How do you get past a devastating heartbreak? My mother and I had just began to get close and now she's gone. I have my husband and my sister and brothers, but I feel so along, please can someone tell me what can I do?
2007-12-09 01:09:08 · 8 answers · asked by Charlie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I will like to thank all of you so much for your answers, thoughts, prays, and opinions.This is not a contest to me so I want waste your time or mine with voting on the best answers, because for one thing they all were great and I thank all of for taking time out of your lives to help me, because today I really needed it and I just could'nt talk to my family because they would have been worrying about me, and that I did'nt want, but I do feel better now, the pain is still there, but a least I don't feel like killing myself anymore. So thanks you guys once again and may God continue to bless you all.
2007-12-09 17:12:08 · update #1
Honey, I'm so sorry for your loss. No one can take the pain away from you and it will take time to heal your wounds of losing her. I am close with my mom and I can't imagine what your going through. Just know that she loved and still loves you and is watching over you. You have to take it one day at a time... good luck to you and god bless you!
2007-12-09 01:23:16 · answer #1 · answered by Nikki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I'm sorry. :-(
My mom passed away 9 years ago, just as I moved back home with her and I too was hoping to get close with her on a different leve.................... I just sat the other morning missing her, feeling the aches of Christmas coming up and knowing that I can't give her a kiss or a hug. Life moves forward and so will you when it's your time. Be sure to grieve, don't force it but don't wallow too long in it either. Your husband and siblings need you and vice versa.
If you are close to your brother and sister I would suggest sharing your feelings. When my mother passed away (suddenly) my family which wasn't too tight to begin with broke apart. I only have one sister who is in my life.
The firsts of everything will be very hard. The first holiday, the first mother's day, your birthday.
It is a devastating ordeal, I'm sure you'll be okay. Try and think of the things that would make her happy. Think of good memories and don't let them go. Every so often I envision my mom's face when she would blink both eyes at me and it makes me warm all over. I could go on and on but I won't. I do wish you luck.
2007-12-09 01:24:07 · answer #2 · answered by gapgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my father when I was 16, we were SO close. It's been 5 years and I still miss him a lot and God knows, I need him more than ever. You'll always feel sorry about your mother's pass, I'm not gonna lie to you. But at some point you'll understand we all are going to die and meet again. What you should do now is living your life and enjoy it as your mother would like you to do so.
Death is not an end, really. We're all gonna meet again sometime, somewhere. (It's not about religion)
2007-12-09 01:32:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just lost my brother. We weren't close but when I last saw him, my heart broke. How could my brother who was once a handsome and promising guy became so sick and haggard? Then he passed away before I could tell him I actually love him very much. Thoughts of the old days made miss him so much. However, God promise that we will still meet one day.
There is no turning back, life has to go on. The fact is your mum is gone, she can never be back but she can live in your heart forever. Set your mind on something that you want to do. All of us will meet when the God calls. Good luck.
2007-12-09 01:53:42 · answer #4 · answered by JJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was 18 my mother was only 39 and killed by a drunk driver in California. The hole she left to my younger brothers and 1 sister was felt worse than me because they were children and I was at least of legal age. I tell people all the time that the kindest thing you can leave anyone are beautiful memories. Luckily you were an adult when your mom died. She must have left you alot of wonderful memories for you to miss her so deeply. My suggestion is to light a candle in a room where you are alone, Have it safely contained in a jar of course and understand, she can hear you. I know I felt my mom and saw her for an instant borth times when I was in labor with my sons years later. When I was struggling to overcome fear or worry I heard her advise in my head and stopped crying , straigntened up and pursued the course I needed to to overcome whatever life had sent me. You will too. Your mom is still your mom- she is just in spirit. She took her memories of you with her. Give it time, you will see signs or hints that she is near. She raised you to be strong, and obviously loyal and she did good so Thank her. I once had an elderly person tell me not to visit him at his grave that he wouldn't be there. He told me to say "alittle prayer and light a candle". Their journey is complete and they are in a higher place, like going from gradeschool to junior high. Time will soften the pain of her physical loss but you have to complete your journey. Would she want you to spend all your time in sorrow? How would she console you if it had been your pop who had died? Actually 'died' isn't right. What makes us is what inhabits our body, not the shell. That's why our body died because we weren't there to make it alive. When I saw my mom in her coffin I looked up at her sobbing cousin with a small smile those many years ago and said" Mary, she isn't in there,9her body) she is safe, don't worry." I can't prove this but I am certain your mom's spirit is nearby you....and this is where faith comes in. There are books in the library to help you, sitting in a church and any beautiful place may help you to feel her presence is safe and near and what I learned is that those in spirit are just a thought away. Send her your happy thoughts and when you are ready you will feel her near. Many Blessings for now and the new year.
2007-12-09 01:44:37 · answer #5 · answered by sliverofmoon2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time will heal, I lost my father several years ago, it does take time. you feel for a while that you cant go on, but you have to for your self and everyone around you.
No offence, but you had only just began to get close? I had 40 or so years with my dad and we were mates.
Whatever the situation, keep in touch with friends and family, keep active, don't fall into a hole.
2007-12-09 01:21:18 · answer #6 · answered by gaz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is only gone physically, you have to show her that you are grown enough to take care of yourself and live the life she wants you to live. Grief is something in life we all have to deal with. I myself have been there, it really never goes away, but you have to think of your family now and go forward in life, not dwell on things that you can't change.
2007-12-09 02:49:45 · answer #7 · answered by fman440 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get professional grief counciling
2007-12-09 01:23:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋