A long marriage. Luck or Effort?

Question

Please give examples if you can. Thanks!

Answer 1

I've been married for almost 25 yrs. It's about mutual respect and friendship; if you're not friends with your spouse, it will never last. Sex is great, but it doesn't last forever, and it's not the best foundation for a relationship, never mind a marriage. Marry someone you are *friends* with. If you don't respect the person, you won't be able to live with them 24/7. Finding someone you enjoy and like and respect takes care of any "luck" you may need.

And yes, effort means giving what you expect to recieve, putting yourself in their place, doing things to please and help them, remembering it isn't all about you all the time. In this way you make your own "luck." I'm not saying be a doormat, but treat your spouse the way you like to be treated. Remember, too, to say "thank you" even for little things...if they do something to help you in your work, or make things easier. There is nothing wrong with "thank you" and please.

And the most important thing to learn to say when it's needed, is "I'm sorry; I was wrong." I don't know why it's so hard for some people (women and men both) to admit they make mistakes, just like everyone else. You do, and you will--be adult enough to admit it when it happens, and say sorry.

Answer 2

First, choose the right person. Can you live with their faults? Do you have unreal expectations of changing them? That goes for both of you.

Second, it takes effort. Always treat the other as you want to be treated, never name call or accuse, always support ( marriage in name is 50/50 but in practice varies from 10/90 to 40/60, that is what having a partner is about. Pick up the pieces when they can't and having them picked up for you when you can't.

Always remind them how you feel, and try to remember that even in the times when you just want them to leave you alone that they are the first person you want by your side when you need someone.

It is a lot of work but if you wake up every day and choose to love your partner than you will have a long and happy marriage as long as they do the same for you!

Answer 3

I think that a long marriage is a combination of not settling with the wrong person to begin with and effort. Too many people bail when things start heading south - just look at Hollywood.
I don't really see where luck comes into play.

Answer 4

I believe it's 80% effort and 20% luck. The big secret is no lies, talk honestly about everything, even though that is very hard to do, and when you have children remember stand firm on disipline together. Unless it 's something medical make time for each other in bed, make it fresh, exciting no matter how old you are.

Answer 5

having a long marriage will be a result of effort...

this is because its inevitable that problems come and go all through out a relationship.. now resolving those problems requires effort from both parties involved in that marriage.. if no effort is given, no matter how lucky you are the relationship will not last...

Answer 6

i think is effort,because marriages of nowadays the only thing that can keep them long is when you have too much patience and also keeping yourself too busy with what u like most.u have to put efforts for u to get luck.

Answer 7

luck or effort, it's both and alot more.
luck if one of you can hold your tounge and forgive. effort to go on sometimes and even to forgive. you also need compromise, respect , trust, love. and above all else being each others best friend, along with being supportive, and being honest with each other about everything.

Answer 8

It isn't luck or effort. The key to a long marriage LIES!!! Those old people you see married 40 years hate each other and they haven't even kissed in the last 20 years. Look at your own parents and your friend's parents if they are still together and don't lie to yourself.

Answer 9

mostly effort with a bit of luck thrown in.

Answer 10

it takes effort to keep it together. but when you DO love that person then that means its luck.