my life after pregnancy?

Question

i am 20 years old. me and my husband just had our first baby boy in september. i was with my hubby for about 2 years before we got married and had a baby. Everything was so perfect. I love my baby boy to death there is no question about that but i had problems with depression after the c-section. My life changed, my body was cut and im still worrying about making it back into my pre-pregnancy body. Im still fighting with the depression. I talked to my doctor and he recomended other things before he gave me med. to help out. Latley i just seem to snap at EVERYTHING. my temper is just off the wall. everything my husband does pisses me off. its not his fault and he tries sooo hard to help but nothing seems to work.
i feel like we have grown apart and im just not happy with anything i do. I dont want to push him to the point of divorce so im just wondering if anybody reading this went through depression and how did you cope? its been 3 months. somethings gotta give.

Answer 1

Speaking from experience here, I had the same problem. No one can prepare you for your first child, it is something that only you can experience. Your body is recovering from the trauma of pregnancy, that only takes time. Your mind however has to deal with everything else. Depression is real, insist your doctor start you on low doses of medication to even you out. It will help you will the craziness of change. You have to remember that your husband is going through the same changes you are (except for the body healing part) a new baby is wonderful, exciting and very stressful. Take a step back, breathe and hang in there soon your hormones will snap back to where they are supposed to be, don't be afraid to make time for yourself, the boys will be fine if you leave for a hour or two to visit with friends or just go for a coffee. Hang in there, it gets easier with time.

Answer 2

My wife was more or less in the same state as you have described after our daughter came. I am told every mother goes through this phase and first time moms are more prone. I’ll try to tell you a man’s point of view on this and hope that helps. First of all, the scar: Our daughter is almost two years and the scar is still there on my wife’s belly, though faded quiet a lot. But did it ever bother me?? She looks the same pretty woman with or without it. For that matter I don’t remember giving a serious look to that mark anytime in last two years. The mood swings.. these are real, often induced by the hormones or the medicines you took during the last nine months. We never took any medicine or counseling for depression, although I am not saying that one shouldn’t. Having a third person between the two of us was overwhelming for both. Mostly joyous but one or two times, we did wonder if we did the right thing at the right time. I regret those moments now when I look at my girl. For my wife and her temperament, there wasn’t much I could do except standing by and staying around, which I am sure your hubby is also doing. Trust me this will pass… and you will also be able to fit into many of your old clothes… And however long it takes, trust one thing… you will never look any less appealing to your hubby because of your body… all he wants and expects is for you to talk often and share often. Spend time as a family and hug him enough. This will do good to all of you. Sex can wait a few more months.

Answer 3

First of all.. .you need to take a deep breath and try to relax a little... honey 3 months after a C section is not a time to be frantic about getting back to your pre-pregnancy body... Your body is still dealing with a ton of hormones, your organs are still moving back to where they belong and you are still healing....

Many mothers at this point (without a C section) are tired and slightly overwhelmed... everyone is still getting used to the new addition and new schedules... if you are like most of us, the lack of sleep is catching up to you.... I can only imagine with a C - section how much harder your body is working to rebuild and heal.

Just give it a little time... don't sweat the small stuff... when he is grown and you look back, you won't even remember that it took you a year to get your body back in shape. Just start little and build up from there... take it a day at a time...

One piece of advice.. get out the measuring tape and measure your hips, stomach, chest, arms and thighs.... also record your weight... then, once a month stop and measure again... if you are slowly increasing your activities and watching what you eat / drink.. as the time passes, you'll see the changes... just take it slow and let your body heal as you go..

Focus on your little miracle...

Answer 4

OK I know exactly how you feel. I was the same way after both my kids. Your hormones are going to be out of whack for a little while longer....that's causing your depression and your temper problems. It took almost a year after each child to get totally back to normal. I know that's not what you want to hear...;-( Maybe what you need to do is go back to your dr and get your meds adjusted and also see if he can recommend a counselor. Make sure you get your husband to watch the baby some so you can do things alone sometimes. (sometimes all I needed was to drive around for half an hour and I was good after that.)
Hang in there! I know the stress you are under and it can be very difficult......Oh and ignore the moron who said to stop focusing on yourself and to focus on your husband and baby.....If you dont take care of yourself it'll cause problems with everyone. You HAVE to take care of yourself for their sake as well as for your own ;-) Good luck!

Answer 5

Oh honey i am sorry you are going through this I had postpartum depression as well and just so you know it does go away.
I also had a cesarean, two actually and you know what the only way you can see my scar now (my youngest is 3) is if you actually get an inch or teo away and stare for a minute seriously over time the redness fades and it is unnoticable I can tell your husband loves you stick with him and tell your dr whatever he has you doing now is NOT working and to find something that is it is not fair for a woman to be going through postpartum depression with a dr that does not take it seriously!!!!

Answer 6

Oh for heavens sake, go see a psychologist, they can help you get back on track there is nothing so common as what you are going through, you've got body issues, attractiveness issues, how you see yourself and your place in the world issues. You don't cope with these things you get professional help, I doubt if your husband will head for the hills as long as you are decent enough to tell him you love him and need time to make all your adjustments and to please be patient with you, tell him this when you aren't feeling like you hate his life, his freedom, his uncut body.
You will get better, but do get help it will make it shorter to enjoying all aspects of your new life as a mother, and it will allow you to see your c-scar as a badge of honor.

Answer 7

i was depressed for two weeks, but not 3 months. please talk to your doctor again. there is no reason that i can see why he can't give you meds. they should help, if you are willing to take them. if he won't give them, then get another doctor. this one is not doing his job. good luck. hang in there...it does get easier as the baby gets older.

Answer 8

Quit focusing on YOU and focus on your baby and husband.
Quit the meds they arent helping they are NOT a cure.
It is the way you LOOK at things which is how you RESPOND to them.You look at something negatively your going to FEEL negative about it.
I bet your husband loves you and STILL thinks your sexy in SPITE of that scar.Go ahead and work out that helps depression, but start asking yourself"am I seeing this as it REALLY is?"