ex BF from 25 yrs ago gets in contact, we did not have closure back then due to family intervening. We caught up with one another's lives when we spoke three years ago when he called me. I am happily married and have been for 21 yrs. Ex is in a relationship with a partner and a couple of her kids, and they had to move states so her ex would not follow her. He had to be very secretive about contacting me. I told my hubby immediately that he had called and he was really happy for me that we had made contact, cos he knows that I still have a very soft spot for my ex, but trusts me completely. My problem is that I still would like to have contact with this guy, he was part of my "growing up" but just as friends, coz we were the best of friends back then. And because of his situation I don't think that it is right that I contact him, although I still don't have that closure and feel that I need it.
2007-12-08 22:53:42 · 16 answers · asked by little caro 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think there is such a thing as closure.
Perhaps your family intervened because they knew he was the type to end up in a situation running from an ex (who knows if this is justified or not?)
I agree you need to let this go - he's not and you're not the people you were 25 years ago. Since you are blessed with 21 years of happiness, one must wonder why you would want to mess with this? Not many can claim to have what you do.
Please don't mess up what you have.
2007-12-09 01:38:23 · answer #1 · answered by pinky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh please! So your telling me that for the last 25 years you have just been going thru life wanting & yearning for this man? Stop playing teenage games, & this is what this is about, you are looking back into the past when things were so fresh & new & when love was so different & you are acting on sheer impulse & imaturity, & do not take this as a insult because I dont mean it as one Im only saying this out of my own personal experience, as I to had contact with a old boyfriend from way back, & I know that if you dont pay attention your emotions & old feelings can get in the way of reality, so I advise that you let this one go, put this guy back in your back pocket & move on with life, stop wanting what you dont have & enjoy what you do have!
2007-12-09 00:48:54 · answer #2 · answered by penelope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with filthy on this one. Why are you still thinking about this guy from 25 years ago? You have everything a lot of women dream of. I wish I had a wonderful husband and was happily married. Stop causing unnecessary drama in your life and let the past go.
2007-12-08 23:18:32 · answer #3 · answered by LuvMyGirls 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't trot that "friends" and "soft spot" bullsh*t out here, cupcake.
What kind of "closure" would you want as a married woman?
Oh, *I* know.
The "beast with two backs" kind of closure.
You want to keep him around so he can flirt with you, make your drawers wet, and then you decide if you want a little fling or not. Tee-hee.
What if your husband wanted to stay in touch with a hot flame from earlier?
Oh, you'd cut his balls off. But you - you go right ahead, princess.
Married women do not have ex-boyfriend male friends who they still have a thing for in their lives. It's emotional cheating, and if you'd quit deceiving yourself for a second, you'd admit that.
2007-12-08 23:10:34 · answer #4 · answered by filthy_crumb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe sit down and write him a letter to get that closer you need. Sounds like he made contact cause he was not happy and wanted to see where you were in your life to see if there was a chance for you again. But, when you told him you were happily married he knew not to push forward and found other things to do with himself. So move on and continue to be happy with your hubby and life....
2007-12-08 22:58:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're asking for trouble. Right now, with all that's going on, is not the time for closure. It may make you feel better but it will only add to his problems. You have gone for 25 yrs. without it, and done fine. If it is meant to be, the right time will present itself, but right now isn't it.
2007-12-08 23:01:12 · answer #6 · answered by Needtoknow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the closure you seek is within you. to reach that level of closure that you are seeking means you will have to remove all doubt and wonder from the situation. Make your mind (clear and direct) up that it is over and that it is behind you. You don't need to seek out your ex to achieve that.
you have a soft spot for him, and you always will. but as you know, you love your husband and he loves his partner.
better a fond memory then a messy present situation.
2007-12-08 23:35:17 · answer #7 · answered by chilly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with filth c he is right that is the past you wouldn't like it if your husband past girls come looking for him .And he probably already made up with his wife and is rocking her world so you go ahead and get on with your husband because in reality you have been with your husband for 21yrs and still rocking so tell him the past is the past see you in another life time.
2007-12-08 23:25:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He secrely contacted you alright in the hopes that his woman didn't catch him cheating again. Let that be your closure and be glad you didn't marry the guy.
2007-12-08 23:33:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is your past and you have to look ahead without looking back. He is having a problem moving into the future so he wants what was in the past
2007-12-08 22:57:31 · answer #10 · answered by Nae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋