Why don't philosophers use their intelligence to solve the conundrum of all conundrums, the Bible?

Question

1. It is a written conundrum which can manipulate the reality of all the living; breathing conundrums in existence. There are endless conundrums within all conundrums of those conundrums we see.
2. Be aware that one can lose their mind in such games.
3. I promise your view of all in existence will change.
4. Don't read the Bible, for religious purposes, alone.
5. Solve the conundrum of all conundrums and post the answer.
Of course not in this generation will anyone of us find the answer within our youth.
6. I am offering you the chance to learn all there is about life.

A taste of the forbidden fruit: Satan has the world walking in circles. (Different directions, same path.) Now it's your turn to seek what keys are in the Bible that can benefit us.

Bottom line: What is worth more, than studying God's mind? I promise that the Bible is God's knowledge. I have tasted all of Socrates knowledge thru my own path, because of the Bible. Existence is the conundrum which is the Bible.

Answer 1

There is a religious riddle that goes as follows:
Why would God make a stone, which any person could lift, but God was unable to lift?
Like most riddles the answer is very simple.
The stone is not placed there for the purpose of being lifted.
Anyone who does so, does so in vain.
Does that answer your question?

Answer 2

Er - are you feeling ok?

Plenty of philosophical texts have been written on the Bible over the past couple of millenia - try Wikipedia entries on theology, Biblical exegesis, etc to get some idea of the scope. Different Christian denominations take different positions. Wars have been fought on the topic.

I don't think, in any case, that you're going to get THE definitive reading of the Bible on Yahoo! Answers.