I love my husband but he is so controling. He gets upset at me for every little thing. Constanly throwing divorce in my face. Kicking my son and I out of our home. Distroying all of my personal belongings then urinating on them. He is also a sex addict not with me though. He has the biggest collection of porno I have ever seen and is in the strip club latley every night. Just to socialize he says. He was fired from his job about a year and a half ago and has been struggling with mental issues ever since. I try to get him help but he is to stuborn and won't get the help he needs. When ever I try to talk about any of this its all my fault or he finds some way to change the subject. What ever it is he is the victim. I love him so much and if he is truly sick he needs help and I don't know if I could leave him in his time of need. He is so manipulative I think if I turned him saying he is crazy they would think I am. We have been married for such a sort time is it to soon to give up? HELP
2007-12-08 20:52:11 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Before we were married we had been best friends for 14 years and dating/engaged for 5 years. So I feel obligated to him to be more than just his wife. I just dont know how much longer I can keep doing this for. When is enough enough?
2007-12-09 18:22:36 · update #1
You really need to look out for you and your son's best interest here and that is divorcing this guy and moving on with your life. True he may be sick and needs help but I think this is just his way to get some control back in his life by putting you through misery and torment. Even though this is pushing you away he knows it and frankly I'm sure he actually enjoys doing this to you.
You have to be logical here and cut your losses because you are wasting valuable time that you aren't getting back because being with this guy is one huge mistake if you ask me. No one deserves to go through any of this and if you make excuses for him your only making it harder for yourself to get out of this situation. Get a divorce and please move on with your life before this guy drags you down even more.
2007-12-08 21:11:11 · answer #1 · answered by Johny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to know that you deserve so much more than this child in a man's body could ever give you.
To accept this, you are going to need to do some growing up as well.
You need to know that only you are responsible for happiness in your life.
You also need to know that you cannot change him.
Now decide if you can be with him for the rest of his life they way he is, or if you deserve better. Then take action!
Good luck. I will pray for you.
2007-12-08 21:18:42 · answer #2 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop chasing him. State your position - "I am deeply concerned for your mental state of health and pornography addiction. I want you to get help. Our home environment is extremely emotionally unstable for me and (your kid) and I am no longer able to live with you under these circumstances. It is your decision as to whether you seek help, I'm just letting you know where things are at for me." And then move out.
If you really love him you need to let him take responsibility for his future - at the moment he is using you as a scapegoat - its your fault etc... You can move back in if / when things improve with him. Make it clear you love him and deeply value your marriage, but that it is impossible to continue living together under current circumstances.
My b/f went wacko towards the end of our relationship (five years) and I was pregnant. Luckily I got out (he was delusional and threatening violence, doing the porn / affairs / prostitutes number) but his condition did worsen and his family ended up having him committed. He was on medication last I heard.
2007-12-08 21:10:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure he was like this before, so why the hell did you marry him? leave him.
you married him without him having a job, going to strip clubs, blowing your money, and porn addicted? you deserve him. that was a dumbass thing to get yourself into. i hope you don't have any kids with this d*ckhead.
2007-12-08 20:56:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its ur life after all. i think u can never change the instinctive nature of a person. so get a divorce
2007-12-08 21:59:07 · answer #5 · answered by neha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave him. But of course it's easy for me to say it to you. Try getting counseling with him and he may need medication.
2007-12-09 03:52:09 · answer #6 · answered by christina30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey he has no respect for you leave and let him hit rock bottom he'll see what hes lost and maybe try to get help
2007-12-08 21:25:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋