I am jealous of women. They seem to be able to have so many friends, to be able to have real close friends that they can tell everything to. I wish I had this too. My only real close friend is my wife. How can a man develop close friends like women do?
2007-12-08 11:09:52 · 10 answers · asked by mk_gecko 2 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
I don't see myself as nurturing. I am more reflective and analytical, I understand emotions and am sensitive to others - which is why my wife likes me. I don't see any point in watching sports and don't like going to bars.
2007-12-09 03:01:57 · update #1
Of course I am delighted that my wife is my best friend. I just think that it would be better if I had two or three close guy friends as well.
No, I am not going to befriend women. I find it easy to do (I'm a good listener), but it is too dangerous. I don't want to share my emotions and struggles with another woman. That's how affairs start.
(but thanks for the answers).
P.S. I realise that there are also women who don't have close friends. Sorry.
2007-12-09 03:06:56 · update #2
EDITED TO SAY: What about finding a group of like minded guys ~ either online or IRL, who also share the desire to discuss things at a deeper level? Not all guys are interested in sport, etc, and in fact even if they are they may also want to discuss religion, politics, emotions, etc ...
I know my SIL has said the same sorts of things you are saying. He is also a thinker and one who likes to consider deep issues, talk through emotional matters, etc, yet most of his male friends are uncomfortable about this.
He is looking for, but has not yet found, a group of like-minded guys in his area, and is now considering starting something, like a discussion group or 'book club' for guys (a lot of the club things women belong to are basically soaial groups with an added purpose).
Another place to look would be organisations like Greenpeace or Amnesty International (not saying those ones, particularly, it could be a church organisation if you are religious), where guys who are a bit more interested in deper issues would be more likely to hang out.
~*~*~*~
It's up to men to choose the type of friendships they have.
Women are said to invest a lot of time and personal energy in their friends, talking with them about personal issues, thoughts and feelings. Typically, guys are said to prefer to watch sport together, are competitive and avoid 'touchy feely' topics.
However, what we are talking about are really stereotypes ~ people have many different kinds of friendships, in all kinds of ways. Not every female friendship is a loving and nururing place, and some men know more about their mate's hardships than many women do about their friends.
As for being best friends with your wife, I hear this all the time. I know my partner is my best friend, and my husband was my closest friend while he was alive.
Most people do seem to say their life partner is their closest friend. It makes sense to me ~ if you love someone enough to want to be with them all the time, why wouldn't you like them enough to be best friends?
BUT, maybe it touches on something else, too ~ we usually trust our life partner in a very deep, intimate way ... maybe trust is the real key to friendship!
Cheers :-)
2007-12-08 11:29:05 · answer #1 · answered by thing55000 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I used to have close male friends. It just seemed to sort of happen. But like you, my best friend is now my wife. Although I still keep up with three or four of my old male friends, none of them live nearby, so I might not have contact with them more than a few times a year. I still think of them as friends, but not in the way that my wife has friends. I don't know if it is the way that men are socialized or what. Other than to put yourself in proximity with other men - a team, a club, an organization - where you might find like-minded men , I'm not sure.
2007-12-08 12:26:09 · answer #2 · answered by c'mon, cliffy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hold that contrary to popular belief, the spectrum of sexual identity is not as cut-and-dried as straight/bi/gay. There are many shades in between. The Kinsey scale ranges from 0 to 6, "zero" being exclusively heterosexual and "six" being exclusively homosexual. Perhaps you rate as a 1, 2 or 3. Having infrequent feelings for (or even some experiences with) the same sex does NOT make you incontrovertibly gay. If it becomes and everyday thing and you find yourself less and less attracted to women, I'd say that you're gay. If you grow to find both women AND men attractive and exciting, you're bisexual to some degree ("some degree" being the operative term in that sentence.) Is it wrong that you primarily like women but have feelings for your friend? No. And feeling guilty or bad about it simply means you are influenced by the narrow-mindedness of our label-and-pigeonhole society. Be who you are. Knowing your true self is never a bad idea.
2016-05-22 05:35:17 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if it is any easier for women to have close, great friends as it is for men. Close friends are hard to come by for any gender. So your issues is just the general difficulty in finding "true friends" I know many girls that back stab and gossip and literally betray their "close friends". Or not be loyal to them through the thick and thin. That applies for male friends as well betraying or being more as "fair weather" friends. There are many fair weather friends, but not as many that are there for you for great adversities and their supporting you.
I have friends, but only two close friends out of the bunch. It's not that I don't like them or they aren't good, but one friend was there through all the adversity I have been through and that is why I joke how he is like my older brother, because we are so close like brothers and he looks out for me like an older brother, even though he is only a year older.
2007-12-08 11:45:59 · answer #4 · answered by Brennan Huff 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Women usually develop close relationships because of the nurturing nature of women. Men are gregarious, and generally do not share their innermost feelings to their male friends lest they appear less macho. You have to keep trying and see if there is someone who is like you and maybe youll find him
2007-12-08 13:15:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Befriend women.
2007-12-08 14:57:31 · answer #6 · answered by ArAmG 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
we do want friends but we shy away cause men are just as sensitive a women that's why its hard to keep friends its hard for us to trust
2007-12-08 13:08:05 · answer #7 · answered by Allen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why do you need so many close male friends...are you emotional all the time....?
Are you a NASY - New age sensitive guy 'type'?
2007-12-08 12:51:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
wow i dont know im a woman and dont have friends
2007-12-08 11:13:42 · answer #9 · answered by nikki 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
hmmm good quest.
2007-12-08 11:26:40 · answer #10 · answered by Lucy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋