My Boyfriend is a great dad but I feel I am not getting enough quality time with him. He has moved to the same suburb as his ex to be closer to his children & work(an hour away from me). He sees his children almost every day to pick them up from day care or visits them just to say goodnight if he doesnt see them every day he will call them which is lovely don't get me wrong, he has the children 3/4 weekends. I see him during the week but usually only for a couple of hours and in that time he is so exhausted I feel he is trying very hard to please all involved. I just feel like I am getting the "leftovers" as such. I think I might be becoming a little jealous and/or unappreciated please help!
2007-12-08 10:25:53 · 10 answers · asked by Neishi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My Boyfriend is a great dad but I feel I am not getting enough quality time with him. He has moved to the same suburb as his ex to be closer to his children & work(an hour away from me). He sees his children almost every day to pick them up from day care or visits them just to say goodnight if he doesnt see them every day he will call them which is lovely don't get me wrong, he has the children 3/4 weekends. I see him during the week but usually only for a couple of hours and in that time he is so exhausted I feel he is trying very hard to please all involved. I just feel like I am getting the "leftovers" as such.
I also have 2 of my own children full time (accept every second weekend) so it is rather hard to find time for 'us'. I think I might be becoming a little jealous and/or unappreciated please help!
2007-12-08 10:37:53 · update #1
Wow i could have written this question myself! Although it's my husband I have this issue with! He is a great dad and even greater husband, but he sometimes has a hard time juggling it all so I will more then often end up with the short end of the stick...so, No, I don't think your jealous or unappreciated I think he has has to get used to everything and somehow learn a balance. Eventually he'll realize that it's OK to have some "alone time" with you and often that will mean "making time"
Hang in there!
2007-12-08 10:48:19 · answer #1 · answered by Who Knew? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Between those two, I would say unappreciated but I think I would prefer the words, Taken for granted. It sounds like he is still wrapped up in his family and you will always take second place so until he makes more time for you, you should find someone else. He should get together with his wife and establish visitation so that they both can move on and unless he does you should find someone with more time for you. there is even the possibility that he and his wife could still get back together given the amount of time they must be spending together for the sake of the kids!!
check out life choices and you may also find some answers there regarding relationships, self esteem and so on. Good Luck to you!!
2007-12-08 10:43:07 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't think you are being selfish or unappreciated. However, it is clear that to your boyfriend, his kids comes first, before you. Can you handle that? It's actually very normal for people that has kids. His priority is his relationship with his kids not you. It's not anyone's fault. It's just how things are. Ask him if he sees a future with you. If he wants to marry you in the future, then support him. Because how he treats his kids reflects how he will treat you and your baby one day. However if he does not plan to marry you, then end things now. Because he does not have the time to have a relationship right now.
2007-12-08 10:34:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
your right .. your getting the left overs.. but that is what happens sometimes when people split up and the other can not move on .. not saying that he should not be spending as much time as he can with the children.. but it seems he wants to spend as much time as he did when he and his wife were married..that just can not happen..does she have someone in her life.. and how long have they been split up..who left who.. did she leave him.. you do need to decicide if your willing to do this for a while.. maybe until the children reach adult hood.. because it could be that long..if not then you need to cut your loses and run
2007-12-08 12:52:18 · answer #4 · answered by vis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears like; regrettably; she's taking great thing approximately you company clever. merely with the aid of fact she's your mom would not provide her that real. you have your very own kinfolk now to guard and he or she has to admire that. i might say it's time to go on; she'll locate somebody else, and if she would not then it is going to likely be in charge for her to guard the corporate she started; you already know? each worker has to have a lunch; it is area of the hard paintings regulation btw. i ended doing company with my mom a pair of years in the past; she grow to be continuously in my company and tried to tell me the thank you to stay; i ended up shifting. I rented her condominium from her.
2016-10-10 21:03:39 · answer #5 · answered by quintero 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right....you ARE getting the leftovers.
That's all you SHOULD be getting.
This guy is being a REAL dad, and a real MAN and taking care of his children, which is where his FIRST priorities lie. If you can't accept that, then get out of the picture. You cannot be first while these children are young.
2007-12-08 10:49:20 · answer #6 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
it sounds like he just doesn't have the time for the kids and a relationship, he may really like you, but just doesn't have the time right now, if you would like more attention you need to find some one that can give you the time and attention you need,it doesn't mean you or the current guy are bad people it just means this relationship wont work right now
2007-12-08 10:40:33 · answer #7 · answered by George 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You're not either of those, you just don't know what it is like to be a parent. Better decide soon if an instant family is what you want or move on. The boyfriend will be okay without you but if the kids get attached to you, their hearts will be broken once again.
2007-12-08 10:30:41 · answer #8 · answered by melzma 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
If you can't handle the kids always coming before you then don't date guys with kids!! He deserves someone that respects the fact that he is so into his kids.
2007-12-08 10:30:06 · answer #9 · answered by YUMMY1 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
He may be cheating with the ex....check on it. Men only know how to do 6 things: eat, sleep, cheat, skeet, lie and wear pants.
2007-12-08 10:30:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 6⤋