I am a mother of four beautiful daughters. I divorced their father two years ago and we have no formal visitaion in place. Our girls are 17,15,12 and 7. They all long to spend time with their father and are visibly upset because he never seems to follow through with his planned visits and is always disappointing them. They see he has time for his girl friends children but not for them and it hurts meto see them hurt, every time he lets them down.
My 7 year old wrote her father a letter that brought tears to my eyes. She said, Daddy, I miss you and love you? Do you miss and love me to? Are you ok, daddy? Do you need help? Call me, here is our number (XXX) XXX-XXXX. Daddy remeber you promised to take me to mc donalds? Can you still take me? I love you daddy and miss you. Please come over. In the past I have gone out of my way to inform him of our dauughters sucesses and other issues related to them but now I realize It was a waiste of energy on my part. What would you do?
2007-12-08 11:48:20 · 6 answers · asked by DEBRATT1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you couldn't fix him when you were married to him, you sure can't fix him now. He makes his decisions, and it is unfortunate that he can't make time for his daughters ---- they are picking up the tab for whatever his issues are.
Be supportive and encouraging and sympathetic to your daughters. They will have to find their own way with their father and unfortunately you have very little ability to influence that process....it is up to them and him.
Good luck, I am sorry for your daughters.....if he was my brother I would slap him silly for behaving like a moron.
2007-12-08 11:53:56 · answer #1 · answered by George 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can't force someone to care for and love other people. And, it sounds like your EX has a large dose of self-centeredness. If you see that it's affecting this kids, you might want to consider couseling for them. Other than that, it's hard to talk to an idiot like your ex.
2007-12-08 13:35:31 · answer #2 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mail the letter and tell the kids to wait and ask their dad when he has time for them.
You don't have to cover for him, but you don't have to be mean either. So when they ask, where's daddy? Tell them you don't know, hand them the phone and let them call and ask him themselves. They're old enough.
And no, you can't force him to see them. You can only force him to pay child support if he has a job.
2007-12-08 11:53:23 · answer #3 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The question I ask you is why would you want to. He is a dead beat dad. I would not force this on the children. It would hurt them more because they would know that he is being forced.
No, you cannot court order him.
2007-12-08 11:58:58 · answer #4 · answered by Babe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you cant force him and why try??? It would be more damaging to them for him to be forced to be around kids he is not interested in parenting............not fathering........PARENTING!!!!!!!!!! He is going to deeply regret abandoning his own daughters.
Put them in counseling and pray for the best.
2007-12-08 11:56:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no
2007-12-08 11:50:45 · answer #6 · answered by timbo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋