my best friend's brother died before 3 years ago...yesterday while we were at the school ,i over-heard him crying in the boys bathroom ..then he got out and his eyes were red and he looked like hell ! i asked him what's going on? he said my brother, i miss him , i want him back! then he started crying and he totally broke down !!
please can you help me?
what can i do to make him calm down?!
2007-12-09 02:35:44 · 24 answers · asked by Mrs.Leonardo 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
i can't convince him to go to a doctor !
other solutions?! please
2007-12-09 02:38:34 · update #1
Losing a sibling at any age is heartbreaking. Losing some one when they are young makes it ever worse. It is something you never truly get over. From experience, the pain does lessen with the passing of time. Since you are not a professional, the best thing you can do is listen to him and be supportive.
It may be helpful to let your school counselor know he is so upset. If your friend is slipping into depression, he may need medical attention. The school counselor may need to contact his parents.
Good luck sweetie
2007-12-09 02:47:09 · answer #1 · answered by KyLoveChick 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The holidays always make people think about loved ones who have passed away.
You need to remind him that even though he can't see his brother that he is right there with him all the time.
If you don't believe it, please read this story - it is true
My dad died in a car accident a few days before I was born and my mom was devastated. My mom kept thinking that it was such a cruel thing that how could God let that happen to someone so young and with a baby on the way. My mom was really depressed and then a few weeks after I was born, my dad came to my mom. My mom said it was like a dream but that it really was different. My dad told her that he couldn't come back but he was in the most amazing place and he could see everything that was going on and he would take care of her. My mom said - how do I know that this is real and not just a dream. My dad promised her he would send a sign that he and she would be at peace. My mom told her sisters the next day about talking to my dad and about 1 hour later the biggest, brightest rainbow appeared from the top of the local church to our back yard - and it hadn't even rained at all. Ever since then my mom has faith that those who pass are still with us and I share that belief.
Ask your friend to ask his brother for a sign. i know he will get one. I hope that this helps.
2007-12-09 10:49:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i know that feeling i was 46 when my brother 48 died 3-15-2003. (it was a rough 9 months i lost both grandparent12-19-2002 and 12-26-, my great aunt 2-10-2003, my brother 3-15-, my mother 8-27, and my other grandpa 9-15.)it will be five years in march and he was my best friend and i idolized him. i still cry. if you wanna help him just be there to offer encouragment. it doesnt hurt to offer to hug him... many was the time id probably have fallen if one of my friends wasnt there to lean on. a hand on the shoulder and kind words.really help also, and stay by him as his lets his emotional rage subside. just having a friend as special and concerned as you appear will go along way to help alleve his turmoil and pain.time has lessened the pain but it is still there
2007-12-09 10:38:20 · answer #3 · answered by crazzijimsmith 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It's normal for him to have a moment of grief surrounding such a profoundly sad anniversary. There's nothing you need to do to calm him down, just let him feel the way he feels, be there for him in case he needs to talk, and allow him the freedom of working through his problems in his own space and time. There are no artificial remedies that will make him forget what he's lost, and no quick fixes that will make everything "all better". But as he embraces his grief, he will eventually heal, and your being there for him may help him accomplish that in the healthiest manner possible. Good luck to you.
2007-12-09 10:46:10 · answer #4 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The pain of losing someone you love NEVER goes away. It may become easier over the years, but never goes away, especially this time of the year. Be a good friend and let him cry on your shoulder and really LISTEN to what he has to say. Also, try to get him into some type of grief counseling.
2007-12-09 10:51:02 · answer #5 · answered by marinemom3015 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi. You can't do anything to help him calm down. What you can do is be there for your friend.
Grief is very hard...you DON'T get over it...but eventually, as your friend has....you move on. However, there are times when your emotions just overwhelm you. Perhaps your friend is thinking about his brother with the holidays coming. Or, perhaps, it was just one of those moments in school when he wishes he could go to his brother and ask him a question.
DO NOT be afraid to be there for your friend. Simply say, "I am here for you." Tell him you would like for him to tell you about his brother. Perhaps you and he can do something together in order for him to remember his brother more, like making a scrapbook of pictures, etc.
So....simply say "[name], I want you to know that you are my best friend. I want to be here for you. Please let me know what I can do to help you." Let him KNOW it is OK to cry!!
Grieving is very hard. You are already a good friend by being in tune with what is going on and asking questions. Perhaps talk with your mom or dad and see what they say.
2007-12-09 10:46:31 · answer #6 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
depression is not unusual following a death. three age difference for boys means they grew up separately but together. so he's also lost his best friend. your best shot is contact his parents and let them know the depths of his depression and indicate they must take him to a psychiatrist.
he can get perscription medication and appoints with a therapist to work thru. don't be surprised how long it may take. he's going to have to live on his own which could be very hard.
2007-12-09 10:46:46 · answer #7 · answered by bardmere 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well,you could tell him his bro is in a better place.I do some sins but I am only a child and I don't attend church but my mom says there is a spearate heaven for kids but just incase theres not I pray saying I love God and tell him that I am sorry for all my sins and for him to please forgive me.
I am not sure if kids can go to h*** , but there may be a separate h*** for kids to. I always pray for my mom too. And just incase your wondering, I don't pray only because I don't want to go to hell I pray because I need to tell God I love him and believe in him and I also pray for my mom in the same way.
2007-12-09 10:49:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try talking to him and tell him that his brother is in a better place, he is with Jesus, and Jesus is watching over him, and I am sorry for hearing that, it makes me want to cry, but just talk to him and tell him that he is in a better place, and just ask him if u two can hangout and do something that u both like to do.
2007-12-09 10:40:08 · answer #9 · answered by wildride07 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Be his friend. Spend time with him reminiscing about his brother- old stories, funny quirks, his personality, how he's touched you and others. It's important not to forget him when he's gone. Of course- this time of year is hard because we want to be with the ones we love.
2007-12-09 10:40:19 · answer #10 · answered by jt_eradicator 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋