Do you think chivalry is demeaning towards women?

Question

Do you think that acts like opening doors for women actually emphazies the differences in gender and equality? It is chivalrous for guys to open doors for guys as well?

Answer 1

No but feminists say so. Treat ladies like ladies and feminists like men.

Answer 2

Absolutely not. If anything it is the exact opposite.
Warning: Historic content ahead.
What the English speakers call Chivalry is based on the code of conduct followed by French knights, the 'Chevaler'. These kinghts were expected, at all times, to be brave, fair and courteous.

The knights of the era were the sport stars of the day. Well off, property owners and carried a great deal of power in their territories in peace time. Imagine an NFL superstar with the influence of a state senator. In addition to the knights being served by the people of their lands, the knights were there to protect and serve the locals. The knight places himself in the role of servant when a door is opened or assists a lady up or down steps. The theory was to help the knight be a little more modest and less obnoxious.

Its not that door openers believe that a woman is incapable of opening their own door, but probably he holds women in a high value. At that moment, a total stranger is taking time out of his day to do something kind for someone that he has never met, and will most likely never see again. Then there are the 'player' types that will try to incorporate a cheesy try at a pick up making it suspect for the ones with no foul intentions. As long as it is done with true chivalry in mind...it is not demeaning. However without fail a kind deed will eventually find someone who is outraged by it.

Consider this. These days big shots have to pay people to do chivalrous acts for them. Buildings hire doormen to open doors, carry goods, help with a step up or down, or hail a cab. I'm quiite certain that this is not done to demean people. Some hate it, some love it, and the rich and famous demand it.

Guys open door for other guys to set them up for being tripped or to kick them in the bottom of the foot.

Answer 3

I open doors for women, anyone older than I am and for anyone carying something. The first two are signs of respect the third something you do just to help out.
Chivalry could be thought of as more than opening doors. The idea that it is demeaning seems to come from the beleif that women could not do the action or take care of themselves so men have to be chivalrous because of women's weaknesses.
Now you can find people who have written statements like that especially when you go back into history. However, a modern male is likely being chivalrous towards a woman for one of the following reasons. 1. He was taught while growing up that this is the way they are supposed to behave to show respect as opposed to calling them B#%$^@ in a pop song. 2. They think the woman is attractive and want to make a good impression. This is also a compliment although different than respect it has nothing to do with a beleif in inferiority. 3. While women have been given expanded roles and greater opportunity, men in many situations which they must interact with women have not been given an alternative set of guidelines or rules. Many women expect us to know what we should do but we can't read minds and have not been given any respectable alternatives for social interaction other than chivalry.
Ultimately if a woman feels demeaned by a chivalrous act of a man it is her interpretation, cognition, or thoughts about the act that is demeaning. Any speculation as to why the many did what he did is entirely an invention in the other persons mind unless the specificaly ask or the man tells her what he ment by the action. One of the flaws of some women's studies theories and literature is that they seem to be based on the assumption that men wake up in the morning and say to themselves "how can I opress women today?" In fact many men spend a lot of their time thinking about how to care for support or help their wives, daughters, mothers and others. It seems incomprehesible that good deeds or services freely given by men would be labled as something bad or opressive because it is labled chivalrous. While women throughout history have had few or no rights at many times and were even considered property at many times. The lives of men where for the most part not a great deal better. "A majority of men live lives of quit desperation." Men were owned by their soveriegn, their slave master, the ship captain that impressed them into service or their employer who made it impossible to leave such as the company towns and stores of the coal mines.
Basically if someone does something nice or performs a small service like opening a door, it might be best to just say thank you and not create some imaginary scenario of why they did something nice.

IMHO

Answer 4

no..i dont think it is demeaning. i think it is polite.

demeaning would be slamming the door in a woman's face.

chivalry can be applied to both genders as far as im concerned.

a man has tried slamming a door in my face. and in anger i hit the door before it could slam. lol he looked at me like i had grown horns. and the slamming was uncalled for. i had done nothing to warrant his doing that.

i have never gotten angry because a man held a door open for me. in fact i would think it would be adorable if a man would actually run to hold a door open for me.

Answer 5

I personally like to open all the doors myself because I like getting the exercise. But I let them open the door for me and then I say thank you.

Some men were taught that it is polite and respectful so it would be obtuse for me to scold them for doing that.

On the other hand, I don't get upset if a man doesn't give me the right away, either. But sometimes I get pissed that I get stuck being the door monitor.

Does anyone know how that hole door opening thing got started? I think the real reason that whole thing started was because women were thought to be too weak and encumbered. So yeah, that is a little demeaning I guess.

Answer 6

I think there's a difference between good manners, which should be employed regardless of gender, and "chivalry", which is an outdated set of morals and rules meant to dictate courtly relationships between knights and their "ladies", the ideal of this being a romantic, non-sexual intercourse.

Answer 7

I personally think so, since it implies that we can't do these small things — opening doors, etc. — for ourselves, or that we shouldn't, because we're women. I try to avoid it as best as I can. Today when I was out with my guy friend, I'd open a door for him, and he'd open one for me. It was pretty well-balanced.

Answer 8

So the next time a guy allows a door to slam in your face you will not be offended? Or the next time it is raining and you are caught in it and a guy doesn't offer to at least share his cab you will not be upset? I feel that thinking like yours is why this country is turning into a bunch of selfish ingrates.

Answer 9

Opening doors is a sign of good manners and upbringing and should be done to anyone at that point in time-its just the reverse of barging through the door and pushing people and it should not be looked at from a gender perspective

Answer 10

Men will always open doors for women they like and nice men do it for everyone.

Answer 11

Feminism has 'taught' the world that opening doors for women and the like is bad, evil and just plain wrong.

I still do it though, for men & women alike...

I like to be noted as a gentleman - I just wish there were a few ladies instead of the yobs.