do abusive husbands love their wifes?

Question

what are they thinking?

Answer 1

I think husbands are abusive when they get to over protective, sadly =(

Answer 2

I would say it depends on what type of personality disorder the abusive spouse has. If he is just replaying what he was taught growing up there may be a chance that he just doesn't know how to love a person without hurting them. Otherwise in cases such as those who have ASPD (anti-social personality disorder), Narcissistic, Psychopathic or Sociopathic personalities, they do not have the ability to empathize or sympathize with others. They are very good at mimicry and manipulating others' feelings and thoughts to get what they want. Those that do have disorders like the ones I mentioned earlier do not have the ability to love their wives, they only love what their wife does or might do for them.

Answer 3

In many cases im sure they beleive they do, however the psychology behind the acts of abuse cange from one abuser to the next. Many may not, they may just enjoy the power and control over women, enjoy domination of another. Some act in ways that they dont honestly beleive they would, hence after attacks many are so ashmed and show remorse because they may 'love' their wife but unconsciusly harbour some cognitions, desires that cause them to do this behaviour. Some abusers have suffered abuse from their parents etc in the past, or witnessed their parents commit it on each other and so they form what they believe to be a wrongful perception of a relationship..

Answer 4

Its not like that - you dont know unless you have been there. No guy hits you on the first date he wears you down gradually because despite what you think men like this are really clever. You wake up eventually thinking that no one else cares about you ( he has by this point convinced you that you dont really fit in with your friends and family and they are all just using you anyway). So your life is him and nothing else. When he hits you he convinces you that you have done something to wind him up and if you were a bit more like he wanted you to be. It is not an illness is it having all your self esteem and self confidence taken away from you. I went from being the life and soul of any room to being someone who was too scared to leave the house during the day. I gave up a job I loved and was good at because he convinced me the panic attacks I was having (which started after he started to abuse me - mentally and physically) were going to get in the way of me doing my job. 24/7 I was in the house with him and he would pick anytime to lash out and start an arguement with me. I am a funny person but if I tried to have a laugh with him he would laugh along at the time but a few days later he would go on about it starting off laughing (with a sharks smile on his face) until I was on the floor begging him to stop kicking me. I knew I had to leave when I was booked into the hospital in a few months time to get a cyst removed - I would have been at his mercy whilst I was recovering and I was really scared at what he would do. The doctors had already told me I was not allowed to have sexual intercourse for 6 weeks after my operation and he basically said that it was his choice whether this would happen. A few weeks later he pointed a gun in my face. I left him while he was at the shops - managed to break a lock and get a person from a womans refuge to get me (while I had been at a hospital appointment I had managed to get hold of leaflet). When I was taken to the refuge I had to go out and get my own groceries and I didnt know what food I liked. I always said I would never let a man hit me and now I m a shadow of my former self. You can never judge until you have been there - it can happen to anybody. I am building my life back up but I will never be the person I used to and that is what breaks my heart.

Answer 5

You would, to achieve an answer, have to ask these husbands individually what their answers are.

Having their answers, you'd then have to ask yourself as to whether you believe the answers.

How do you / we 'measure Love'? To answer that, you'd have to construct some kind of criteria ~ which would in turn have to stand scrutiny and the challenges of others who each had their own criteria.

Again, it is a matter of 'measuring the immeasurable', partly because there is no actual definition of Love and, to what level of the Richter Scale does ones love for another sit.

It came as a 'shock' to me when a solicitor used the words, 'by the act of Natural Love', a 50% portion of my wifes' home was legally signed over to my name. It made me see or become fully aware (I believe) in an additional, external dimension and dynamic of our relationship.

Sash.

Answer 6

Boy did you open a can of worms!
Spousal abuse is (in my opinion) related to the abusers own insecurities and need to feel in control, it affects all walks of life and is very definitely hazardous to your health. Statistics show the violence will escalate and unless and until the abuser seeks and follows through with a treatment plan the prognosis is bleak...remember what happened to Willie Nelson? he used to get drunk and abusive with his wife till one day she had enough he passed out, she sewed him up in the bedsheets and beat him with a frying pan!

Answer 7

Its a relationship with emphasis on power and domineering.Demands of the body are all consuming routine but no necessarily everlasting love...Abusive relationship is rather pathetically excuse for love!?

Answer 8

I don't think so but I know the wife must love him if she stays with a guy like that

Answer 9

I doubt so. If they love their wives, then why are they so disrespectful, so hurtful to their wives in the first place? Well they may be, initially, but I guess the rest is history. If they really love their wives, they have to get themselves some serious treatment, because there is definitely some psychiatric disorder somewhere.

Answer 10

i don't think they do, as they probably have never become emotionally developed enough to be able to love another person enough to not verbally, phsyically, mentally abuse them. this may come from personal abuse to them or mental problems, or as with my ex being treated with so much preference (the boy can do no wrong) that he saw no problem with using anyone for whatever he wanted including his parents. Although it seems that it's only his partners that he hit.