ok so the other night i called my husband at 5:20ish to ask him what time he was going to be home, he said around 7. I said, isn't that lovely, you've been working late everynight this week. He said that's what i get paid for. So, I took his daughter to meet her biological mom and called him at 7:10 to see if he was home so he could DVR frosty the snowman. I called both of his cell phones 4-5 times each and I called his office phone. I was starting to get worried. So i finally got ahold of him. I asked him where he was and he said where he was which was right down the road from his work. He said that he had just left. So, I said WOW, i thought you were going to be home by 7, isn't that great. So he got home from work at 8:00, we hardly spoke 3 words to each other. Finally when he came to bed, all i asked was why do i smell alcohol. Didn't accuse him of anything, just a little question. He snapped back, its probably me. I went to the bar after work. so i am left thinking....
2007-12-09 01:32:15 · 15 answers · asked by just don't know 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay, don't be offended, but if you are talking to him the way you described, this could be the reason for him to want to be away from you. I'm sorry, I know that is not what you asked, but you need to start talking to your man in a decent way. Being mean and grumpy with him will only push him farther and farther away from you. Give him a reason to come home instead of the bar.
And to answer your question, yes and no. He might not admit these things to you because he doesn't feel like having you nag at him. But this is no excuse to omit the truth. I hope you get all this sorted out. Good luck!
2007-12-09 01:51:52 · answer #1 · answered by forestbythesea 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would wander to watch his habits and ask at the bar he was supposedly at and don't let him know what you are doing maybe get a babysitter and ask him if you could join him for a couple of drinks and if see how he reacts to this im not saying he is or he isn't but you know him well enough to know by now or he is going through some stress or hes chasing someone else
2007-12-09 09:41:25 · answer #2 · answered by dreamweaver 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not say anything to him again. Just go quiely to the bar down the street from where he works.. and wait in a quiet, dark corner.. out of most view.. and sip at a coke .. If anyone asks you ..just say you are waiting for your friend to show up ..make it sound like she is a girl and you are waiting for her to get off work.. that way ..you can just wait and see what is going on. If it is not that bar.. then one day quietly watch from a great distance after he walks out of his workplace to see where he is going. and then go there too. not to fight..not to confront..but just to see with your eyes.
Too many people allow anger to cloud reality . Anger misused rarely resolves anything in a useful way. Ask yourself how much you love him. Based on your truthful answer to yourself... go from there.
Do not let anger make you lose sight of the possibility of forgiveness. Remember that your reaction will deeply affect your children and your lives together.
2007-12-09 10:06:04 · answer #3 · answered by juliette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably is working long hours and just needed a quick drink at the bar to unwind. You should talk to him about the fact that you would like him to spend more time at home with you and his daughter....lose the sarcasm when you talk to him though....that's probably why he didn't mention it....he would have had to listen to more responses like the ones you described above. I know it is frustrating to you to be home doing everything while he is at work, but sarcasm will only make things worse.
2007-12-09 10:01:14 · answer #4 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Agreeing with most others-sounds like you are on the controlling/demanding roll. Does he have to account for every minute with you? If he does then he feels like he HAS to lie to get some peace/alone time. Pushing people in that direction causes them to have dissention towards you, and it also quite often leads to straying. Take a breath, choose your words and tone carefully and THEN see what happens.
2007-12-09 10:19:05 · answer #5 · answered by Sappy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are at least two ways to deceive people. One is to not come forward with the truth. The other is a straight lie.
What you're describing isn't just witholding the truth. From what you've said here, he deliberately deceived you - if not flat-out lied to you. You asked an honest question and did not get an honest answer in reply.
2007-12-09 09:38:29 · answer #6 · answered by pecosee 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is a lie.
I have a few questions:
Are you stopping to think maybe he "NEEDS" to unwind a 'little" right after working so MANY hours?
When you are waiting at the door to jump down his throat EVERY NIGHT and calling him to let him know thats what he is to EXPECT from you, then why in the name of GOD would he WANT to come home?
2007-12-09 10:51:48 · answer #7 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably figured that if he told you he was going to the bar after work, you'd snap at him. It feels like you are trying to control him a little and he is rebelling against it.
2007-12-09 09:55:20 · answer #8 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is hard work, and it is impossible to be happy with this guy that hides things from you and does not help you around the house. He avoids you and doesn't want to communicate with you.
Have you ever heard of lying by ommission?
Being honest with you wif is being honest with you wife.
2007-12-09 10:50:15 · answer #9 · answered by heartsarebad 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course, not telling the entire truth is a lie.
2007-12-09 10:43:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋