I Lack Popularity?

Question

Okay Im 12 And Im In Middle School I Totally Lack Populartity And Need Adivce Own How I Can Find My Place In The School. One Problem Why I Cant Find Self Is Because Im Extreamly Shy And Have Social Problems. So Do I Have To Hang Around With The "Popular" Crowd Or Just Start My Own. Does My Persoanolilty Have To Change? I Just Need For Some One To Give Me Some Idvice For Somthing I Can Do To Do.

Answer 1

talk to people! ask to sit with people at lunch! strike a conversation! friendships start with being social! good luck!

Answer 2

Being popular requires you to be a friend to people. You don't have to change your personality, in fact that would be almost impossible, but you can learn to be friendly and thoughtful. I realize at your age that you probably see a certain crowd of people as being the most popular and may wish you were a part of that group. But look around and you may find a lot of other students in the same boat you are, they would like to make friends but they are shy. Start being observant of what others do when they are with friends it may give you some tips on getting over shyness. Join some clubs if possible, or find a few students with common interests and get to know them. Start by just being friendly and go from there.

Answer 3

I had the exact same problem when I was 12. I was extremely shy (I still am, not as bad though) and barely had any friends. I used to be friends with a few nice girls, but I stopped hanging out with them so I could be a part of the popular crowd. That was probably the biggest mistake I've ever made.. they treated me like dirt, took advantage of me, and just didn't really care about me at all... when I got into grade 8, I grew up and started hanging around the girls who actually cared about me. Now I'm in grade 9, and I feel so happy that I made friends with them again, because I feel like they truly respect and care about me. What you have to do is find a group of nice people and start hanging around with them, just be really nice at first.. that's what I did to get my old friends back. Do NOT hang around with the crowd that doesn't care about you, you'll just get hurt like me =[.

And for your shyness... if it's really bothering you, then you should do something about it. Start talking to nice people.. talk about anything. Compliments always work, like telling a girl that you like her earrings or whatever. Making the conversation flow is really hard, but you'll never get there unless you practise with people. Good luck, I hope I helped =]

Answer 4

Popularity means nothing. I tell my little sister that in 10 years she isn't going to know half these people anyway so why spend some of your best years of your life trying to impress them? Find something you like to do, join a club (or create your own). I found my "way" in school by playing sports. If that isn't your thing, then just focus on school and say WHO CARES to all those other people. The popular kids are usually the ones who do the worst in school, wind up pregnant and unhappy and wish they could do it all over again anyway. Be yourself, that is always the best answer.

Answer 5

Look, if people can't except you as you are they they are the ones that nedd a personality change! Maybe you could join some clubs at school cos then you you will find some really cool people that are into the same things as you, and it will be easier t start a conversation with them cos you wil know what they like. So i hope that that helps and if that doesn't work speak to your teacher about it...Good luck!

Answer 6

I suggest renting the TV series "Freaks and Geeks" on DVD. It'll show you that TONS of us have felt just like you, and popularity usually isn't the answer. "Popular" kids' lives are not what they seem, and you can have a much more fulfilling life by sticking to your interests. The friends you slowly make--even though it won't be as many as some of the so-called cool kids--will end up being super-close to you, maybe for life. I'm still really shy and i know how you feel.

Answer 7

I'm a student in middle school who has the used to have the same problem. I didn't really change myself i just started to hang around people who i thought would be nice friends and shortly they started talking to me and now i'm bff's with them. Once you get that down, you can start making friends with more popular people cause you've already started conquering you shyness. You will slowly work your way up to being a popular student and make friends in the process. You will also have conquered your shyness.

Answer 8

HEYYYY don't be shy! you see, you have the gut to chat and COMMUNICATE on the internet with ppl,im sure you can speak up!

Don't worry you are only 12, you have a lot of time! take your time...

haha besides, ignore the popular people, they aren't always good. Some of them do drugs and smoke and stuffs

i suggest you: Build up your self esteem and confident, definitely, try to be helpful, and hang around a few, good friends

Popular ones, just walk away from them...bad influence sometimes..im not trying to be stereotypical, but its treue

Answer 9

Don't worry about popularity. You don't want to worry about trying to fit in with people you may not get along with. Popular kids for the most are self absorbed. Find friends that you get along with, without changing who you are. Honestly if you want to work on something make sure you do well in school. I was popular in high school and it kind of absorbed my time with parties and what not. I don't talk to anyone from high school because I grew up and realized they were fake and that wasn't who I was. I am in college and it is completely different. If you find that person that is truely your friend that you completely get along with (regardless of your or their popularity) you have found something. I got a modeling contract after high school but chose to go to college. I married the average guy that everyone couldn't understand why. He may not have been popular but he was real with me. He talks about his life long friends and I'm jealous because I missed out on that because I hung out with the fake people. Life will work out for you. Don't turn yourself into a clone of others to be excepted, you will only be hurting yourself.

Answer 10

No, don't try to fit in with everyone else. Popularity is not as important as you think it is. Infact, at your age, school will get in the way of your social life. Also at your age, your peers will get into "bad business," and that's another reason you shouldn't hang out with them. Don't lower to their standards. Rise and live above the urge that makes you want to hang out with them. Trust me, it's not good for you, or your future.

Answer 11

Don't change your personality just to be popular. Find yourself some close friends and be friendly and you'll start feeling less shy. Don't worry, I went through it last year, and it just takes some getting used to.