Can someone explain to me?

Question

If so many marriages run into problems in 1, 2, 5, 10, even 20 years down the road,

if it wasn't true love, why did they get married in the first place? if it was true love, why would they experience problems?

Answer 1

People change over time,as way mature our outlook on life, values and sense of self can change.Unfortunately sometimes couples grow apart as a result, just because you love a person does not mean you like them or have the same values and opinions as them.

There are couples who married because they felt they had to or did it for the wrong reasons yet over time are able to grow to love & respect each other to the point of total devotion and there are couples who when they married were "made of each other" and yet after time being apart is the better choice for them. A family is happy when all members are happy, if Mom & Dad fight all the time the kids suffer and in the end can have warped ideas of love and relationships.

Then of course there are the couples who part because of abuse,infidelity or deception just to name a few reasons.Sometimes you just don't know the person you married as well as you think, sometimes people will hide things from others until the ring is on the finger.

Your question is valid it is sad that so many people choose divorce over the hard work it takes to get over the bad times..but remember there was a time when divorce was not an option and spouses and families were treated horribly, to the point that even if the police were called in they did nothing because it was a "Domestic problem" which meant none of there business.

Being honest to yourself and partner from the very beginning is the best way to start a relationship on a solid foundation and promise to one another that you will try and be the best person you can.

Answer 2

Sometimes, unfortunately, love is not enough to get through the problems they share. Sometimes people get married because they are truly in love but people change...I know I'm a different person than I was a few years ago. I have different values. Sometimes people can be so great together as a couple but once they're living together, they learn many new things about the other that they can't handle. These are things that can make marriages run into problems, whether good reasons or bad. There is just no one answer to that though.

Answer 3

Well, if it IS true love, it will not fail no matter what may come its way....you'll naturally have ups and downs but at the end of each day, you both love and adore each other...1, 2, 5, 10 and even 20 years down the road....
the truth is, you really DONT know, until you go through stages of life. Personally, i thought i had "the one" i believed it was true and then we got married, and three years later, i divorced him because the love weakened and failed, i learned that it was not "true"....it's a struggle to find "true" love and i'm not saying go out there and get married to see if it's right....it's just complicated but worth it if you learn your own way... im only 23 and i truly believe "the one" is out there....but i just live day by day....
good luck and remember....the right one will experience problems with you too...but it will not be stronger than your love...if it is true...

Answer 4

Relationships don't work they way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won't they? And then they finally do, and they're happy forever. Gimme a break.

Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway.

Bottom Line: it's couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down.

One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something.

Answer 5

I believe it is because people are not completely honest with themselves when they are dating. They think that the other person will change, or they think that they can live with a problem or just deal with it, and get used to it.

Or people live together, and sleep together, and have kids, and they just feel obligated after a while to get married. People have all kinds of reasons and excuses to cover up what was originally just lust and search for true love. It is time for people to be completely open and honest with thierselves in relationships. TRUE true love is hard to find, but if you are patient and truthful, it does come. "Till death do us part" needs to be focused on again!

Answer 6

Marriage goes through stages and romantic love has to turn into commitment. There will be sameness and less mystery after awhile, plus there will always be low points that have to be worked through. Many people these days just expect everything to stay the same, or for marriage to be easy. But it isn't a fairy tale, too often they can't deal with that and it is easy to get out when times get rough and try to start over with someone else.

Answer 7

There is no one answer that would answer ALL situations. People get married for many many reasons - and get divorced for many many reasons. Bear in mind that one can be in love WITH someone and NOT belong with them! A mature person could make this evaluation ahead of time. also, True love does not mean NO problems....

Answer 8

Love does not equal easy. Love is the easy part it comes naturally maintaining a relationship that is where the work comes. See life gets in the way and people are generally a bit self centered so egos get in the way. Then you have moods, hormones, children, other family members, teenagers etc etc..........
If only marriage could be as easy as love.

Answer 9

In a marriage, respect, comprehension, forgiveness, empathy comes before love. Love is a selfish feeling on its own.

Answer 10

No two people are alike and are not going to agree on everything, everytime. If it was true love to begin with, one, or both of them lost sight of what is important.