and according to the parenting plan, we are supposed to have one week with the kids then he has one week. Because of his job, he cannot take them during his week and I feel like I should either be compensated as a "babysitter" or he should hire someone to care for them. He has been dating an absolute selfish needy "b*tch" who keeps demanding more of his time. This is tearing my oldest daughter up, she is hurting so bad. It kills me to see her hurt and I've become very bitter with him for doing what he's doing and not realizing his actions effect others. So instead of owning up to it, he's like fine I'll pay you off. Is this wrong?
2007-12-09 02:45:44 · 10 answers · asked by ooolala 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Point out to him that your daughter has expectations that the court has agreed that he had to meet.
He either meets them or you go back to court for adjustments in support payments to reflect fact that you now have primary custody.
He has the option to hire a babysitter, but is that whats best for your child?
You can't ask for money for babysitting your own child, but you can do the change in support payments thing with a clear conscious especially if he says he can't see taking the child for a long period of time.
Don't bother worrying about the gf, that, thankfully is his problem. Your daughter doesn't care about the gf she cares about spending time with Dad, but she won't collapse if you are sensible about explaining Dads work schedule to her, kids can understand about having to work.
It also may sound like you have more issues with the gf than you should and you don't want that added to your life.
You divorced him for a reason, now you have another reason, don't let his life poison your life, thats a waste.
2007-12-09 02:58:18 · answer #1 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, he is wrong.
Get your custody plan amended. He either pays more child support or takes the kids. Don't get all het up about who he is dating. It doesn't reflect well on you. He chose you once too don't forget.
Your actions affect others too and being bitter with him will also hurt your daughter. She loves him no matter what. If she is old enough she should write him a note saying how she feels. You should just be there and be understanding of how she feels with out judging his behavior. Keep trying to do what is right.
2007-12-09 02:59:52 · answer #2 · answered by Pal 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe, as a mother , you have to be both ....I mean , do all he was supposed to do as per the court verdict.He has to pay handsome amount for evading his responsibility and disregarding the court decision in this regard.You better seek the advice of a lawyer and and get an agreement prepared by the lawyer without violating the legal norms.....and, I guess , an Agreement on a Duly Stamped Paper with witnesses as required by Law should be prepared in which (1) he must agree how much per month he is willing to pay(decided mutually by you two.......payment must be trough Bank A/C)
(2)he must admit his inability to act as decided by the court earlier....(3) must also declare that he wouldn't disturb the child or you in any manner in future
2007-12-09 03:30:38 · answer #3 · answered by bikashroy9 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I see a red flag when you compare caring for your own children to being a babysitter. Secondly, if he is not taking his week then he should be paying child support. Thirdly, why would you let your kids be hurt bby this behavior. You should not be talking about it to them, you should be treating it like its a good thing that you can see them more. Even if its not, you should be making it so for them.
2007-12-09 04:58:49 · answer #4 · answered by chinamigarden 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are angry cause he has a new gf, that is your total problem. Why should you, or why would you want too, or expect to being paid as a babysitter for your own children. That's absurd. If it hurts your dau so much to be with her dad then isn't more time with you better for her unless she hears you talking and complaining about her dad. He is no longer your husband and you cant expect him to do as you would like any longer. If he's not there for your children for Christ's sake you NEED to be. You admitted your bitter because of his actions, wonder how much of that your children see. I feel for the kids if there dad thinks he can just pay extra and all is ok... and your bitter. Why don't you just concentrate on being a good mom and leave him in the dust. IF he shows up ok and if not ok. You need to think about your children, whats best for them, and being there for them letting them know how important and loved they are. At least give them one good parent isn't that better. God Bless your children they are the ones who suffer when parents act like kids.
2007-12-09 03:07:26 · answer #5 · answered by deerlady2000 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yep he sounds wrong and totally into a new girl instead of his children I would make him pay just so he knows it will be a problem in the future as well and hopefully will not do it again
2007-12-09 02:54:55 · answer #6 · answered by ღKrissyღ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we are liable for our options, our options in existence will create our destinies, regrettably u gave in to your temptation, and your ex had a plan, a plan to get u returned any way she might desire to, being inebriated is not any excuse, because of the fact the outcomes are nevertheless a similar wheather u meant for it to take place or no longer. your woman buddy feels she will no longer have confidence u. flora won't make up for the style of betrayal. in uncomplicated terms ingredient that would desire to artwork, is to bypass to her, admit, prepare remorseful approximately, tell her that what u did improve into incorrect and u comprehend the way it harm her, and which you will by no ability do it returned. even though it might desire to no longer artwork whatever u do. as some people choose their pals to have character, and have stable morals.
2016-10-01 05:33:25 · answer #7 · answered by sedlay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is not man enough to responsible as a father, then you will have to step up and fill in the gap he is leaving, i know it is not fair, but do it the kids sake, and he should compensate you for him being weak and irresponsible, be extra strong for the kids, his actions will come back and bite him later
2007-12-09 02:59:15 · answer #8 · answered by George 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let his relationship with the kids suffer, not your own! if your custody arrangement is in the divorce paperwork, then i advise you to re-address the issue with a lawyer. if he wants to neglect his kids for a new piece of ***, let him do it.
offer your daughter counseling, possibly even family counseling. the longer this situation goes on, and the more complications get added to it, the more stability she is going to need.
2007-12-09 03:24:21 · answer #9 · answered by celticbuddha 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he cant own up and be a man....then you need to play mom and dad dont get mad he probably feeds off that.....just be the bigger person......your daughter will love you for it in the long run
2007-12-09 02:53:42 · answer #10 · answered by Nick20 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋