The darkest secret of my life!?

Question

Just an hour ago I shared my darkest secret with my husband after 3 years of marriage, I told him that I was raped when I was just 7 years old and the person who did it was his best friend. The problem is that my husband just stops talking whenever he's upset and now he's doing the same thing and I am wondering did I do the right thing telling him my secret since he's always inviting his friend over to our house and I hate him to death. I have never told anyone this secret and I feel like I should've never told him.

Answer 1

You did the right thing. You shouldn't have to be around anyone who did something like that to you. Do you think he's mad at you or that he's upset at his friend? Is your husband's friend much older than you? He shouldn't be mad at you, he probably wishes he had known sooner though. I understand why you didn't tell him; that's a hard thing to talk about.

Answer 2

WOW... I can only imagine the courage it took to tell your husband. The fact this happened when you were 7 determines alot. Was his best friend the same age as you? if so it would be looked at as curosity. Now had he been a few years older, yeah thats a bad thing, even worse if this person is an adult. Was this person your husbands best friend before marriage? if so this should have been brought out a little earlier. I have so much to say, but you need to give the time frame and ages of everyone in this case. please send me a email with this information. i would really lvoet o help you out!

Answer 3

Wow, you sure did the right thing. I can't imagine why you waited so long to do it, what were you thinking? If you were 7 how old was he? If he was much older, that is a very serious charge.

Never let this creep in your home again and tell him to keep his distance in public.

I certainly hope your husband will do the right thing and cut off all communication with him.

Did you ever report what he did? You know he will probably do it again, he is a child molester. I strongly suggest you report this to the authorities, you may just save another child from getting raped.

I am proud of you that you finally got this out in the open, you did the right thing. Now go one step further.

Answer 4

Well you know your husband best, but I think it's good that you told him. I don't think spouses should have secrets from each other. He's probably in a state of shock right now so it's understandable that he's not talking about it. Again, I don't know your husband but if I was in your situation right now, I'd let him be, give him time to adjust to what you just said, and then ask him how he feels about what you told him.

:)

Answer 5

wow, i really dont know if i can give you good advice on this, but I'll try,
your husband needed to know that, and his friend should get a rape charge by the police, but I know that is hard. My best friend had that happen to her when she was I think 6, by her stepdad, and she said she didnt know what to do, but she finally told someone about it and her stepdad is in jail, she is alot more comfortable with talking about it now, but, its a good thing you were able to tell him. and Im sure he is just shocked and upset with his friend, and its not your fault, and atleast you probably wont have to see him around any more. I think you should try to speak with your husband again, and help him understand it more.
i really hope I helped, Im soo so so so soooo sorry about what happened to you, especially at such a young age. but just move on from it, and try to help your husband move on too

-MayuneSpirit

Answer 6

He is probably in shock and doesn't believe you right now. It's hard to believe someone you've known for such a long time could do that. My sister said my dad raped her when we were kids and I didn't talk to her for a long time after she made the accusation. Now I love her and talk often to her but I'm still not sure of the truth. If you can't absolutely prove it then your husband will probably always have doubts.

Answer 7

Why didn't you tell him before you were married ?
If his friend/the accused was never tried or charged for the crime, does anyone else know about this ? How deceiving were you to your husband ? Did you also, not tell your husband, that you had a child, when you were 13 ?
If he was any kind of a man, he would confront his friend, ask him his version, then throw him out ! (or kick his a%#)

Answer 8

It sounds like your husband is dealing with alot of emotions right now. Give him some space and let him process what you have told him. Try talking about it again tomorrow. You had to tell him. It's natural to feel like you shouldn't have told but please know that you did the right thing. Good luck.

Answer 9

i think it was a very good thing you told him!! cause now he can tell his friend to stay away from you! i would of done that in a heart beat...... i think if you wouldv'e waited any longer there probably be a conflict...im not married im only a teenager and i don't have any experience with that but i have had a lot of boyfriends and i think it was a VERY GOOD i dea that you told him!! so don't be down on yourself cause he's mad... he's probably mad at his friend for doing that to you and still coming over when he didn't know about it...

Answer 10

I'm sorry and you told him because you trust your husband and wanted him to know right? so I don't think you should regret. But I seriously want your husband's friend to go to the jail. If your husband is mad at you, then that's very wrong, but I think he's mad at your friend. He has right to be angry at his friend. And I can't believe he has nerve to show up in your house every time!! now I'm pissed! even though I'm not related.