My husband yells at me?

Question

My husband has a very short temper and shouts at me a lot. Many times in public.
For example, we might be walking down the street and I'll say something to argue with him or tell him he's wrong about something, and he'll start to shout, then he'll push the stroller (with our little girl in it) forward in rage, and storm off, leaving me by myself and the stroller.
I'm so embarassed, especially if there are other people around.

And about 10 minutes ago, he got mad at me because I was cooking and left the window open so that the smell goes away. He says it's too cold outside and he's freezing to death, and started yelling at me.
I got mad and didnt say anything to him except for a dirty look.
Then he says, "I've had it! I'm out of here". He got dressed and stormed off outside.

What should I do?

Answer 1

We teach people how to treat us.....you have let him get away with it. Stand up for yourself!

Answer 2

It sounds like he is overwhelmed, If you have 4 kids and you are a stay home mom. It is very hard for him to admit that he is trying to handle everything from the mortgage to a new outfit for the kids. I don't think the angry part is directed at you but you are his support relief value since he can't take it out anywhere else. I can understand that feeling of pressure without any relief. Maybe to help him relax don't ask or talk about everything the first thing even though you want to tell him. He needs to decompress a bit from his day. Added pressure of school he sounds like he is trying to up his career and maintain his family. Sometimes it seems that his efforts like plugging his fingers in a dam that is about to blow at anytime. Understanding the problem is part of the solution. He might feel like no one understands what he is doing and working then trying to take classes is a lot... been there and done that...

Answer 3

I'm with WarGames AM -- counselling STAT.

I'm going through something right now that's a bit similar with my wife and I don't want the relationship to end, so I'd like counselling (individual & couple). If he wants to maintain the relationship and have it grow positively, then offer that option to him. Does he have anyone other than you to really talk to? Men tend to not talk too in-depth about their feelings with each other, so hopefully he can find an anonymous forum or anger group that he can feel comfortable in without burdening you. I bet the anger he has inside has at least 95% nothing to do with you; you're just the only person he trusts enough to let it out with, but he's directing it at you instead.

Answer 4

If you intend to stay with him, then you need to not tell him he wrong in public or "say something to argue with him." We all have buttons, if you know what his are, don't push them. A dirty look is as good as saying something. Maybe he does have a bad temper, and maybe you set him off on purpose for some reason. If you feel he is dangerous, than you get your little girl, and leave. But if he is reacting to some game you are playing, and you really do love him and want to stay with him, take a look at yourself and what you are doing.

Answer 5

Have the necessary stuffed packed for you and your daughter and hide it...next time he does this and storms off, make sure he's gone and then get the heck outta dodge! A husband shouldn't yell at you for such minor things. Your child shouldn't be in the middle of this either. Hope everything works out.

Answer 6

First of all you married this man and you should have known that he had a short temper by now you should be use to him and try not to start and argument with him in public since you are embarrassed by the way he acts. Than you were cooking and left the window open and he complained about being cold and got mad and stormed out of the house it appears to me that he wanted to start and argument just to go out side instead of just going out in the first place stop feeding into his crap.

best of luck

Answer 7

He yells and has temper tantrums because you allow him to act like a big baby.

You have to wait until he is really calm one day (the sooner the better) and say in a very upbeat tone that when he screams you cant understand what he is saying anyways so going forward you are going to tune him out.

Answer 8

Counseling. STAT.

Yelling at you is intimidating and disrespectful. He sounds extremely volatile, and that cannot make for a healthy relationship. He needs anger management, and you both need counseling.

Good luck to you.

Answer 9

I know exactly what you are going through. His temper is a form of abuse. Its verbal abuse . Its disrespect. Its dangerous. He could lead into hurting your child and its not healthy for any one , adult or child to be exposed to this. Do you have someone to talk to that knows him? Like a parent or one of his siblings? One of his friends? I am saying this , just because I know if you try to talk to him , he will blow up in your face and the conversation wont help. But can you get someone else to help you talk to him. Your relationship is dangerous, unhealthy , and you shouldn't have to live with this. He needs help. If he refuses to change and /or get help. you need to leave him .

Answer 10

Lets see. He stormed outside? Change the locks. Call the police when he comes back trying to get in.
Get rid of him. There is no other choice.

Answer 11

You intentionally argue with him and you think HE has the problem? It is late fall- shut the window, and stop manipulating him.

Okay he shouldnt treat your child like that for any reason, but are you looking to intentionally set the guy off? He may need to control himself but so do you. If he's wrong about something AND its important, events will bear that out.