Married 26yrs but have not always lived together. My husband turned 60 in June. In July we had discussed living together again. We were dating on a regular basis and were still intimate. This anniversary is the 1st one we have not spent the day together. 2 weeks later he told me he met someone. "It just happened". Helpful ideas for saving this relationship would be appreciated.
2007-12-08 14:30:16 · 17 answers · asked by merbuns 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Saving or resurrecting?
2007-12-08 14:41:01 · answer #1 · answered by nonlinear 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Lets think about this.... You have had a strange relationship for 27 yrs. And now he tells you he has found someone new. Is this the first time this has happened, I mean cheated on you. Sometimes you think that you really need this person and you try everything you can to save your marriage. But in the end you realize that you did nothing but create hell for yourself. You are better than that. You deserve someone that will love you 24 hours a day 7 days a week, not when it is convenient for him.
2007-12-08 22:57:12 · answer #2 · answered by sueslangford 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure what kind of relationship you have really, You say you've been married 26yrs but have not lived together but dating and intimate.
How long did you plan to have this kind of relationship with him? Apparently you really didn't have a real marriage and you weren't living together so I guess he moved on and forgot to tell you. I think that is a horrible thing but honestly I think you should worry more about moving on yourself then trying to save this relationship.
2007-12-08 22:42:03 · answer #3 · answered by frustrated 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know its hard 26 years is such a long time but why live with it any longer. There are better men out there that will treat you so much better then him. He is in this for himself not for you. If he loved you he would be there all the time not just some of the time and would never let something just happen. Move on you can't keep worrying and living your life for this man who has no heart anyway. Good luck hun.
2007-12-08 23:07:36 · answer #4 · answered by Lou Lou 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So sad, but I think you will have to let it run it's course, he has just meet her, give him time for him to discover the warts, and lets hope the memory of your past,will guide him through, it is so sad that we do not appreciate what we had till we lost it, for you may be all is not lost, as they say if you love something let it go free, if it does not come back it was never yours, try to keep a busy social life and a positive outlook, you may not get him back but you may meet someone better to spent future good times
2007-12-08 22:44:41 · answer #5 · answered by Loretta M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, you can't push him into giving this woman up but there are ways to show him how you feel and to see if this 'other female' is just a new exciting momentary thrill for him. Suggest you check out a website that may assist you both
2007-12-09 00:58:04 · answer #6 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you two covenant spouses? This is important to know. If the two of you are NOT covenant spouses, then your marriage is not valid in God's eyes and it is best to be divorced. If the two of you are covenant spouses, then you need to learn to stand for your marriage and for your husband.
Please check out Bob and Charlyne Steinkamp. They have a restored marriage after being divorced for about two years. They have a website and send devotionals everyday encouraging men and women to stand for their marriage and their spouse's salvation. Check out their archives.
https://rejoiceministries.org/devotion.php
Check out this website for midlife crisis. They also have chats several times a week. http://www.midlife.com/
I highly recommend that you sign up for Doreen's Devotionals called Doreen's Daily Delights.. These are awesome. http://marriagerestorationministries.org/
Here's another website for people standing for their marriages. There is chat every Friday night. http://www.faithandmarriage.com/
Check out Jimmy and Karen Evans. They have a weekly tv show that discusses marriage. Their shows are on the internet that you can watch. Jimmy is excellent. Jimmy gives very practical guides on how to have a successful marriage. http://www.marriagetoday.org/
Also check out this link concerning divorce and remarriage. I think you will be surprised. Many churches are blinded to the truth and even encourage people to divorce. Satan is tearing the church and marriages apart.
http://www.biblicalresearchreports.com/divorceandremarriage.php#hatedivorce
Good luck and God Bless!
2007-12-08 23:18:25 · answer #7 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah right, he tripped and stuck himself there. Adultery is not an easy thing to get past. Find out his intentions. Do you really want some one who has totally disrespected you?
2007-12-08 22:38:39 · answer #8 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you really want to save it??? If so, then go after him and get him back. Tell him no more open marriage. Remind him that YOU are his wife, and you want it to stay that way.
2007-12-08 22:39:06 · answer #9 · answered by sundsqk321@sbcglobal.net 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YOU REALLY DIDNT HAVE A MARRIAGE IF YOU LIVED A PART. ASK YOURSELF WHOS IDEAL IT WAS TO SEPERATE AND ASK YOURSELF WHAT WAS HE DOING LOOKING IF YOU HAD A MARRIAGE? YOU DONT JUST MEET SOMEONE...THINK ABOUT IT. GET A DIVORCE AND SOME COUNSELING.
2007-12-08 22:44:05 · answer #10 · answered by shebae 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋