants us to get married. Can we get married? How and what will we have to do . in connecticut...by da way
2007-12-09 06:05:09 · 18 answers · asked by First L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
listen im not here 2 hear ppl tak **** to me okay i have alot goin on and i all i wanted was to know the answer to the damn question and if ur not guna help then dont bother answering! and for you who have answerd thank you very much.
2007-12-09 06:13:55 · update #1
OMG WHAT? And your Dad condones this? Where was he when you got pregnant? SorryI sound harsh but for Gods sakes 14 is too young.
2007-12-09 06:08:41 · answer #1 · answered by Sappy 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
WOW! You are so young. Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you have (or should) get married! It isn't the answer to make everything okay. In my opinion, you should worry about finishing school and raising your child, not being married. If the baby's father is really the marrying kind...he'll be around in 4 years or 10 years from now. Why rush into marriage just because you are pregnant?? I know right now it seems like a good idea. Your pregnant, you want to be married and be the happy, young couple that stayed together against all odds!...and maybe you will be....but marriage will not make that happen. Your child is going to need parents who show them a good example. You already have a strike against you for getting pregnant so young, but you also still can be the person to teach them. You have to be able to provide a good life for your child. You can do that by getting an education and being there for your child. It will be hard when friends want to go out running around and you have to stay home with a sick baby. You and the father need to work together to provide a future for this baby, but don't rush into marriage. Give it some time. Like I said....if he's still a great guy in 5 or 6 years...think about marriage then, not now!
2007-12-09 06:21:48 · answer #2 · answered by ladybug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that as long as you have parental consent.. you and your boyfriend should have no trouble getting married.
You may be young, and yes it will be tough at first.. but if you two really love each other, and you love your baby.. you can make it work. It will take a lot of hard work, but that's expected no matter what age you are. Marriage is a wonderful thing, and if you both really pour yourselves into it, you can definately make it last.
Also, try not to let people discourage you with their criticism. Negative comments won't change anything about your situation, and they sure won't help matters. I mean.. I don't think 14 year olds should be having sex, but that doesn't change the fact that they are..
You are now pregnant, and wanting to do the right thing (get married and start a family).. so the best thing to do, the right thing to do.. is to offer you support and let you know that not everyone is looking down on your for it. Like I said, I don't think a girl of your age should be having sex.. but I'm also not going to judge you for it, or try to make you feel bad. You don't need that. You need support and kindness, so you'll know that everything will be alright, and that this is just a whole new beginning for you in your life.
I wish you the best of luck with everything! If you ever need someone to talk to about it all, feel free to send me a message sometime. :)
2007-12-09 06:45:11 · answer #3 · answered by arkiegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, decide if this is what u really want, not just what ur father wants. It is a big decision, and u should be the one to make it. If u do decide to get married, u gotta find out the age laws for where u are, I think the limit might be 16. If u still have a few years to go, u can make a "promise vow" which is sort of like an engagement for minors. It is a signed agreement where u promise to mary ur bf when u r old enough.
Also, when and if u do get married, u should try to continue ur education. This can be done if ur parents or bf can take care of the baby during the days u r at skool. This way, u can be equal partners in ur relationship, and get a job.
Good Luck, whatever happens!
2007-12-09 06:12:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
What your father wants is his own self respect. To him it's not as bad if you're married to the father of your baby. But the truth is, Getting married at 14 is a big mistake. And while being 14 and pregnant is not the ideal situation, getting married only complicates things. I recommend the boyfriend just acept paternity, make his payments of support, have visitations and in a few years if he is husband material, then get married. But I think you will realize he is only a jerky boy. Going to the courts to obtain legal authorization to marry while under the age of 16 is also a risk. Because, I believe that since he is an adult and you are not, he has broken the law and can be held for statuatory rape and charged with a sex crime.
Your dad just needs to get over it and start thinking long term best interest of you and the baby....and best interest is not setting you up for failure by having you marry him.
Your dad can't force you to marry so please don't agree to it. An 18 yr old can make a baby, but let see if he is a man about it....then decide like I said in a few years.
2007-12-09 06:19:25 · answer #5 · answered by hewlett p 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It depends upon the state. SOME states allow parental consent if under 18 but I think 16 is the "cut off" However the state CAN step in and charge and convict your "boyfriend" with statutory rape and put him into prison. That's the avenue I'd be taking if I were your parents rather than marriage.
2007-12-09 07:43:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
On hte day of your wedding start saving for your divorce you will need the money.
Your father is proof anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a Dad.
My cousin got married at 14 with her BF and several years later she regretted it.
2007-12-09 11:56:24 · answer #7 · answered by will_955 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is very fortunate you father feels that way... the father of the baby being 18 and you 14 could be convicted of statutory rape and spend time in prison. I personally feel your way to young for marriage, as is the father at 18... I hope for the baby's sake someone has lots of money...
2007-12-09 06:13:35 · answer #8 · answered by prop4u 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to be taken from your dad and placed with a responsible relative, and your boyfriend needs to be in jail. If you don't know this, IN ANY STATE IT IS ILLEGAL FOR AN 18 YEAR OLD TO HAVE SEX WITH A 14 YEAR OLD LITTLE GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your father can also be prosecuted for failing to protect you. Please talk to a trusted teacher or your guidance counselor right away. You need more help than strangers on the internet can give you.
2007-12-09 06:13:23 · answer #9 · answered by fnd40 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If under sixteen years of age, the written consent of the judge of probate for the district where the minor resides must be obtained. Written parental consent is needed if under 18 years of age.
I looked it up
2007-12-09 06:10:10 · answer #10 · answered by thedollellama 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you have to be 15 with parental consent but MY GOD, why would you want to marry so young. Don't do it, you'll probably end up divorcing, you're way too young to commit to something as serious as marriage.
2007-12-09 06:10:11 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋