is my poem good came from my heart?

Question

Emotions frozen
In a dark cold shell
It keeps me from showing
What heart is set

It's like a spell
Which i cant escape
I've made a vow to you
I'll love you forever

This spell is mysterious
It inpowers me so
Devouring my very soul
Leaves me un-empty

The mist is starting to clear
And so is my heart
Now i know
This spell is love Thanks i also write songs

Answer 1

Just a few constructive comments.

Check on your grammar and spelling. (I) when used alone is always capitalized.

Your second stanza:
"It's like a spell
Which i cant escape
I've made a vow to you
I'll love you forever"

For me would sound stronger if you lost the "It's" ( It is), "can't" (can not), "I've" (I have) and "I'll (I will)

S2L3&4: (Just a different way to flow)
I have made to you the vow
To love you forever

My favorite stanza is your last.

"The mist is starting to clear
And so is my heart
Now i know
This spell is love"

Very nice.

Needs some work but it is very nice.

Peace,
Sam

PS: For me the use of using conjunctions, is not something to be overused. It always depends on the message and flow.

Weak or strong, it is always the writers choice.

Answer 2

Same Q, same answer, and to add...GO with your HEART