Everyday this year I have had trouble speaking to my friends. I find Ive had trouble relating to there interests and feel more and more isolated from the group. I really want to stay but I feel like I havnt got the courage anymore to speak to them nowadays! I want something to be done but I cant seem to force myself to say something can you please help its really depressing me?
2007-12-08 22:01:54 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
First of all, let me congratulate u for solving half your problem. The first step to overcome ur shyness is always by identifying it. And of cos u have done it successfully.
Okie, shyness can be easily overcome if u put some conscious effort into it. All u need to do is basically tell urself that u are gonna meet some objectives per day and work towards it.
For ex. keep this as an idea to work on
day 1. the group u are hanging out with.. just tag along, see what they are usually talking about. Get the necessary hints and tips of what they usually talk about. See whether u have enough knowlegde to have a conversation with them. Most of the time, pple are shy of talking out because they feel that they lack to the knowledge to share.
day 2. Research.... now u roughly know what they usually talk about.. all u need to do is get to know more about what they talk. when u have done ur research.. hang out with them.. no u dun need to talk it out immediately. all u need to do is agree and disagree with them. For all u know, u would be agreeing with them 99%.
day3. when the remaining 1% comes along ( ur disagreement), now its time to disagree and say something.
okie now we come to the slightly difficult part. Opening the slot underneath ur nose and make noise. start from simple yes and no and work ur way to small conversations to explain ur disagreement. when u have problem with looking into pple's eyes, look somewhere else, u will slowly learn to look at them to talk.
Remember the keyword is to have knowledge of what they are talking and start with simple yes and no. IF u expect an idea to make u overcome shyness overnight... close ur eyes take a deep breath.. look straight at the wall in ur class and start talking about something u are comfortable with. U have no idea on what to talk.. well talk about ur shyness to talk. U will be surprised. trust me.
2007-12-08 22:54:05 · answer #1 · answered by JAY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually have the same trouble sometimes at school with my friends. My friends have completely different interests to what i have but I think the reason I still stay friends with them is that i can connect to them. When they're talking to something that I don't have an interest in (which is mostly always) i try and change to a random subject. Maybe before the day, you can write a list of what you want to talk about the next day when you meet your friends. You can also try having the courage to tell them that you want them to talk about something that you enjoy talking about.
2007-12-09 06:18:17 · answer #2 · answered by claresapphire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are your friends you know what
interest they have.
Look them up.
Find out about them, and talk about it.
Because of my co-workers I got into
Nascar, ceramic painting, and the
Computer. So we always had things
of interest to talk about.
In high school the guy who sat next to
me was into basketball. So I started
watching the games, and talking to him
about it. That was fun, being a Female
and knowing stuff about Basketball.
I make friends easy.
Now you know why. :-)
2007-12-09 06:34:50 · answer #3 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we need to be by ourselves and that is quite normal. The question is do you still like them as persons and do you like their interests or no. Do they respect your interests and things you like to do, with or without them?
If your answer is no, then it is obviouse why little voice in you is saying not to be friends with them any more. Then you have to be open to idea of making new friends and not to worry about past.
But if your answer is yes, you still like them and they are still interested in you then it is just a minor crisis which will past.
You have to be honest to yourself first and then your instincts
will tell you what to do.
And tomorrow keep your head up and don't think about it any more, just do whatever comes to your mind.
2007-12-09 06:25:08 · answer #4 · answered by KD 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See shyness, and depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net. (.net.nz/~shaneris) in sections 9, and 2.
2007-12-09 06:14:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋