Me and my boyfriend have been together for over 6 years and we've lived together the past 4. We recently found out we were pregnant and had a miscarriage after 3 months. He's talked about it but when ever i bring it up he gets pissed so i just stop bringing it up. I know he's not trying to save to get me a ring but im starting to get sick of waiting. I want toget married and start a family and it sucks seeing all of my friends around me doing the things i want and have only been together for a couple years. What should i do just break it off and start looking fo someone who wants to start a life with someone?
2007-12-09 03:35:49 · 24 answers · asked by tasha b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he may feel that he is getting pushed into something that he is not yet ready to fully commit to, but you have to talk about this.
perhaps he is angry over the miscarriage and feels helpless about that
2007-12-09 03:57:29 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
BIG WAKE UP CALL HERE! Listen carefully, it's not going to happen and that is a real blessing for you. Dump this jerk while you can, now. Take birth control, what are you thinking anyway, that if you are pregs he'll marry you, not likely.
Any guy that gets "mad" when you mention it has a real problem and has no intention of ever doing it with you. He's a user and this is an opportunity for you to change the bad choice you keep making.
First, you don't live with a guy, have you heard the saying "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free"?
Second, you don't get pregnant without an established, commited relationship, marriage, period.
Third, get some self-respect and stop being a door mat. And no, don't start looking for someone else either. Get YOUR act together, because you don't have it at all. Neediness and being desperate is really bad, gets you lots of heartache.
Dump him, don't look back and move on making a great life for yourself. Go to college, start a great job, follow your dreams.
2007-12-09 03:44:01 · answer #2 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
A fancy engagement ring is not necessary for a marriage. You could sit down and talk to him seriously about this (but pick a time when he's not stressed out or watching a game). If he really doesn't want to get married and it is important to you, tell him. If he still refuses or gets mad, it's time to move on because you're just wasting your time. You have several years invested in this relationship and where has it gotten you? He has all the benefits of marriage already so why change things?
2007-12-09 03:50:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that girls are ready for marriage a lot sooner than guys. Most guys I've spoke to who have delayed marriage are usually trying to accomplish personal goals before they settle down (education, employment, financial security travel etc...like having a wife will really hold them back!) Others are afraid of the commitment. Some guys don't really feel the need to get married, it's not like he's the one that's been planning it from childhood. Women like security of marriage and tend to feel more assured of their future (personally, emotionally, financially and reproductively).
If you have a different future aspiration as a couple than his, it's time to consider moving on. 6 years is time enough for you both to have come to some sort of resolution about this matter. I wouldn't suggest an ultimatum either... he should want to enter into a marriage freely rather than be forced or your marriage will suffer as a result.
Don't waste another year of wondering. Time to tackle the issue now even though it may be a touchy subject for both of you.
2007-12-09 04:13:30 · answer #4 · answered by Shorty 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I made a promise to myself that if my boyfriend doesn't propose by the time we've been together for 2 years (we will have been living together for a year and a couple months by then). I'm going to have a talk with him - if he seriously doesn't know if he wants to marry I am going to move on. It sounds cold and callous, but I feel like I need to be on the same page as someone - I know I want to get married - he knows I want to marry him, but if he doesn't step up I'm moving on. I don't know if this helped, but it's what I'd do in the situation.
2007-12-09 03:44:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Some guys are content with not being married. You have to try and see this from the guys point of view. When women grow up, what is the thing that is driven into their minds and the thing they think about the most? Getting married. From the age of 7 you already know what kind of dress, what color flowers, the seating arrangement and where it's going to be.
Guys don't think about this... AT ALL. We love you, get it through your head. To guys, all marriage is is a piece of paper that says you're committed to each other. We don't need that as a proclamation of love. We don't not get married because it always leaves us an out or anything like that. We could leave if we were married too, it doesn't matter.
Brandon
2007-12-09 03:43:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Has he ever been married? (I have, that's the reason I'll never get married again)
You have to ask yourself if this relationship is meeting your needs. If you are really hung up on getting married (big mistake), then you may need to move on to get what you want.
After living together for four years it will be hard to split up and move out. Emotionally wrenching. However, multiply that times 1,000 and you'll have some idea what a divorce will be like.
2007-12-09 03:46:33 · answer #7 · answered by a_shrubbery_knight_of_ni 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should break it off. You deserve someone who wants what you want and will talk/listen to you about these things. It doesn't sound like he would be a good choice as a husband for you. I wouldn't just get married for the sake of having what others have, you should only get married if you have that caring and loving person in your life. If I were you, I wouldn't be waiting for him. Let someone who REALLY cares about you pop the big question.
2007-12-09 03:45:28 · answer #8 · answered by Nicole 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The problem is you let him get too comfortable. now that all this time has passed, he's probably thinking; 'we've been together like this all this time. what's the point of gettin' married now?'
You need to be straight up with him and let him know that you do want to get married, and that if he is unwillingly to commit to that, then you have no choice but to move on.
Me, I feel that if I've been dating a dude for one or two years and the talk of marriage hasn't come into the picture, that it would be a red flag to me!
2007-12-09 03:43:26 · answer #9 · answered by mz_neemarie 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's a long time to be together....I'm thinking this guy is not marriage minded and sees no problem with you living together.
If you want to get married, now is the time to speak up. If he doesn't want to, then you need to decide if you really want to stay with him or not.
2007-12-09 04:01:52 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"we've lived together the past 4" That's why. He doesn't feel he NEEDS to propose? What would be the purpose of it? Why purchase the cow when he is getting the milkf or free? YOU have to decide what it is YOU want and act accordingly.
2007-12-09 08:23:35 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋