Why do I have anger problems? How can I seriously get rid of them and be a better calm, person?

Question

Today, I went over to my friend's house. (I am 15) .... his cousin who is 11 was there too. Apparently, his cousin's friend who is also 11 was there. It was my first time meeting him. When my friend was telling me to bench press 100 pounds, I tried to but I failed to do so. And that 11 year old guy starts calling me a "wimp" cuz i failed to bench press. And then I got up and said "watch what u say to me kid" ... he starts to giggle and throws punches at me like he's a brave person. My friend says to me, "oh Jason are you gonna take that" ..... So I say to that 11 year old guy, "I'm not gonna punch u cuz I don't want to make u cry. And your younger than me." .. he giggles more saying "yeah i'm sureeee" sarcastically. So he keeps throwing punches, and I keep throwing punches back to make him seem I'm joking. Eventually, I threw a hard punch at his eye and made him cry. He literally couldn't see after. How can I seriously get rid of anger problems and be a better calm, person?

11 year old kids these days ... what's wrong with them! show respect to a person who's older than you! You see what happened after disrespecting me? One punch, BOOM!

Answer 1

Maybe it was just an accident. . . but try to do activities that calm and relax you.

If something bothers you, go to the gym and zone out to you ipod or hit a punching bag. That works for me and relieves stress, especially after a bad day at work.

Good Luck

Answer 2

I can tell you that the reason you responded to the 11 year old like you did is because you have a low self esteem. You, as a 15 year old kid, should know that 11 year olds are younger than you, and also arent as mature. Why should you sink to their level? Why give them the glory, knowing that you got so mad by their teasing that you punched a kid? You may also want to be aware that punching someone can land you into juvenile hall and have charges pressed against you. You'd better be hoping that kid is able to see again...or you will be paying for his medical bills for the next 50 years...or your parents will. Its a good thing you have gotten to the point that you realize that you do need help.
First off, you need to get yourself into counseling. Find out the root cause of your low self esteem and your own abusive behavior. Most people become like you after either being the victim of abuse or by being subject to a traumatic event. That needs to be sorted out and gotten out of your system, or you will likely be dealing with this until you do finally get help. You are right now at risk of being an abuser...not only to other people, but also to yourself. You are likely to feed that angry part of you with alcohol, drugs, gambing, or other addictive behavior. You will find your girlfriends leaving you, and if you have kids when you are older, they won't want to have anything to do with you. You may end up doing things that land you in jail, prison, or dead.
I will tell you, that people who do start going to church and/or to support groups are very successful with overcoming anger issues. I will tell you, if you walk into a good non-denominational church and ask the pastor there to help you find God so you can be led away from the anger issues you have, they will help you. If you get a "no, sorry", you move on to the next church in the phonebook and keep on going. Some people say "oh only sissies would go to church and become some Ned Flanders.." but thats what stops alot of people. People who turn to God and pray and really get to know him are the strongest people. I really am serious. You will never know until you check it out. The worst thing is if you don't atleast check it out...you will never know. Atleast give it a try....and if you do go to church you will see big guys who are really well built right there at church. You dont even need to tell anyone that you are going, if you are worried about what your friends think. That feeling of worrying what people think will go away.
Good luck to you.

Answer 3

you need a "time out" hobby. there is no better therapy in the world then carving for me. cutting up wood with a knife has an instant calming effect. I think everyone has something like this. I know people who draw pictures to calm down, others who write journals, it seems hand activities help a ton. anything to completely steal your focus from whats bugging you.

Answer 4

He was acting like 11 year olds act sometimes. He saw that he could taunt you and push your buttons.
Sounds like you were feeling somewhat embarrassed and he pushed you to a point to make you hit him. Just don't let anyone make you do things you are not comfortable with. He probably would have lost interest if you walked away or ignored him.

Answer 5

dude, you're like this 'cause you're 15. He's like that 'cause he's 11. You're both at the stage in life where you're both *******. Blame it on testosterone. Anywho, exercise. You will majorly de-stress and you will feel better. You will be MUCH more able to control yourself.

BTW an added benefit to all this exercise, the chicks will dig your toned bod!

Answer 6

I would just try and breathe...count to 10 in stressfull situations and try to think about your actions and keep your cool. It takes a bigger man (or boy) to step back than to fight.

If it continues as you grow older, I would talk to your parents, your doctor or both and see if maybe an anger managment class might be the solution.

Good luck!

Answer 7

The 11 year old was being a prick

i would of done the same thing

Answer 8

It takes a wiser more mature person to walk away than to enter into the drama.
It will always be your choice to either............ be involved in the Drama & Aggresion or Peace & Knowledge of knowing you don't need to prove anything.

Answer 9

Embrace your anger...because seeing 11 year olds getting their butts kicked is enjoyable for me.

Answer 10

you just behaved like an 11 yr old.....get it!
behave like a 15 yr old by ignoring the younger kids.......IGNORE stuff like that, teases and you will be just fine.