My wife has done some really bad things to me and our relationship, currently we are separated, and she has told me that she wants to work on our relationship after she works on herself. She has put me in jail 3 times for nothing (control) I have 3 children with her, but I just don't see her changing, how can I detach myself from her?
2007-12-08 15:51:31 · 20 answers · asked by ocean 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If she is doing bad things to you, why on earth, further on in the relationship would she stop doing these bad things? It is hard to change a person. Accept the fact that she wants to hurt you and wants to string you along and control you ~ "wants to work on the relationship" ~ (Sure!!!!!).
You need to think of a life with your 3 kids - Without her ~ and find someone who will love you and your kids unconditionally.
You deserve that much.
Tell her that you are continuing your life without her and that, down the road, when she has changed, if you 're available, then you MAY talk to her then.
2007-12-08 16:49:19 · answer #1 · answered by Azul 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, you have three children and three trips to jail with this woman. Did the birth of your children coincide with your wife putting you in jail? Maybe she goes through hormonal changes which affect her judgement after she has children? At any rate, if you can't see her changing, I would definitely file for divorce after explaining why you are taking this step. I'd be curious to know how she put you in jail three times. How far did you go to "control" her? Good luck. You have three children and no matter what you do to resolve this problem, I hope that it is for their best interest.
2007-12-08 16:03:02 · answer #2 · answered by Ria 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By holding on to the things that she has done to you and recognizing that it wasn't love that put you in jail and all the other bad things she has done. Forgive her and except her for who and what she is. You can't detach yourself from her, because you have kids by her, but just know and understand that people can change and yet, you choose to never go there again. Even if she get better. Sometimes, we burn our own bridges, while in a crazy state of mind. She might change, but she will have to except that the things she has done, have barred you from her. Good luck and press on.
2007-12-08 16:00:22 · answer #3 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get the divorce. that should have happened after the first time she put you in jail. Either because she put you in jail for nothing or if you did something to be put in jail she should be rid of you. Either way I wouldn't still be with her. Then get some one to replace the void. I would say go to Asia to find a quick replacement but to each his own
2007-12-08 15:57:18 · answer #4 · answered by Doc Phil 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorcing her will end some of your trouble, but also will cause more trouble, It has been my experience with friends that have been in this circumstance has been more trouble because kids are involved and have spent more time in court now than when married. If you love this woman I would seek counseling to restore this marriage, and if not try to get into some kind of counseling to help cope with life after divorce
2007-12-08 16:04:23 · answer #5 · answered by john d 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since you are already separated then you need to focus on you. What are the things that will help you re-focus your life in a good direction. By you making the neccesary changes in you, things can turn over night to your advantage. Yu will be able to find out ways to determine if you should stay in this marriage or not....But if she already told you she s willing to try, you owe it to your vows to give her that chance,,but only after you are sure that permanent changes had happenned,,,good luck
2007-12-08 16:01:22 · answer #6 · answered by KingDavid 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
work it out, trust me, youll regret it if u dont in about 7 years, trust me, my parents divoriced when i was 7, it was the worst the that happened to me, and i was really depressed, and i cried every night for a year, and if you do divorce, your wife might get custody, because the court might not like it that youve been in jail 3 times. just give it time, dont start any fights, just try to listen, trust me, im 14, and im without my dad, because the SAME thing happened with our family, and i feel really left out. just dont say its over. you made a promise, for good or bad, stay with her. do it for your kids. be strong, and pray
2007-12-08 16:00:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her in a neutral environment that you just don't want to continue with your marriage, you're sorry, but too much negative business has gone on and although you are happy that she wants to "work on herself" you can't work past what has happened, above all, try to keep things as amicable as possible for your children. Good luck; also, you may want to seek therapy for yourself, as it sounds like you've been through the wringer yourself.
2007-12-08 15:56:12 · answer #8 · answered by ♀Redheaded Sunshine☼ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Divorce.
2007-12-08 15:54:07 · answer #9 · answered by oops 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
divorce is the number one answer !
are you wanting to wait for her and work on your marrage ??
you have to ask yourself that. If you do want to wait, then i suggest,number one you have a serious talk with her -
communication is the key
and tell her exactly how you feel
but if your just wanting to move on - then file for divorce and move to a different town or state
2007-12-08 15:58:53 · answer #10 · answered by country_girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋