men, what would you do if you found out you had a child you never knew about?

Question

im sure this happens, it's been in movies.
so im curious....
you sleep with a woman, and months, years later....
here is a child, you never knew was yours.
how would you feel about the woman? the child?
in your life now. weather you are married, single, have other children.. how would it affect you now?

thanks for the good luck, but this isn't a personal question, just a conversation i was having with someone earlier, and thought I'd extend it to all..

Answer 1

I know this is aimed at men, but I can answer this from a personal point of view. My husband found out two years ago, that he had a 30 year old daughter, along with three kids and a husband. Yes, it floored him. He knew there was the possibility of a child, but had been told that the child wasn't his. Her and her family now live a block away from us, and we spend lots of time getting to know each other. She knew about it since she was 14, but had never been told what town her dad was from. She found out by accident one day, when going to work at a restaurant, and saw the last name of another co-worker and recognized it as her dad's last namel. It turned out to be my husband's niece, who then called her dad (my husband's brother) and he called us and the rest was history. The creepy thing about his was that her mother decided that her and my husband should get married and be one big happy family. WRONG!! Once she realized that I wasn't stepping aside to make that fantasy come true (plus the fact that my husband didn't want any part of her), she moved back to where she came from (she actually lived near here for about a year, being a pain where a pill can't reach). While the relationship between my husband and his daughter isn't as close as with our own two kids, it's a good relationship. So, it's possible for these things to work out. It all depends on everyone involved being an adult about the whole thing, and making the relationship the important thing. I had told my husband before we were married that if any children ever showed up, it wouldn't affect my feelings for him. Everyone has a past, and everyone should be able to be forgiven of that past. Though I know that each circumstance is different, in the long run, what's important is the relationship and what you do with it from now on. <*)))><

Answer 2

It would scare the bejesus out of me. I'd be pissed at the woman for waiting until now to tell me, but happy that God allowed a part of me to live in another human being. How reasonable would she be in wanting me to be a part of the child's life? There are at least 50 questions I could ask to get a better handle on this situation, but in the end I'd have to be happy that God allowed it to happen.

Answer 3

If the child was older find out from them if they would like to be a part of my life and if younger do my part financially and physically but hey the better question is how is the guy who was probably told he is the father when he isn't going to feel and react.?

Answer 4

Wow ... lots of variables there (location, the mother, age of the child, how I found out, etc.), but I guess I would try to find out as much about him/her either through direct sources or the Internet before making contact ... I don't know. Good question!

Answer 5

well to begin, there would definitely have to be a paternity test taken just to make sure that the child is absolutely mine, and not that the mother is trying to dump someone else's responsibility on to me.

Answer 6

I would do whatever it took to develop a relationship with the child.

Good luck.

Answer 7

first id be mad at the women for keeping such a secret from me and then all of a sudden telling me.. secondily i would be there for a child... i hate women like this...

Answer 8

good question!