Should I Be Upset?

Question

I was cleaning today and said something to my husband about not helping, he was just sitting there watching TV all day why I cleaned. I walked out of the room and he called me a Sl*t. I was very upset and then he got mad at me and said he was just joking, he turned it on me and said I had no reason to be upset then went on to ignore me the rest of the day. Am I right to be upset? What do I do about this?

Just to answer some of the questions, yes I do work too. Plus take care of our kids, house, and we own part of a horse ranch with my family that we live on and I do the work there too, even for his horse most the time. No I didnt leave anything out that would give him a reason to call me that, I dont cheat and we have been married 10 years. All I said to him was it must be nice to sit and watch me do all the work, you could help! He works 4 10hr shifts so has Fri-Sun off and he never helps out he is either sitting there on the couch drinking, at his brothers house, or playing poker.

Oh and the reason I do the work around the house is because of my children I want them to have a safe and clean place to live in and be proud of. I do the outside work as well. I think you should keep things neat your house is something you should take care of and be proud of.

Answer 1

You have every right to be upset. He should not have called you that, especially as a joke. He needs to realize that one of the worst insults to call a woman is a "sl*t". It's degrading.

He is your husband, so I'm guessing both of you are over 21 (or so). He should be mature and responsible enough to know not to act like a teenage boy with this.

All you wanted was his help and instead he made you upset. Don't let it slip pass like it's all okay, because it's not. Your feelings are important, and he should know that more than me. He's YOUR husband.

So, confront him on this subject. Let him know how you feel, and tell him calling you this shouldn't be a joke. It's not a good thing to make your lover feel bad, so let him know it.

Answer 2

Why do you clean?? If you are both working full time and he's not doing his share, you should stop cleaning too. But if you don't work, then I believe whoever doesn't work has the job of cleaning the house.

I don't understand why he'd call you a sl*t. What does that have to do with cleaning?? He's either super immature or there's a lot going on here that you didn't divulge. Either way, I'd be upset if my husband called me that and/or ignored me all day, most definately!! I sure wouldn't clean the house for him if he treated me like that.

Answer 3

Did you expect him to just notice you cleaning and jump up to help you?

That's not how it works. It would be nice if it did, but a lot of times, when one person sees that something needs to be done, the other doesn't see it the same way and can cheerfully ignore it.

You have to ask for what you want and be specific. "Honey, can you please help me by unloading and reloading the dishwasher?" "Sweetheart, could you please run the vacuum in the TV room?" "Babe, can you please sort the recycling and take out the trash in the kitchen and both bathrooms?"

Just complaining with "I cleaned all day and you didn't help at all," is not productive and will generally provoke a defensive response. He went overboard by name-calling, so while that should make you upset, it sounds like this might be a bad pattern in your relationship.

Answer 4

to hard to say what might help,but you need to let him know not to play with you like that. You are a lady and he needs to treat you like that! but men are men and sometimes it hard to get 'em to help around the house. one year my husband staid home and became Mr Mom while I worked It just worked out better like that cause my job paid more and he didn't have to work.... Well he thought my job at home was soooo easy, till it became his job. Because of that he learned to appreciate what i do and never wants to be a stay at home dad again! LOL ...
He still gets lazy every now and then so my advice is try boycotting cleaning till he helps you. When my husband starts getting lazy I boycott everything. and I mean everything( cooking, cleaning, and even sex.) And it always works!

Answer 5

Of course you are right to be upset. Your husband should never call you a sl*t or any other degrading name, "joking" or not that is unacceptable.
Tell him that was totally uncalled for how would he react if some guy called you a sl*t? Or how would he like it if you called him out of his name? Ask him. He wouldn't appreciate it either. Words hurt especially from the ones we love.

Answer 6

Some people have a relationship like that where they call one another names and it is acceptable. If yours is the case, you could've taken it out of context. But, if you really think he was being purposefully hurtful, make sure he knows it.

As for the cleaning thing- that happens sometimes. I've had a few exes that watched me clean and then others who would start cleaning before I did.

Answer 7

i guess it all depends on a lot of things. 1. do you work outside the home? 2. i assume your husband works outside the home. so if both of you do then yes you should be upset. do you help him outside? if yes then yes you should be upset. but me as a housewife, i feel that this is my job and that my husband does not need to help me. it's nice when he does and he does it the way i want him to. and yes you should be upset that he called you a sl*t. and you should be upset that he ignored you. you should sit him down and talk to him about all of this. good luck

Answer 8

Yes, you have every right to be upset. That word is one of a few that a man in love would never use to, or to describe, his woman. I wouldn't accept that, and if he thinks that he can excuse that by saying he was joking, then I wouldn't think much of his sense of humor. That man owes you an apology, and I would tell him so.
I've been married 23 years, and my husband has never used that word towards me. You deserve better.

Answer 9

Yes!! You have every right to be upset! He had no right to call you that word! He should have gotten his lazy butt off the couch and helped you! You shouldn't even have to comment on him helping. He should jump up and help when he sees that something needs to be done!

If my hubby called me that name, he'd be slurping his dinner out of a straw!

Answer 10

You have a guy that sits on his *** all day and calls you a slut and your wondering what to do??? Spend less time of the computer and more time packing his bags...tell him to take them with him when he leaves for work in the morning!