He is married and his wife suspect something is going on with him. Everything was perfect. He pull back but he can't stay away. So I started to pull back. I need ideas from guys what to do. it feels like he is addicted to me. It's is going on three years. I love him but he was to understand I'm giving up more than him. I'm willing but things has to get back they way they were. I'm always there for him. I cook and clean better than your wife? I look better. I'm all those things and more? I need some more tips from you married guys what does it take?Ok his wife is fat and they have kids. He is trying to decide between us. What can I do to help him make his choice ME
2007-12-09 00:47:19 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Here's a song that recently came out... I think perhaps you will feel alot in common with it.....
SUGARLAND LYRICS
"Stay"
I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall
And I've been laying here praying, praying she won't call
It's just another call from home
And you'll get it and be gone
And I'll be crying
And I'll be begging you, baby
Beg you not to leave
But I'll be left here waiting
With my Heart on my sleeve
Oh, for the next time we'll be here
Seems like a million years
And I think I'm dying
What do I have to do to make you see
She can't love you like me?
Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay
You keep telling me, baby
There will come a time
When you will leave her arms
And forever be in mine
But I don't think that's the truth
And I don't like being used and I'm tired of waiting
It's too much pain to have to bear
To love a man you have to share
Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay
I can't take it any longer
But my will is getting stronger
And I think I know just what I have to do
I can't waste another minute
After all that I've put in it
I've given you my best
Why does she get the best of you
So next time you find you wanna leave her bed for mine
Why don't you stay
I'm up off my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
You can't give me what I need
When she begs you not to go
There is one thing you should know
I don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay, yeah
2007-12-09 01:00:24 · answer #1 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is never going to chose you.
Do you know what the odds are of a man leaving his wife to be with his fling? Neither do I, but they are not good odds.
You are asking him to leave his home, the woman he promised to be with forever, his kids, everything. Then after a messy divorce, where he will get utterly screwed because he was unfaithful, he will probably be financially ruined and alienated from his kids.
If he has not made a 'decision' after three years, the fact is he already has. He decided to be with his wife, but he has decided to give you false hope so that he can get some on the side with you, because you are better looking than his wife.
So he is using you for sex, and will continue to do so as long as you offer it.
What you are doing is morally wrong. You are coming between a husband and wife. Imagine if you did break up their relationship, how it would impact her, or worse, his kids.
If you did get into a real post divorce relationship with him, in the back of your mind you would always know how you snagged him. You would always know that at heart he is unfaithful man who will cheat on you if something better comes along. And while you may think you are hot, and apparently have the all important woman skills as cooking and cleaning (I see you are the ambitious type), looks fade, and when they do, there will be another woman like you waiting to take him.
So what you need to do, is get some self respect and self esteem. Get yourself a boy friend who is single, and start your own relationship. You just better hope you find a faithful guy that never runs into a girl like you, while you are dating.
2007-12-09 08:52:24 · answer #2 · answered by ZCT 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok this is going to sound harsh and im not trying to hurt you but this is the hard unforgiving truth.
ok so here goes....
Nothing, he loves his wife, he is only using you as a sex toy to fulfill the sexual urges he cant with his wife...If he wanted you for more then that he would have left her and been with you from the beginning kids or no kids...you are not only hurting your self by being a part of this but you are hurting him and his wife and those kids more then you will ever know until you are on the other end of it. It sounds to me like he is ashamed of his actions and doesn't want to be doing this to his wife, and well frankly you should be ashamed too...why would you put his wife through the pain she will have to face when she finds out....It doesn't matter if she is fat and or a bad house keeper, that is not what makes you love someone so much that you choose to spend your life with them...I think you both have an obligation to tell her, she has a right to decide if she even wants to be with a man who has been unfaithful to her for three years...
Do the right thing...If you were married to this man what would you do??? I bet youd hope that other women would see he is married and have nothing to do with him. Right?
2007-12-09 09:01:36 · answer #3 · answered by cynical girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey my ex sister in law does the same thing dates married men and has been in what she calls two serious relationships the thing is most married men stay home they do not leave their wife for the other women. And you end up heart broken . They have the person they chose they go home and stay with the person that they have chosen for life. You deserve a person that is devoted to you and only you . Men want their cake and eat it to and your just giving him the chace to take it . They will live this fairy tale and tell you exactly what you want to hear to keep stringing you along.And im pretty sure he has told you how awfull she is and everything else there is two sides to every story and you have no idea what goes on behind their closed doors she could be the greatest person in the world but you will never know . Realize that you could also destroy the lives of these kids and be the one that traumitises them . Take my advice find a man who is not taken and has no strings attatched . You will find its alot easier and its what you deserve. Good luck.
2007-12-09 09:08:03 · answer #4 · answered by jcupsbbgrl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will continue as things are - why should he change?? he can have YOU and her and the kids. This is not a contest between the two of you and if you want to see how sincere he is....stop seeing him and returning his calls. Take back control of your life, girl! This will force a decision on his part - and be prepared for it not to go YOUR way. This is the gamble you take when seeing someone who is still married...and btw, EVERYTHING was not perfect...or he WOULD be with you already.
2007-12-09 10:13:54 · answer #5 · answered by that judi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why don't you help him make the right choice and leave him.i mean try and do the right thing,make him choose the wife and leave him alone.you are messing with a family not just a man.if he did choose you then four people will get hurt,the wife,the children,and him.go find a single guy and leave the married ones alone.
2007-12-09 09:13:28 · answer #6 · answered by gwilliams0422 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It wont work and all this wil be for nothing.He is probab;y using you for a piece of action. Women like you give women a bad rep. You couldn't find a man who wasn't married?Are you one of those women that need to brake up a marriage in order to feel like someone?Because you are nothing but a home wrecker.I hope his wife finds out and kicks your as.... and throws her husband out and he gets with you. Then he can do the same to you as he did to her. Cheat on you. Wouldn't you deserve it?YES
2007-12-09 09:04:46 · answer #7 · answered by lollypop 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he's picked his wife over you for the past 3 years, he isn't going to pick you now. He's only saying that to you to string you along and hold onto you longer. Leave and don't look back. You will find someone that truely deserves you.
2007-12-09 09:59:28 · answer #8 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say this is perfect? Being a cheater is perfect? Wonderful? Wow maybe next robbing a bank will be perfect, who knows. You are too weird. You love him but you do not care about anyone in his family? Too horrible and selfish, girl. Let him go. It does not matter if she is fat..someday you will probably get fat now you made it sound like fatness is a great reason for husbands to backstab everyone . He surely tells them he loves them too. Too gross.
You are not "there" for him. You are there for his penis. Let him go.
2007-12-09 09:58:12 · answer #9 · answered by juliette 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are truly in love and you feel like he is your soul mate stay with him. Don't listen to other people living in the "normal" world. Those married people are lying and miserable. You might be giving up some things but trust me the grass is not greener on this side and 99% of those married people are miserable and not in love. What is right and wrong?!?! Who is to judge. You should follow your heart. One night with someone you truly love is worth 10,000 nights with someone you aren't in love with in the "normal" world which is full of lies and misery!!! What is the most important thing in this life? Happiness and love. Take it anyway you can in this crazy world. What is the worst that can happen? You are with him 20 years and he doesn't leave but you are with the love of your life for 17 more years!!! If you stay with him and truly believe in your love he will eventually leave and when he does make sure you don't make the mistake of getting married and destroying your love!!! Happy Holidays. Email me if you have any questions. I have been through this!!!
2007-12-09 09:04:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋