okay, i have a high sex drive & this guy im with drives me crazy. I dont wanna just give myself up to him too soon but then again i want it.
we just met about 4 weeks ago and have been out on 2 dates, but we talk all day long via. computer/phone. He hasent came onto me at all (besides kissing me) and respects that i want to wait (cause i told him i did, when really i dont)
what should i do?
is this wrong?
and will he think differently of me?
i just want so much more with him like an actual long term relationship, and i dont want it to always be about sex if i finally engage in anything sexual with him.
2007-12-08 10:40:03 · 19 answers · asked by jessica <3 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Hi Jessica,
I understand you because I also have a high sex drive. However, I think it's better to wait - I am not talking about morally - I am talking about for the future of a long-term relationship. If you have sex too soon - then it's like you are strangers who have become intimate and then don't know what to do with the knowledge. It's better to get to know each other and to see if this guy really wants a long-term relationship and not just sex.
This is from my own experience and I hope this helps you.
2007-12-09 02:52:21 · answer #1 · answered by happy inside 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best step is not taking his word for STD, but both getting checked at a clinic, "just in case," as time goes by (one day, one month, a year, whatever) and you're both moving in that direction.
If you read much, "Soul Mates and Twin Flames," Elizabeth Clare Prophet, talks about initial attraction, what that means (the soul is moving up via sexuality, and when two people's likes facilitate each other's needs, that's "chemistry"). The long-term caring relationship is based on love, the mutual love you would experience sitting at a table together, not touching, not thinking about sex. If you haven't both felt this, you're in lust.
"Sexual Force or the Winged Dragon," O. M. Aivanhov, is also good.
best regards,
j.
2007-12-08 21:20:24 · answer #2 · answered by j153e 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All of your ideas about human sexuality are cultural. All of your inhibitions or lack there of are completely conditioned by your upbringing.
If you are concerned most about what 'you' will 'look like' to your culture then you will need to make your decisions based on that cultural model. If you are concerned about personal pleasure then you will do what you think will bring you that pleasure.
There really isn't anything anyone can tell you. You will do what you want and discover the outcome. Neither culture or pleasure is more valid. No one even knows why nature has built reproduction in this way.
Obviously your goal is NOT reproduction so you must choose which is more valuable to you, pleasure or culture.
2007-12-08 20:30:39 · answer #3 · answered by @@@@@@@@ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think its 2 soon u both just met
u need to follow ur heart do what u think is right
if u want to have sex with him yet he does not seems like he wants to
maybe he is waiting on u to make the first move
maybe he thinks it's too early
be brave tell him how u feel and maybe u both feel the same way.
2007-12-08 18:47:11 · answer #4 · answered by tami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be honest with him first. You told him one thing and he is respecting that. So just set the mood and then tell him your toughts and feelings. Just don't tell him out of the blue because you can catch him off which is never a good thing.
Just be honest and if there is a strong connection then it will move forward.
Good Luck to you.
2007-12-08 18:43:45 · answer #5 · answered by hazzone111 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The sex drive is very powerful and natural, it's the conditioning that is causing the problems. The union between two people is a very beautiful experience and is much more powerful and magic than almost all people know. : )
2007-12-08 18:53:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell him you didn't really mean what you said and get him into bed with you as fast as you can, silly. The rest will be history. Why the waiting, sex is something you do, and don't talk about, just do it... Blah. blah, blah... Yea he'll think differently of you, he will if you don't go to bed with him.
2007-12-08 18:49:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question! "I just WANT...an actual long term relationship...i DONT WANT it to always be about sex..." Your instincts are on the right track, follow dem instincts. Good-luck!
2007-12-08 19:35:45 · answer #8 · answered by hmmmm 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
before you do it ...have your next date at the doctor's office....the worst diseases are the ones you can't tell they have....be smart...because you don't get that night back after it happens....good luck on your decision....take your time and think it through....there is not a single piece of protection in this world %100....and that's real talk
2007-12-08 18:50:13 · answer #9 · answered by T B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just let it happen...wait until the time is right.if it comes at a awkward moment, he will think u r a freak
2007-12-08 18:43:11 · answer #10 · answered by patrickgardner1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋