I've been with the same boyfriend for 2 years. I LOVE him SO much, and he used to too. I just used to feel like I was the most amazing girl in the world to him. I don' feel like that anymore. He never grabs my hand, or if I try to grab his he acts like he doesn't want to hold it. Also if I'm mad at him about something, he doesn't want to talk out anymore and make it ok. Lately I feel taken for granted. He doesn't look at me the same way, and he tells me that he still loves me, but I always have to ask, or say it first. I never feel very secure with him anymore, which pushes him further away. We both are all each other has at college so I don't know if it's love or habit. I don't feel like I make him happy, and he does do sweet things like call me everyday, hug me, cook dinner with me, but it's like I still don't feel "loved." I can be too hard on him sometimes, but sometimes I fee like he doesn't truly love me, but it's just I'm so convenient. We also aren't as intimate. Suggestion?
2007-12-08 13:23:43 · 10 answers · asked by Consultant 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I guess he just acts so "numb," and he has for quite a while now. I haven't made him genuinely smile in so long, and I really miss that. He is coming to visit me on Christmas (i live 3 hours away when im not at college) and he went shopping with me for 3 hours just so he could get an idea of some things that i like for christmas.
2007-12-08 13:25:48 · update #1
go by your gut, i mean college is a very hard place to keepa relationship beacuse you're dealing with so many other things...maybe cut back and give him some space ya know let him hang with the guys and you meet freinds to hang out with, even though being around the one all the time is the best feeling in the world when it's a great relationship, we take for granted the personal space are partners need.
2007-12-08 13:35:54 · answer #1 · answered by LeLe ( RIP Bernie Mac) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. Men that start to act differently or lose interest especially in sex usually have someone on the side. I would definitely look into it a little further. But I think the best thing to do is not try to beg for his affection, you need to find some other interest so that you are not so consumed with whether or not he still loves you. If he loves you, you WILL know it and actions ALWAYS speak louder than words. Back off from him for a time and get a new perspective on yourself. Be strong and non-confrontational that is sure way to push him away from you. When a short time has passed and you have had some time to focus on yourself and not the relationship come back and ask him where he stands with you. You need to be sure and remain calm and collected. I hope you find your answers and I wish you the very best.
Love
Abi
2007-12-08 14:19:52 · answer #2 · answered by abigailbanksabi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be that he is having problems in school perhaps and it can also be that the relationship has become a matter of convenience. It sounds too like you may be suffering from insecurities regarding him and that is making him feel insecure As well. I will give you a site for life choices which may help you but you should also not push the relationship until after you both finish college because so many relationships that begin there fail when you are both out in the world working rather than going to school. Give him some space and concentrate on school for the time beingand if it is meant to be, he will still be there when you both graduate and then the relationship may be much stronger. ehceck out this webist with him and you may both benefit from it. Good Luck to you!!
2007-12-08 13:37:49 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am going to give you my honest opinion. As I was reading the first part of your posting, I felt as if he was maybe beginning to fall out of love with you, or becoming interested in someone else. I say this because it seems as if his attention towards you is becoming diverted. And that normally happens when someone is losing interest in their relationship, or gaining interest in someone else. Then as I was reading the second part of your posting, I saw that you stated that you can be hard on him at times, and that you two are in college. First off, a man is not going to appreciate you if you are always hard on him. That can actually make a man lose attraction for his woman. You say he does do sweet things. I'm guessing he's just not doing everything you want, how you want it done. Also being that you two are students, he could be going through some academic pressure as of now which could be why he's not as attentive. I would say your best bet would be to confront him with this, and discuss how you are feeling. Ask him how he is feeling about the relationship. Make sure you two are on the same page with eachother. And if you two are going to continue to make it work, you'll have to start being more understanding and not as demanding. Hope it helps.
2007-12-08 13:40:48 · answer #4 · answered by Phoenix 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship is at a crossroads right now. You need to take some time apart. See where that leads...Only time can really tell what you need, but it sounds like you're leaning towards ending it with him, only because you don't know anymore. It sounds like he doesn't either. But you are both at a point where this happens, two years. It seems many relationships go through this struggle. I know it did for me. But you should definitely step back and let yourselves remember what it was about the other that you love. If that works, then great. But don't forget that getting comfortable is what led to this problem. You need to surprise him sometimes. You need to show him-not tell him-what it is about you that he loves. He'll get the hint...
2007-12-09 03:39:35 · answer #5 · answered by Tim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I think it sounds like is that he has become 'comfortable' He is just assuming that you know he loves you and so he doesn't express it like he use to when he thought he had to earn your love or make you notice him. He knows you love him, as you said. Maybe try asking him if that is what it is and if that is why he acts the way he is now rather than say how he acted a year ago?
2007-12-08 13:35:47 · answer #6 · answered by Uncertain_One 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be too hard on him, sounds like he is a wonderful guy, you just need a way to communicate to each other, ask him gently without getting all emotional if you two can talk about the frustrations that you have in your heart, maybe he will talk, express to him how important this is to you and maybe he will open up.
2007-12-08 13:32:00 · answer #7 · answered by stepintostep 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sure due to your long distatnce relationship, he's taken interest in another girl. it sounds like he's not in love w/ you anymore...the best thing to do is distance yourself. do not try to over compensate to make it work. when you go into overdrive, it turns them off even more. you have to show him that you will b perfectly fine wether he's comming or going. it just sounds very much like he's gotten bored w/ the relationship. when a guy loves you, he wants to be affectionate, & you dont have coax him into saying he loves you. it seems like the whole thing has become work 2 him, & when it feels like work, then your heart is not in it. when its in it, the love & affection flows naturally. he cares about you so offcourse he doesnt want to hurt u...bt i personally think he's already left the relationship! gd lck!
2007-12-08 13:48:34 · answer #8 · answered by Johnnie's cash🌴🌙☂✈ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are so hard on him maybe he doesnt know the best way to deal with it without hurting your feelings so he retreats within himself and just sails on to avoid any confrontation.
let him take the lead in the relationship
2007-12-08 13:33:55 · answer #9 · answered by bravo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i htink you are looking way into it... he sounds like he loves you a lot
2007-12-08 13:28:13 · answer #10 · answered by Van G 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋