Is this cause for divorce?

Question

My husband has a "friend" who things are crossing some lines...he swears no cheating has occured. But when asked if he wanted to sleep with her he said "Yes, the desire is there but I can't because we're married".

Its the most painful thing he's ever said to me. I tried to be nice until last night he invited her to come over for dinner with the option of sleeping over & when she couldn't show he invited her to go with us to a rec center today. I lost it.

I told him flat out I'm tired of being nice & I didn't want him around this girl period. He got pissed & when on about how I'm over reacting & just dont like it when he meets new people. I said thats it its her or its me choose right now. He said I'm not going choose she's my friend & he stormed out. My toddler wokeup later crying for him & he refused to answer my calls. I called his unit desk & had them find him I told him his kid needed him he said "what do you want me to do I want to do my own thing"

That was 3hrs ago...

Answer 1

you need to let him go....he's already gone I'm sorry to say

Answer 2

Okay - first things first. He obviously has some kind of feelings for her...

So, with that being said....you have options...you will always have options, it's the effects/results that people have issues with...

So, let's looks at your options...

1. Kick him to the curb, as some have suggested
2. Ignore it and hope it goes away
3. Talk to him about his feelings for her
4. Talk to her about his feelings for her
5. Talk to both of them (at the same time) about the situation

What would I do?

I would tell my husband, because he is your husband, that I love him. I would tell him that he is the most important person in my life and that I didn't want to lose him. I would also tell him that I understand that marriage is difficult, and that sometimes the normal day-to-day events are hard, and even boring, but it's those days, those events, that make it a life together.

Yes, the thought and idea of being with someone other than your spouse is entertaining, erotic and great, but when it gets down to it...that person also has to get up in the morning, brush their teeth, go to work, pay the bills, do laundry, by groceries, has her monthly period, gets bitchy, and all that other "normal life" stuff....it's not so great.

Bottom line...the fantasy is great, but the reality isn't so pretty.

If you want to make the marriage succeed, it takes work. You need to commit to him and he needs to commit to you.

I would also talk to the other woman...she may realize he has a "crush" on her...but may not realize that he is willing to toss aside his life, his family, his future for what he believes may be a good thing.

Take a deep breath....think with your logical mind, not your emotional mind. Right now he is running on emotions, not logic. But at least he is thinking about the moral conquences, that's a lot more than some men do. Give him a little credit. He's trying. Reach out to him.

You are at a crossroads...how you react, how you respond, what you say and do, will have a permanent effect on your futures, both together and separate. Think. You can do it.

Answer 3

No. Divorces can purely be brought about by the human beings interior the marriage. notwithstanding kit they use are no longer at fault. If a individual is truthful, there is not any clarification why they might desire to no longer be okay to apply a social networking web site. If a individual is cheating and are this variety of individual who would cheat, then they're going to discover the thank you to try this regardless of any web site. the two my husband and that i've got facebook debts, we use them to maintain in touch with pals and kinfolk. No drama in any admire.

Answer 4

I am sorry that this is happening to you. Your husband has made his choice and now it is time for you to make yours. If you want to put up with him pursuing another woman, you can. If you don't want to put up with it, sorry, you can't change him. What you can do is draw the line and tell him that he either cease all contact with this woman or else you and him are through. If you do this, get an attorney so that you can and your child can be protected financially with income and housing. He sees you as a weak woman because you are not taking a stand one way or another. You need to take control of the situation and your life and not leave it in the hands of a man who loves another woman.

Answer 5

If he's acting like that over this "friend", honestly, it's already crossed the line and somehow he'll try to make it your fault so he can put the guilt on you instead of being a Man and admitting it in the first place. You'll have to decide what to do from here.

Answer 6

You already know the answer to this. What a selfish jerk. Your husband thinks the grass is greener on the other side and he is willing to walk away from his family to have his freedom. As much as it hurts, you can't make someone stay with you out of obligation. Let him go. What goes around comes around and he will get his. Start thinking about taking care of you and your son. Divorce the SOB and get alimony and child support from the loser.

Answer 7

Sounds like your husband does not respect you, well your feeling anyway.
This women is also not respecting your marriage, But that b/c your husband is not either.

I think calling him, and his job is a bad idea As much as you want to, you need to stop.
Telling him not to be around this girl, will only cause issues.

Bottom line, you can crave as much, and where ever you like, as long as you know where you eat, then you are ok.
If this is stays an issue then you may, want to think about leaving.

Answer 8

If hes even telling you he wants to sleep with this other women, his feet are already out the door. Dont try to hang onto something that is not there. It may sound harsh but if he even says this, he cannot possibly be committed to your marriage. It seems hes eager to be with the other woman!
The only hope is if he is willing to go to counselling with you, then maybe theres still a chance.

Answer 9

Sounds like he thinks the grass is greener. I don't know you or him but, if it were me, he already made his choice and he wouldn't be able to come back.

And telling him his kid was crying for him is not the reason he should come back. if he came back for that, it wouldn't be for you, so it wouldn't be good. Just tell him go ahead do your own thing but I won't be here waiting when your done. And if he tells you he's not coming back, don't cry (save that for later) and tell him thanks for the child support and alimony, me and the new great guy I find will be happy to have dinner's and movies on you.

Answer 10

why in the world would your husband invite another woman to spend the night in YOUR home, You tell him its either her or you, there is no in between, sounds to me he was hoping to get her over for a little 3 way get together, and if you let that happen, you have lost your husband. Best thing for you to do, is get your marriage under control.

Answer 11

His behavior is unexcusable. He doesn't respect you at all. You're not overreacting, you're absolutely right, lady, he's almost cheating on you right in your face. Give him an ultimatum: or you, or his friend, you cannot be humiliated more. If things have reached a point where there is no love left, if he gives a damn about your feelings, divorce him, lady, your child will thank you later. You surely deserve better.